Before we jump into todays post, thanks to everyone who is a part of the #PSPfit bootcamp. We’ve got a few walk-in tickets for any girls who want to come workout with us and get the clean eating packet for the week. Join us, Get your $20 tix here.

Now for todays post:

My girl @FeministaJones is a great twitter personality who has a lot going for her, she used to be a lot bigger than she is so its fun to tweet with her about +size problems. Last night she got me all turned up when she called out subtle fat prejudice by tweeting this:

RT if you treat the hefty friends you have like maternal figures and have no fear going out with them

— FJ The Riveter(@FeministaJones) April 21, 2013

Hopefully you get her humor and see that she’s calling out the people who have Plus Size Princesses in their lives because we’re “safe” and make them feel good about themselves.

Yes, she said it and I echo the sentiment.

For many people, a Plus Size Princess is a safe friend. A PSP is the girl you go out with because it automatically makes you the hot chick. Is it something that’s done on purpose? I’m not sure. But ask any PSP who has lost a significant amount of weight, some of the relationships with their female friends did not survive once they slimmed down. Hmmmm.

My main fascination with this is how people refuse to acknowledge that Plus Size Princesses can have a romantic/sexual life. When I was auditioning for roles in theater, I was constantly cast as the “Mom”, the “Teacher”, the “Aunt”… even if I could sing the part of the girlfriend, my size made it impossible for casting directors to see me as an object of desire.

This type of thinking floods back into the real world and my relationships with my female friends. I am safe. It reminded me of something that happened a few years ago, so I tweeted the story to @FeministaJones:

A friend asked if her bf could stay w/ me in NYC… Alone. Thought it was odd then realized she didn’t see me as a threat @feministajones

— CeCe Olisa (@thebiggirlblog) April 21, 2013

Am I a trustworthy friend? Sure. Was I attracted to her boyfriend? Absolutely not. But think about it, if I had a Kim Kardashian body, do you think my girl would send her boyfriend to sleep over at my apartment for a few days without her? That request helped me see that for many women I’m very much a non-factor. “Lets see if you can stay with CeCe” is the same to them as “Lets see if you can stay with my Aunt Glenda”.

For many people I’m just this warm maternal figure who will take care of them and anyone around me (this happens to be true I’m a first-born and a Cancer) but to ignore that I’m also a sexual being capable of desire and being desired is to ignore my femininity and my womanhood.

@thebiggirlblog until he tries to slide on in..

— Sweet Sap Jane (@languishlita) April 21, 2013

…and there you have it. Thanks @languishlita for making it plain!

Thoughts? Chime in below!

Plus Size Princesses can get Brazilian Waxes just like anyone else. I got my first one when I went to Miami a few years back. At first I was scared to have someone all in my “nooks and crannies”, but I found aestheticians that I (and my lil’ CeCe) are comfortable with and I’ve been hooked ever since. There is a lot about Brazilian Waxing that people won’t tell you so… I thought I’d share the in depth conversation I had with my twitter PSP’s about “going to Brazil”.

P.S. Don’t forget to register for the #PSPfit Clean Eating & Fitness Bootcamp!

I LOVE love, so naturally Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I have fun on Valentines Day even when I’m not dating anyone and a big part of that is dressing up.

To make Vday fun for all of my PSP’s, I’d like to kickstart something new: The Plus Size Princess Style Challenge (#PSPstyle). Think of #PSPStyle as the sister hashtag to #PSPfit, the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge. We’ve been taking pictures of ourselves all sweaty at the gym, now lets document when we’re looking our curvaceous best!

Here’s how to get your pics to me:

Facebook: Tag TBGB’s facebook page and once I get the notification, I’ll share your fabulous pic.

Twitter: Tweet your outfit pic to @thebiggirlblog #PSPstyle and I’ll RT

Instagram: Tag PlusSizePrincess #PSPstyle

#PSPstyle isn’t just for Valentines Day. From now on, whenever you post a cute pic on instagram or twitter be sure to tag #PSPstyle so that I can ReTweet/Repost your fun fashion style photos and award prizes when I can.

For the Valentines #PSPstyle challenge I’ve got FIVE prizes to give away: A $100 gift card to Igigi, a $50 gift card to Lane Bryant and 3 red satin bras from Just My Size.

The contest is open from 2/11-2/18 for those of you who celebrate Vday early or late. Enter as many times as you want, if you love your outifts every day tag them with #PSPstyle and send them on over! Here’s how to enter:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

As I walked across Eldridge street I had butterflies in my stomach. I’d been talking to Brian, the guy I gave my number to for a week and this was our first date. Brian had suggested that we go dancing at bOb, a hole in the wall dance club on the Lower East Side that plays hip hop and reggae until the wee hours of the morning.

As I approached the club, I saw a broad, 6’4 cutie waiting for me on the corner.

“Hi,” I smiled.

“Hi,” he pulled me in for a hug and I closed my eyes as he gave me a little squeeze. He took a step back, “you look good”.

“Thanks,” I felt good in a black and white mini dress and knee-high boots. My braids were pulled back into a ponytail and my face was done with bronzer, a smokey eye and clear lip gloss.

I was excited. The electricity I felt from across the counter in Urban Outfitters was even more intense as Brian took my hand and lead me into the crowded club. Without saying much, Brian took me into the middle of the dance floor and we started to move. The music at bOb, a tiny sweat box of a club, created a sultry mood. We danced all night, with Brian taking time out to buy me drinks from time to time.

The chemistry I had with Brian was great and as first dates went, this one was going very well. As the night went on I could feel my soft 5’10 inch frame melting into his solid 6’4 inch frame. His hands moved from my waist to my hips and back again as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Then I felt his hands push my ponytail to the side to make room for his lips on my neck.

You know that old school Mya song? The one when she sings “your lips are telling me yes when they’re kissing on my neck… should I stay? should I go? I don’t know!” I was basically having the real life experience of that song with Brian on the dance floor at bOb.

I was melting in his hands and it felt great, but I wanted more than something physical and I felt like if we got any closer, our chances of dating in the traditional sense would be ruined. It was getting late, so I told him I was ready to go home. I was hoping that by pumping the breaks, Brian and I could get to know each other more and take our time. He seemed cool about it, he hailed me a cab, handed the driver $40 to get me home and then leaned down into the back seat, his face hovering in front of mine.

“I had fun,” he whispered.

“Me too,” I said.

Then he kissed me.

Part Three, next week….

A lot of you were asking about the dresses I wore while I was in Miami earlier this month, here’s the rundown!

Maxi Dress: Asos, Shoes: Avenue, Bracelets: Avenue, Bag: Steve Madden (see links below)

Silk Maxi Dress by FatPhrocks

Dress: Jessica Simpson, Shoes: Avenue, Bag: Old (see links below)

Shop the look…

So… I’m not losing weight.

For the past 2 weeks the scale dips down and then it zooms right back up again. I don’t think I’m in a plateau situation but I’m trying to see what changes I can make to get the scale moving in the direction that I would like. The first thing I’m doing is nixing alcohol from my diet. My life in NYC is very much surrounded by cocktails. My week can have a combination of wine with Robert, after work cocktails, open bar blogging events, etc. and those are calories that aren’t necessary, so I’m starting there. The Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge (#PSPfit) is 100% about getting fit and healthy and I’m definitely doing that but I want weight loss to be one of the results of a stronger healthier life.

The other thing I’m doing is finding inspiration to keep trying. I spent the weekend looking at plus size swimwear by Simply Be and fantasizing about wearing a more daring bathing suit this summer. Of course, I find inspiration from the #PSPfit girls on twitter/instagram/tumblr. I’ve also found motivation in having legit workout gear because new gym clothes make me want to go work out more.

The latest addition to my #PSPfit wardrobe is from JCPenney’s Xersion line, The pieces are perfect for an active Plus Size Princess. Their racer-back tank flares out at the waist, so its not tight on my tummy. Their colorful jackets are designed to loop your headphones through the pocket so you don’t drop your phone. Best of all, they make really amazing workout leggings with reflective stripes and a pocket in the back for your phone/keys/credit cards. Its nice to have plus size active wear that goes beyond leggings and a t shirt. Just call me “Sporty Spice”

Photos taken with the HTC One phone!

The sizing on these items is pretty standard. Everything I have fits like a glove and the shirt and pants have adjustable draw string waist bands. Also note that the tank doesn’t have a shelf bra, so I’m wearing a sports bra underneath, but the shirt is made to camouflage that.

How are YOUR 2013 fitness goals coming along?

Snag Plus Size workout clothes from JCPenney & Xersion below!

This post was inspired by the online debates I’ve seen about Beyonce showing her body, particularly the bottom of her breasts on the cover of GQ this month. I guess Body Policing can happen even if you have a perfect body!

When I was 13 my best friend Jennifer and I got matching pink/purple spaghetti strapped tank tops (this was right before she “stole my boyfriend” and I had to go all 90210 on her, but I digress). Matching outfits with my best friend was a huge deal for me because she was 5’1 and skinny and I was a 5’10 Plus Size Princess in puberty who already had D cup breasts. As you can imagine, finding a cute top that fit both of us was a pretty daunting task.

One day, we decided that we would wear our cute little tanks to dance class at our performing arts school. Intermediate Jazz was business as usual, a warm up… across the floor exercises and then choreography to our favorite songs. If you know anything about a good workout/dance class, the high you feel is amazing… by the end of class we were a bundle of happy energy and endorphins. Going to the School of the Arts meant that I was able to get that feeling in school twice a week with all my friends. This was heaven to me so, when my dance teacher asked to speak to me after class I bounced over to her almost giddily.

“Yes, Ms. V?” I said, pulling my duffel bag onto my shoulder.

“CeCe, I don’t want you wearing that tank top in my class anymore. You need to bring tops that cover your breasts.” Ms. V said, curtly.

Her comments brought my emotions down from a dancers high at a rate so fast it stung. I was mortified. I blinked, quickly… taking in not only what she said, but the way she said it. Ms. V had never been mean to me, but today her voice had a slight edge to it. Her request wasn’t terrible but it was almost like I had offended her.

All the girls wore tank tops to dance class, but according to Ms. V, I could not. Being a teenage PSP, I often felt boxed out of trends that my peers were rocking because they just didn’t make those things in my size. So that pink/purple tank top meant a lot to me. Now, I was feeling boxed out again… My skinny bff, was by no means flat chested but she wasn’t asked to cover her breasts. The tank was okay on her, but not on me. She was okay seeing the moderate size breasts in tank tops, but my full breasts were too much.

We’re okay if Beyonce shows traditional “top of breast” cleavage, but seeing the bottom of her breasts is over the line– how do we decide these things?

Looking back, could I have worn something less revealing to dance class? Sure! Was her request outrageous? Not really. It was a good teaching moment, because at that age I was still learning my body and what was appropriate (my Mom probably would have told me to pack a different top for dance class, had she seen what I had planned to wear).

I think the hardest part about that moment for me is that I felt judged.

When you have large breasts on a plus size body it’s almost as if your breasts become a punch line. An extension of a body that already takes up “too much space”. Suddenly, your body becomes public domain and everyone had an opinion on how your body is represented.

Body Policing comes in many different forms “you’re too big wear that”, “that’s not age-appropriate”, “you’re a mom now”… how often to we hear (or say) things like that? I know I do. But I’m starting to wonder if that’s a form of body policing… what do you think?

Should we judge how much skin people (of all sizes) show?

The first time I saw a Plus Size Princess in a tutu, I knew I had to have one. I spent hours searching online and everyone seemed to have sold out of them the minute they became available. But I was obsessed and refused to give up… somehow I discovered Ouma on Etsy and she made my dreams come true! I sent her my measurements and told her the color and length I wanted and she custom made me a tulle skirt and included a satin sash (although I prefer to wear mine with a more structured belt).

I’ve worn my tutu mostly for singing performances, but when I’m feeling extra princess-like I’ll wear it to a special event.

Tulle Skirt: Ouma, Sweater: Old Navy, Shoes Avenue, Bag: Vintage

Bronzer: Covergirl Queen Collection, Eye Shadow: Sonia Kashuk matte pallete, Blush: Tarte

Twistout Fro-hawk done with shea butter and bobby-pins

Photos by: Zanography