Thursday night Robert and I were riding the train home after having drinks with his boss. We were tipsy, laughing and being silly. I had been doing the Gangnam Style dance all night and the song was in my head, so I found myself singing “heyyyy sexy lady!” and shaking my hips while holding onto him for balance on the train.

“They’re probably going to play that song at Geo’s wedding next weekend” Robert said, laughing at me.

“Ohhhh you’re right! You need to learn the dance before then so you can do it with me,” I said tapping his chest with my finger,

“I need to learn it, and you need to get better at it,” he said teasing me.

“Excuse me, I can Gangnam Style with the best of ‘em,” I kept dancing in front of him and before I knew it we were having a pretend-argument about just how well I could do the dance.

“Okay, okay!” I took a deep breath between giggles, “on a scale of one-to-ten, how well can I do the dance?”

“On a scale of one-to-ten?” Robert asked, I nodded. “On a scale of one-to-ten… you’re a nine!” he replied in an over the top sweet voice while he stroked my arm.

I pulled away dramatically, “you’re so ridiculous! If I were a nine you would not be suggesting I rehearse this dance…. never mind the fact that you don’t even know the dance!”

We went round and round like this for a few stops. Laughing and teasing and challenging each other about dancing together. I don’t know when she got on, but suddenly I noticed a (skinny) girl across from us listening to our conversation with a smile on her face. Every time Robert made a silly comment, I’d roll my eyes and catch hers to give her a look like “men, sheesh”.

Out of the blue, she walked over to me, “I’m sorry… I can’t take this anymore,” she said. “You are GORGEOUS! you’re a great dancer and don’t let him tell you differently! Don’t let him make you think you’re not a beautiful, gorgeous girl… he’s just a stupid guy… he doesn’t know anything! You are gorgeous, BELIEVE THAT!” then she squeezed my hand and got off of the train.

I stood there thoroughly confused.

As far as I was concerned, I was having a playful fight with the guy I’m seeing about a dumb dance that we might have to do at his friends wedding. But somehow she thought that I was an insecure girl who was being made to feel bad about herself by a guy.

The longer I date Robert, the more I am coming to terms with what people project onto our relationship when they look at us. Because I am a Plus Size Princess and he’s a normal size, tall, attractive dude I’m constantly navigating through the fact that some people don’t think we “match”, like the girl who was shocked when she saw his picture, or last month when Robert was buying my drinks all night and sitting right next to me, but a female asked if a girl three feet away from us was his girlfriend (as if I was just an invisible non-factor).

I think the lady on the train gave me that pep talk because she assumed that I didn’t think I was attractive and she assumed that I was desperate to be with Robert, so I was allowing him treat me badly. I can’t help but wonder if she saw Robert having that same playful argument with like… Kelly Rowland or some model, if she’d feel the need to make the same speech.

I’m just fascinated by what people see/project onto PSP’s with attractive boyfriends.

Thoughts??? Do any of you struggle with this?

I have about five contacts in my phone under the name “DO NOT ANSWER!”. These are five guys who I dated in the past and even though our relationship is finished, they won’t take a hint. I refuse to change my phone number, even though I wish they couldn’t contact me directly anymore.

In today’s world, giving someone your cell phone number offers them access to you in ways that you might regret later. Is every guy you meet crazy? No. But sometimes its nice to have a contact buffer between you and the men approaching you until you’re 100% comfortable with them. If you want to maintain privacy, while looking for love, MyAKA might be the answer to your problems. MyAKA is a service that provides a second phone number in your area code that links directly to your current mobile phone.

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The Plus Size Princess Fitness challenge officially started on Monday, but I used last week as a practice and… I lost three pounds!

Sadly, I had been gaining so even though I lost three I need to drop two more to hit my 30 pound mark again. Womp! Womp!

#PSPfit is shaping up to be a great group of girls and seeing everyone tweet/take photos to record our healthy habits is awesome accountability. I’ve avoided eating a few things because I didn’t want to have to take a photo of it!

I’m finding that the minute I decide to get back on my weight loss grind, I start to have really intense cravings for things I don’t want in my diet. This weekend I was craving pumpkin ice cream… I’ve never even had pumpkin ice cream before!! Does this happen to anyone else??

Anyway, Wednesday is my weigh in day, so I’ll be announcing my progress again in one week.

Cardio & Curvy Conversations is this Saturday, so I know I’ll be burning calories there because the class we’ve got planned is phenomenal! Click here to register (it’s free!)

Also, it’s not too late to join #PSPfit. Just leave a comment with your twitter handle & I’ll add you to the list!

How’s everyone else doing with their weight loss goals?

It was a Monday afternoon and I was taking a dance class at one of my favorite studios in midtown. The routine we were learning was hard, but my body was learning the movements well enough. The whole reason I moved to NYC from California is to pursue my dream of performing/doing theater, so taking dance classes weekly is a great way for me to workout and stay prepared for anything that an audition would throw my way.

So, there I was in jazz, level 4. Learning the routine and feeling strong. “C’mon guys, sell it to meeee!” the instructor screamed before hitting play on the stereo. “FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!” he cried out, and we hit the routine. At this point we were drilling the dance over and over, which gave us all a chance to stop thinking about the steps, let go and just dance… perform even. I started to have fun with the choreography and give the routine everything that I had.

“Wait a minute,” the instructor called out as he paused the music. “Sorry– what’s your name?” he said pointing at me.

“CeCe,” I replied.

“CeCe, I like what you’re doing with those first few eight counts… can you do it again for the class?” he asked, beckoning me to the center of the floor. “Um, sure…” I said. My heart was beating fast, but I came to the middle of the dance floor while the class stepped aside to watch.

For those of you who didn’t grow up performing, being called out in class to show the other students “how its done” is a big deal. Its something that is only asked of the strongest dancers in class and for me, it was a huge deal because so matter how good I had been in previous classes, my weight had always kept me from being considered the strongest (I have more stories on that, but I’ll save them for another day).

At a young age, I had to accept that teachers would pretty much ignore me as a viable option for their stand out student because of my size, I never let that stop me from training, but every once in a while, I’d feel like everything I was doing was pointless. But now, here was a moment where my abilities as a dancer were being validated. I tried to play it cool and act like it was no big deal, but inside I was doing cartwheels!

The dance instructor pushed play and I began to do the choreography. I danced with every part of myself and when I was done, the class erupted into applause as is customary in a moment like that. Then the instructor walked to the middle of the dance floor, “thanks, CeCe!” he said giving me a nod, then he turned to the rest of the class and said “now, if this big girl can work my routine… I KNOW the rest of you can put in a little more effort!” and with that he started the music over again.

It felt as if he had punched me in the stomach. Oddly enough, I could tell that the dance instructor didn’t say what he said with malice. He actually pulled me to the side later, to tell me how much he loved having me in class, how talented he thought I was, etc.. But it didn’t change how hurtful that moment was.

Its frustrating that a PSP who isn’t bedridden is treated like some sort of magical elephant. I’m constantly approached by people at the gym who compliment me on how well I move, how light on my feet I am and how much stamina I have. 99% of the time, I think they’re trying to be encouraging and I try not to take offense, but I’ve always been this way and as I’ve mentioned plenty of times before, I am not the only Plus Size Princess who can do this stuff.

(That’s a big reason why I’m excited about Cardio & Curvy Conversations on Saturday. I think it will be nice to get a room full of Plus Size Princesses together who aren’t afraid to break a sweat.)

Anyway, as we begin out Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge, I just want to mention that people might say awkward things to us as we become more adventurous in our fitness. Please don’t let that hold you back from taking a new class or trying a new machine at the gym. We shouldn’t be embarrassed that we’re active PSPs… that’s something to be proud of!

For more information on the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge, click here.

This week may qualify as the best, ever!

Saturday night my bff, Alex took me to see the opening night of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” on Broadway. It was a star-studded evening and we had a great time enjoying drinks and yummy food with some of our favorite actors from the stage, TV and movies.

Then on Sunday, Robert took me to my first NFL game. We watched the JETS beat the Colts and our seats were fantastic!

Monday, when I got out of work, I had a text from my friend Dominic offering me a ticket to see Brandy in concert, so I dropped everything and met him at the Best Buy theater. We had an amazing time and my big sister Brandy is looking and sounding great!

Lastly, the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge is starting to pickup on Instagram and Twitter… we’re committing to eating well, working out 4 times a week and documenting it all online to hold ourselves accountable. Check out some TBGB readers below who are doing #PSPfit with me (we’re working out, devouring salads and feeling strong!). There’s still time to join, the official start is Monday 10/22! (just leave your twitter handle in the comments section here)

Follow me on Instagram: PlusSizePrincess

(click on the photo to enlarge it)

Last week I was having a rough day at work… it was one of those days where I brought my lunch back to my desk instead of taking lunch with Robert like I usually do.

I hate eating at my desk.

Eating at my desk puts me and my food choices on display for the entire office and it just makes me uncomfortable. If I eat at my desk and have something that isn’t a salad, all the women in my office walk by and say “oh my gawd, that smells soooo good!” then they look at my food longingly and announce that they’re off to get a salad.

*sigh*

I even had one coworker ask me once where I got my yummy looking non-salad lunch, ask me directions on how to get there and what exactly I ordered and then when she came back… she had a salad! “Oh, I just decided to be ‘good’ today…” she said.

So anyway, last week I was rushing to get lunch and bring it back to my desk. I had skipped breakfast too so when I got a craving for a turkey burger, I decided to follow through and order one. I ordered the turkey  burger, no bun with french fries and headed back to my desk to work and eat.

I was about halfway through my meal, when a female coworker passed by my desk, her eyes landed on my lunch and she stopped, “I guess you tossed your diet out the window today, huh?” she said with a laugh.

I felt my face get warm with embarrassment, “I didn’t eat breakfast today… and I’m going to the gym later” I said. She nodded in approval and kept walking. Even though my food explanation was enough for her, I hated myself for giving it. I don’t owe her a reason why I’m eating a bun-less turkey burger and fries just like she had no right to be all up in my lunch plate like that. But I’m noticing more and more that as women we feel like we have to explain everything we eat to each other.

Accountability is one thing, but I’m noticing that we go beyond that sometimes…

Like when you sit down to dinner and your girlfriend orders a “big meal” and then when the waitress walks away, she says “I didn’t eat lunch today,” to explain why she didn’t just order a salad… why do we do that? I do it too– when I eat with certain friends, I will order what I want and then give a full food explanation of everything I had to eat that day so they know I’m not eating too much or that I’ve “earned” my meal.

Whyyy do we do that??

Last week I was on Huffington Post talking about body policing and how its not okay to judge people based on size or assume you know how healthy they are based on what they weigh. A spin-off of body policing is food policing; we are obsessed with what other people do or don’t eat. I sometimes become obsessed with being “good” around my friends so that they don’t judge what’s on my plate. But if I know that I’m on track with what I’m eating, why does it matter?

Next week, we’re starting the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge– part of that will be putting pics of our meals on Instagram for inspiration and accountability (My IG name is PlusSizePrincess, btw). But if I slip up and eat “badly” I’m going to put myself on blast and post that too because that’s real life for me.

Do you sometimes feel guilty eating around friends/coworkers?

We’ll be talking about this during the #CurvyConvo twitter chat @ 2pm today (Thursday) follow @thebiggirlblog to join the Curvy Convo

I’m so tired of people assuming that if you’re overweight, you can’t move or exercise. I’m in the gym 3-4 times a week and I know a lot of other Plus Size Princesses are too, so lets meet up and do a high intensity workout together My next FREE event, “Cardio & Curvy Conversations” is happening on Saturday, October 27th from 2-4pm at New York Sports Club!

This event is open to TBGB readers of all sizes (yes, skinnies too), so feel free to sign up! We will do a 1 hour workout with my favorite trainer, Anthony Truly, followed by an interactive chat on fitness, weight loss and of course, dating.

New York Sports Club is sponsoring this #CurvyConvoNYC event and offering each attendee a 1 week pass to any NYSC in the city… they’re also letting me give away a couple of gym memberships. There are two ways to win a NYSC gym membership:

1.) Register and attend here

2.) Tweet: Want to win a New York Sports Club membership? Follow @thebiggirlblog & RT this! Click for deets —> http://ow.ly/ey9wL #CurvyConvoNYC

(of course if you do both, you double your chances to win)

Last months “Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” was sold out, if you weren’t able to make it, here’s what you missed:

Side Note: The Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge starts next week… if you want to join us, leave your twitter handle in the comments section here

I have been feeling pretty gross lately. Thankfully, I’ve maintained the 30 pounds I lost, but I haven’t lost any more than that. I’m still working out every week, but my eating (which is always my main struggle) is teetering back and forth between healthy and… not so healthy.

In addition to feeling yucky, I just looked at my calendar and realized that Thanksgiving is about six weeks away *faints* I don’t know about you guys, but I really need to get a jumpstart on my weight before the holidays. If I don’t, there’s a chance that I will be in a bad place come New Years and I’ve worked too hard to let that happen. Soooo, I have a proposal:

I’ve been seeing lots of fitness challenges on twitter and instagram, where people log their workouts and meals with each other via tweets, photos and check-ins. Maybe we could do a 30 day “Plus Size Princess Fitness” challenge of our own?

We could commit to:

• Working out 4 times per week (Yes, FOUR)
• Following our favorite healthy eating plan (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Clean Eating, Eat Right for your Type, anything goes!)
• Taking Photos of our meals and posting them on Instagram, Tumblr or Twitter with the #PSPfit hashtag
• Tweeting our workouts (what we did and for how long) using the #PSPfit hashtag

A Bonus for anyone who lives in/near NYC is that “Cardio & Curvy Conversations” is on 10/27 (register here, it’s free!) so you can come work out with me during the first week AND since New York Sports Club is giving all attendees a 1 week pass, we could potentially keep the work out groove going all the way into November!

I’ll also go back to my Weight loss Wednesday posts and we can talk about how we’re doing each week in the comments section of those posts. I’ll probably start doing my #PSPfit tracking tomorrow, to get into the groove of things (I really need to pull myself together, augh), but the official start date would be October 21.

Anyone want to do a #PSPfit challenge with me, pretty please?