Valentines day was a while ago, but I’m still basking in the glow. My Valentines Day started on the 13th with my Dad having roses delivered to my office Then on the 14th Robert showed up at my apartment at 8am with flowers and candy, it was a complete surprise, which I loved. Robert definitely spoiled me because he had Vday plans for us from Thursday morning-Saturday night, it was really really great *blush*

Igigi also had me in a romantic mood with their Sommer Plus Size Draped Dress, this is a great piece that I’ve worn with pink and green accessories. If you’re nervous about prints, the cut of this dress works so well on curves that the prints just feel… right. Note: When I sit down, “the twins” do show a bit more in the V-neck which is good for a date, but for work you may want to put a tank underneath.

Photos by Zanography

Here are the winners of the #PSPstyle Valentines Day challenge. The contest might be over, but #PSPstyle is here to stay! Have a cute outfit on? Instagram it with #PSPstyle and I’ll feature you on my page! (who knows, you might even win something) Congrats ladies!

Shop our looks below!

“I really want to make things work with her,” a male acquaintance of mine said during a birthday dinner. “Part of me wonders if I’m determined to make things work because I worked so hard to get her. I mean, I really chased her in the beginning.” He took a sip of his drink and I waited patiently for him to continue.

Its not often that I get to listen to a straight guy analyze his relationship, so I was all ears! (I won’t detail this guys relationship issues, but he’s got some very legit reasons why he’s working things out with his girl.) Anyway, he explained to me that he used his best “game” to get his girlfriend years ago. He had wined her and dined her and won her over, so even though things weren’t perfect now, the memories of what he had done to get her when they first met helped him to hold on now.

Of course as he spoke, my mind drifted to my relationship with Robert.

Robert and I were “just friends” for a very long time. The elements of a romantic relationship were always there, but no lines were crossed, ever. Those of you who have been with me through the whole “Um… Are We Dating?” story on this blog have watched the progression of CeCe & Robert from coworkers, to friendship to dating unfold. You also know how other guys treated me and I think in those other relationships (particularly with Kevin and Adrian) there was a stronger “chase” element.

Hmmm… I thought to myself, Robert didn’t really “chase” me… we just spent time together, became friends and things developed over time. Should I have made him work harder to “get me”? Do guys really need “the chase” to be fully vested in a relationship?

My male acquaintance continued to talk through his relationship issues. “But you know,” he continued “Because I spent so much time chasing her, we never became friends. We’re trying to build a solid friendship now, but its hard to go backwards. If I had come at things differently from the start, learned about her… what she likes… what she doesn’t like… and then seen where things went– I think our relationship now would be much better now.”

Whoa, I couldn’t help but smile, what he described is pretty much how things unfolded with Robert and me. By the time Robert and I went on our first date, he knew so much about me. And the more time we spend together, the more he learns. There is a comfort level that we have that didn’t exist with the guys that chased me, but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

It might not be as overt as when guys run game, but I see Robert work to impress me and make me happy and I appreciate it. When it comes to courtship, I think that being friends first has its pros and cons. But in relationships I’m starting to think that the friendship foundation is key.

At the end of the day, the guys who “put in work to get me” aren’t around anymore… and Mr. “Friends First”, Robert is still here, so maybe that’s my answer… time will tell.

Do YOU believe in being friends first?

Its Christmas Eve, I hope you’re all doing well today! Please continue to pray for the families in Newton, CT. my heart is still heavy for them.

This is my second Christmas dating Robert. Because our pace is sooo slow, last year I wasn’t sure if we were doing gifts and we ended up having a “did you get me something? Oh! I didn’t know we were doing that…” moment (awkward.). This year the idea of Christmas gifts wasn’t even a question. Robert and I have been casually mentioning getting gifts for each other for a few weeks and because I’m staying in NYC this year (I have family coming to me ) we’re getting together later today to exchange presents. Those of you who follow me on twitter already know what his present is, but I’ll update everyone on his reaction later *fingers crossed*.

Anyway, for those of you in relationships how do you determine when to give a Christmas gift to someone you’re dating? Do you give a gift when you feel like it? or do you try and find out if they intend to get you something first?

I really messed up last year, so I’m curious to know how other people avoid that misstep.

P.S. This year I will be posting the New Years outfits of TBGB readers… get your pics to me any way you can. Email them, tweet them to me, tag me on facebook/instagram. I will post the pics I get and hopefully feature some of you on a fashion recap post.

This morning Robert noticed that the price tags on my brand new sweater were visible through the knit. Too lazy to take the sweater off, I turned my back to him “Can you just tear it off?” I asked. He reached down the back of my top, carefully ripped the price tag and extra button off and handed it to me.

It wasn’t until an hour later that I realized I’d given him access to my clothing size without a second thought. For some of you this might sound like nothing, but for me its a huge deal. Not only because I let him see what size I wore, but because I’ve always had a very strange relationship with clothing tags.

You see up until the past year or so, none of my clothes had tags on them. I’m not talking about the price tags, everyone takes those off. I’m talking about the tag with a number on it that identifies what size dress/pants/sweater you have. For as long as I can remember I would rush home after a shopping trip, grab the scissors and cut the sizes off of everything I bought. The numbers 18… 20 … or 24 had no place in my closet (even if they applied to me) so I cut the numbers off as a way of pretending that I wasn’t that size.

Silly, I know… but it’s what I did.

Denial feels really good sometimes.

So fast forward to this morning… with Robert removing my forgotten price tag. As I went to throw it away, I had to pause and acknowledge how far I’ve come in accepting myself as a Plus Size Princess. Not only did I purchase the sweater last night and skip my size cutting ritual, but I let the guy I’m dating remove the tag for me… letting him see the size that I am right now.

I’m proud of myself.

Do any of YOU do weird things with your clothes?

I haven’t felt comfortable tweeting/blogging about the events that happened in Connecticut last week, its pretty overwhelming and I have no words. I would like to share that an official fund for the families has been set up, you can donate here. Also if there is someone in your life whose mental health has you concerned, you can click here for resources. I’ll continue to pray and I hope you’ll do the same.

Even though we met in real life, Robert and I went on our first online date last week. HowAboutWe.com, a dating site for singles has launched HowAboutWe for Couples, a subscription service designed specifically for couples.

Each month, you and your boo-cakes receive a new “DateBook” filled with pre-planned, one-of-a-kind experiences in your city. If you’re stuck in a relationship rut of dinners and movies, this is a great way to shakes things up!

For our HowAboutWe for Couples date, Robert and I went to see a show called Restoration Comedy at The Flea. In general, I try not to make Robert go to the theater. We’ve seen broadway shows together and he’s always like *yawn*. But this show sounded different and fun (maybe because the tickets included an open bar) so I made a reservation.

We walked into the theater and were immediately greeted by live music and an interactive cast who made us laugh and asked us questions. While they chatted with us, they regularly brought us yummy cocktails which got the night off to a good start.

The show was funny, entertaining, the intermissions featured more live music and at the end of the show, the theater opened up for a dance party. It was awesome! Here are some of the cast members:

Of course, there are plenty of other options on the HowAboutWe couples site (4 course dinners, walking tours, cooking classes, etc.) and they’re all available for you depending on your city. So, its pretty easy to find something that you and your Honey would like to do.

A HowAboutWe for Couples membership is $22 per month and it gets you: FREE HowAboutWe Dates every month, Sold-out tickets and members-only events, Early booking on HowAboutWe Dates and Couples Rewards.

Dates on HowAboutWe for Couples can also be purchased as a non-Member, without the Member discount and other benefits. For more details, visit HowAboutWe for Couples:

Sometimes I forget that I’ve never dated anyone as long as I’ve dated Robert. Going on a few dates with lots of guys has given me a many experiences (both good and bad) but there’s a lot of new territory that comes with dating the same person for an extended period of time and that’s what I’m navigating these days.

One of Robert’s old coworkers got married recently and he invited me to go with him. Instead of buying a whole new outfit, I wore one of my favorite dresses from LucieLu (I reviewed it a while back here), I purchased some beige heels from Avenue on sale and beige hair accessories from Old Navy, I think I spent like $25 total:

Anyway, It wasn’t until halfway through the night that I realized I’d never been invited to a wedding as someone’s date before. It was kind of a big deal for me. It made me feel… like a “grown up” a little bit! It also became a little bit of a milestone, relationship-wise… it made me feel like Robert and I are in a good place.

As I’ve mentioned before, because Robert and I are in the “slow and steady” lane, its easy for me to look at other relationships zipping by and get ansy. But at the wedding I made sure to just enjoy where he and I are, there were a lot of older couples at our table who had the stresses of life/kids/babysitters/putting gas in the car on their shoulders. Robert and I spent the night laughing, dancing and enjoying each other. Going to the wedding with him was a reminder to just rock out with what we’ve got going and keep looking out for new “firsts”.

Even though I have an entire blog dedicated to my life as a Plus Size Princess, it’s very hard for me to discuss my weight and weight related issues “in real life”. As Robert and I continue to navigate our relationship, I’m realizing more and more that I have to let him in on what I go through as a PSP even though its difficult. I make vague comments to him that are rooted in my insecurities and while I know what I’m talking about, Robert doesn’t and he just thinks I’m being weird.

I read every single comment you guys post on TBGB and the comments on last week’s post made me realize that I have to clue Robert in on the way I feel people, specifically women, react to us as a couple from time to time. When male strangers make comments to us it’s usually a straightforward compliment about me; “lucky guy”, “take care of that one”, “look, its Beyoncé!” etc. When female strangers have opinions, it’s always so subtle and nuanced that explaining it almost makes me feel crazy, even though I know what’s happening.

So the other night on the phone, I put it all on the table with Robert. I talked about the woman on the train, the girl who assumed he was dating someone else even though he was buying my drinks and a few other incidents that I was sensitive about. I can’t remember everything I said, but it went something like this:

“… for whatever reason, people don’t always think we ‘match’ and so they do things that make me uncomfortable. I also think they assume I’m desperate to be with you, even though we both know we could be with other people if we wanted to…” I was stammering to get my point across, but I kept going. “… based on what people have said and done I know they think that I’m WAY more vested in our relationship than you are. So, that makes it hard for me to stand up for what we have… because, if I’m constantly letting people know that we’re together while you sit back quietly, I feel like I’m just feeding into a ‘thirsty big girl trying to keep her man’ image.”

“CeCe, you know I don’t care what people think. I know what it is between us, so those things don’t matter to me,” Robert said.

“I know…”

“But, some of the things you’ve brought up I had no idea were happening… now that I know what bothers you, I’ll probably be more aware of when it happens than you are!”

I smiled into the phone.

“I guess,” Robert continued “I don’t pick up on things like that because it’s not the way I see things. I mean, if people think we don’t ‘match’ I would assume it was mostly because of me…”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Well, you’re like… an heiress-princess type of girl. And I’m like a regular plain guy. You’re always put together and fancy, I’m lucky if my clothes match.”

I was stunned silent. This whole time, I was hurting over the idea that people were thinking what is HE doing with HER? Meanwhile, he just figured everyone wondered what is SHE doing with HIM? I was focused on the negative way people on the outside of my relationship saw me instead of how positively the person on the inside of my relationship saw me.

Does this mean, I’ll never be hurt by another snide remark? No. But I have a whole new perspective on what we’ve got going. Now that Robert and I are on the same page, he has the chance to be more sensitive, while I have a change to grow a thicker skin.

I’m so thankful to you guys for the comments you leave on this blog. A few of your stories are what encouraged me to get out of my own head and talk things through with Robert and I’m glad I did.

xoxo

Thursday night Robert and I were riding the train home after having drinks with his boss. We were tipsy, laughing and being silly. I had been doing the Gangnam Style dance all night and the song was in my head, so I found myself singing “heyyyy sexy lady!” and shaking my hips while holding onto him for balance on the train.

“They’re probably going to play that song at Geo’s wedding next weekend” Robert said, laughing at me.

“Ohhhh you’re right! You need to learn the dance before then so you can do it with me,” I said tapping his chest with my finger,

“I need to learn it, and you need to get better at it,” he said teasing me.

“Excuse me, I can Gangnam Style with the best of ‘em,” I kept dancing in front of him and before I knew it we were having a pretend-argument about just how well I could do the dance.

“Okay, okay!” I took a deep breath between giggles, “on a scale of one-to-ten, how well can I do the dance?”

“On a scale of one-to-ten?” Robert asked, I nodded. “On a scale of one-to-ten… you’re a nine!” he replied in an over the top sweet voice while he stroked my arm.

I pulled away dramatically, “you’re so ridiculous! If I were a nine you would not be suggesting I rehearse this dance…. never mind the fact that you don’t even know the dance!”

We went round and round like this for a few stops. Laughing and teasing and challenging each other about dancing together. I don’t know when she got on, but suddenly I noticed a (skinny) girl across from us listening to our conversation with a smile on her face. Every time Robert made a silly comment, I’d roll my eyes and catch hers to give her a look like “men, sheesh”.

Out of the blue, she walked over to me, “I’m sorry… I can’t take this anymore,” she said. “You are GORGEOUS! you’re a great dancer and don’t let him tell you differently! Don’t let him make you think you’re not a beautiful, gorgeous girl… he’s just a stupid guy… he doesn’t know anything! You are gorgeous, BELIEVE THAT!” then she squeezed my hand and got off of the train.

I stood there thoroughly confused.

As far as I was concerned, I was having a playful fight with the guy I’m seeing about a dumb dance that we might have to do at his friends wedding. But somehow she thought that I was an insecure girl who was being made to feel bad about herself by a guy.

The longer I date Robert, the more I am coming to terms with what people project onto our relationship when they look at us. Because I am a Plus Size Princess and he’s a normal size, tall, attractive dude I’m constantly navigating through the fact that some people don’t think we “match”, like the girl who was shocked when she saw his picture, or last month when Robert was buying my drinks all night and sitting right next to me, but a female asked if a girl three feet away from us was his girlfriend (as if I was just an invisible non-factor).

I think the lady on the train gave me that pep talk because she assumed that I didn’t think I was attractive and she assumed that I was desperate to be with Robert, so I was allowing him treat me badly. I can’t help but wonder if she saw Robert having that same playful argument with like… Kelly Rowland or some model, if she’d feel the need to make the same speech.

I’m just fascinated by what people see/project onto PSP’s with attractive boyfriends.

Thoughts??? Do any of you struggle with this?