Thursday night Robert and I were riding the train home after having drinks with his boss. We were tipsy, laughing and being silly. I had been doing the Gangnam Style dance all night and the song was in my head, so I found myself singing “heyyyy sexy lady!” and shaking my hips while holding onto him for balance on the train.

“They’re probably going to play that song at Geo’s wedding next weekend” Robert said, laughing at me.

“Ohhhh you’re right! You need to learn the dance before then so you can do it with me,” I said tapping his chest with my finger,

“I need to learn it, and you need to get better at it,” he said teasing me.

“Excuse me, I can Gangnam Style with the best of ‘em,” I kept dancing in front of him and before I knew it we were having a pretend-argument about just how well I could do the dance.

“Okay, okay!” I took a deep breath between giggles, “on a scale of one-to-ten, how well can I do the dance?”

“On a scale of one-to-ten?” Robert asked, I nodded. “On a scale of one-to-ten… you’re a nine!” he replied in an over the top sweet voice while he stroked my arm.

I pulled away dramatically, “you’re so ridiculous! If I were a nine you would not be suggesting I rehearse this dance…. never mind the fact that you don’t even know the dance!”

We went round and round like this for a few stops. Laughing and teasing and challenging each other about dancing together. I don’t know when she got on, but suddenly I noticed a (skinny) girl across from us listening to our conversation with a smile on her face. Every time Robert made a silly comment, I’d roll my eyes and catch hers to give her a look like “men, sheesh”.

Out of the blue, she walked over to me, “I’m sorry… I can’t take this anymore,” she said. “You are GORGEOUS! you’re a great dancer and don’t let him tell you differently! Don’t let him make you think you’re not a beautiful, gorgeous girl… he’s just a stupid guy… he doesn’t know anything! You are gorgeous, BELIEVE THAT!” then she squeezed my hand and got off of the train.

I stood there thoroughly confused.

As far as I was concerned, I was having a playful fight with the guy I’m seeing about a dumb dance that we might have to do at his friends wedding. But somehow she thought that I was an insecure girl who was being made to feel bad about herself by a guy.

The longer I date Robert, the more I am coming to terms with what people project onto our relationship when they look at us. Because I am a Plus Size Princess and he’s a normal size, tall, attractive dude I’m constantly navigating through the fact that some people don’t think we “match”, like the girl who was shocked when she saw his picture, or last month when Robert was buying my drinks all night and sitting right next to me, but a female asked if a girl three feet away from us was his girlfriend (as if I was just an invisible non-factor).

I think the lady on the train gave me that pep talk because she assumed that I didn’t think I was attractive and she assumed that I was desperate to be with Robert, so I was allowing him treat me badly. I can’t help but wonder if she saw Robert having that same playful argument with like… Kelly Rowland or some model, if she’d feel the need to make the same speech.

I’m just fascinated by what people see/project onto PSP’s with attractive boyfriends.

Thoughts??? Do any of you struggle with this?

Do you follow “PlusSizePrincess” on Instagram? If you don’t, here’s what you missed:

First of all I’m having the best time transitioning my Foxcroft Denim Shirt into the fall. I came up with two new ways to rock it one look was for dinner, the other for brunch.

(skirt: Rachel Pally, Leather moto jacket: Avenue, Infinity scarf: H&M, Mini skirt: Rainbow)

Lets see… what else?

I was on Huffington post Live (twice!) you can see the first segment here.

Two of the post talented people I know are producing a play, so I went to support them and help raise money… you can learn about their production of Dog Opera here and get tix here.

I had a cute girls dinner in Harlem with Kellie from fatshioninsider, Nadia Abhoulson, and Beck from Manfattan and a few other bloggers.

I also got to spend some time with Luvvie and +size designer Monif C. at the Focus100 symposium. There are women of color doing amazing things in technology, don’t sleep!

Have a good weekend!

xoxo

Hi CeCe,
I’m not a PSP but I have a friend who is, and she showed me your blog. You come of as very kind and beautiful person in your blog and even us skinnies can relate to a lot of the things you say in your posts. I really like your upbeat attitude.

I have a question: Are you and Robert of the same ethnicity? I’m Indian and I generally don’t date within my own ethnicity..like I’ve dated a lot of European guys, and you said in your blog that you don’t care about ethnicity either.

If you aren’t of the same ethnicity, are there complications that come up there? Just curious for your say on the topic.

Take Care,
DC

Hi DC,

I know there are some skinnies like you out there who read TBGB, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to write to me! I love hearing from readers of all sizes, so this is great. To answer your question: Robert and I are both black, but as you know I am “down with the swirl” and have dated guys of all races. If there was a passport for dating, I’d have a stamp from every country by now….

In my experience, yes there are complications that come from interracial dating, but if you’re okay with doing a little extra work its nothing you can’t get through. As we discovered in the “Size & Race” series we’ve got going, race a complex topic, so I’m going to answer your questions in three parts: Public, Private and Family.

Public: In my experience, interracial dating will give you a rude awakening that people aren’t as liberal/progressive as we assume they are. Living in NYC, I thought that the diversity of this city and being in a diverse couple would go hand in hand. Not so much…

One of the first guys I dated in the city was a blond haired, blue eyed boy who could have stepped out of the pages of Tiger Beat. One night after a movie, we were standing on the train platform being all couply/cuddly. He had his jacket open and I had my arms around his waist inside of it as we waited for the train. We were cuddling in silence, when he whispered in my ear “everyone is staring at us”. I pulled away from him, and saw all of the middle-aged white upper west siders in the 72nd street station looking down their noses at us.

A few months later, we were riding the train in the Bronx. Our train car was empty and we sat together in the far corner, my legs draped over his (clearly we were a very touchy-feely duo). A group of subway workers finishing a shift got onto our train, they were all black. They gave us a once-over glance and then one of them broke away from the group, walked to where I was sitting with my boy and said to me “take your legs off of him, right now”. In my naiveté I thought it was a train safety concern, but the look of disdain on his and his coworkers faces quickly told me that they just didn’t want to see a brown girl like me cuddled up with a white boy.

Those were pretty extreme experiences, but even the day-to-day stares that we would get when we were together was enough to drive you crazy… if we let it.

When it comes to dating outside your race, my experience is that you both have to be each others advocates and protectors. You have to advocate and protect each other and yourselves as a couple because outside opinions from the public will come out and it wont always be pretty.

Even though race isn’t important to me, I understand that it’s an issue of importance in today’s world.

The awkward parts of interracial dating can put you and your boo in difficult spots from time to time, but it can also make you a super strong couple, because in some ways it’s the two of you against the world.

Next week, we’ll discuss the “Private” element of interracial dating.

Have any of YOU dated outside your race? Had any good/bad experiences?

I just got an alert that “Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” is completely sold out!

First of all, thanks to everyone who registered for this event. I’m really looking forward to meeting all of you and I’ve been working hard to make sure we all have a fun evening on Saturday. For those of you who are registered, it will be a great chance for meeting other PSPs and Bloggers. So make sure you bring business cards! You can get some easily from sites like UPrinting business cards so that you can keep in touch via email/twitter with the NYC PSP’s that you meet.

If you weren’t able to register you can still be a part of it by following @thebiggirlblog and the #curvyconvoNYC hashtag from 6:30-8:30pm EST.

Lastly my amazing sponsors: match.com, simplybe.com and The Foxcroft Collection are running giveaways with me at the event AND ONLINE. You can win via facebook and Twitter

To win a match.com subscription, tweet:
Want to win a Match.com Subscription? Follow @thebiggirlblog & @match then RT this message! http://su.pr/2hINMD #CurvyConvoNYC

To win a $100 gift card to SimplyBe.com tweet:
Giveaway Alert! Follow @thebiggirlblog & @SimplyBeUSA to win a $100 gift card (RT to enter) Details —>http://su.pr/2hINMD #CurvyConvoNYC

and for my facebook followers, to win a shirt from Foxcroft:
“Like” them here and leave a note on their wall saying “I read The Big Girl Blog & I’d love to win a shirt!”

Click here for more info and I’ll see you all tomorrow in- person or on twitter

Thanks for supporting TBGB!

xoxo

TBGB’s first meet-up is this Saturday (9/29) at 6:30! “Love Songs & Curvy Conversations”, will be an evening of live music (provided by me) and an in-person chat on Dating, Fashion and Fitness. This free event is open to everyone (even if you’re not a Plus Size Princess), so be sure to register here as we’re almost at capacity!

Love Songs & Curvy Conversations is being sponsored by Match.com, , SimplyBe.com and the Foxcroft Collection. Here’s what I’m giving away:

• 2 subscriptions to Match.com, one of the most popular dating sites around
• 2 $100 gift cards to SimplyBe.com, gorgeous plus size clothing (size 10-28)
• 3 tailored shirts from the Foxcroft Collection, beautifully tailored shirts (size 4-24W)

All attendees will be entered to win each prize and for those of you who aren’t able to come, you can enter to win via twitter/facebook… rules to do that are below!

To win a match.com subscription, tweet:
Want to win a Match.com Subscription? Follow @thebiggirlblog & @match then RT this message! http://su.pr/2hINMD #CurvyConvoNYC

To win a $100 gift card to SimplyBe.com tweet:
Giveaway Alert! Follow @thebiggirlblog & @SimplyBeUSA to win a $100 gift card (RT to enter) Details —>http://su.pr/2hINMD #CurvyConvoNYC

and for my facebook followers, to win a shirt from Foxcroft:
“Like” them here and leave a note on their wall saying “I read The Big Girl Blog & I’d love to win a shirt!”

I know not everyone lives in NYC, so “Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” will be live-tweeted, just follow @thebiggirlblog and the #CurvyConvoNYC hashtag beginning at 6:30 on Saturday.

I’m so excited to host my first meet up in NYC!

“Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” will be a fun evening of live music (provided by me) and an in-person chat about dating, dressing and losing weight as a Plus Size Princesses.

Have questions you’ve always wanted to ask me? Want to meet other TBGB readers? This is the place to be!

…Oh, and there will be giveaways

Sign up for the event by clicking the button below:

See you there!

P.S. Everyone is welcome to attend, so bring your skinny friends too!

First of all, I’ll be doing another live #CurvyConvo chat on Twitter AND facebook tomorrow at 2pm. We had a great time last week, so lets do it again… follow @thebiggirlblog or “like” TBGB on facebook to participate. Okay, now on to my week:

I spent Fashion Week skipping shows and attending parties and events instead. Here’s what I did and what I wore! (follow me on instagram “PlusSizePrincess”)

I started the week with a Brazilian themed cruise around Manhattan with Robert, Adam from CutToTheFront and Suezette from Tales of a Southern Broad.The company is called Affairs Afloat and they do party cruises throughout the week. The boat is three levels with different types of music and its fully covered, so they can sail rain or shine. We had a great time dancing and enjoying the views of Manhattan. I would definitely do it again and its something good to do when you have friends in town!

The next night was Fashion’s Night Out, I wore a denim shirt from Foxcroft, a leather belt from Torrid and a pencil skirt from Lane Bryant (I got the belt and skirt ages ago). I spent that evening sipping champagne and looking at the upgraded Crocs collection. The event was held at the SoHo store and was hosted by Ms. Kathryn Finney. I’m really impressed with how Crocs are branching out into more trendy styles of boots and ballet flats. I wear an 11W and they fit my feet, so check them out!

Friday Night I had a quiet dinner with Patrice from Afrobella and Ms. Kathryn Finney at Red Rooster in Harlem. The food was good (I had a shrimp & Walnut salad) and the crowd was perfect for a Friday night. The night turned interesting when I guy who complimented me when we walked into the restaurant, found me at our table and handed me a poem that he wrote for me on the spot! He said I “inspired” him… that was definitely a first!

Then on Saturday I attended Cocktails & Couture, hosted by Liane Farbes and Afrobella… I had a great time and hopefully the pictures from that event will come out soon, in the meantime… here’s what I wore! This is a vintage Lane Bryant dress (from the style and fabric, I’m guessing from the 1960′s) I got it at a thrift store for $5!! Necklace from H&M (old), clutch was a gift from a friend.

Anyway, that was my week! Hope yours is off to a good start…

xoxo

Happy Friday!

I just wanted to update you guys on a few things:

1.) I’ve been getting a few notes that I only do giveaways on Twitter and never on facebook. I’ve heard your requests and I’m cooking up a facebook giveaway for you as we speak! I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that everyone will participate, so if you have a second, click here and “like” TBGB on fb.

2.) I’m singing at a coffee shop in Harlem next month. I asked them if we could do a Curvy Conversations meetup in the space after I sing and they said yes! So save the date: September 29th 6:30-8:30pm.

That’s it for now… have a good weekend and I hope to see you soon!

xoxo