Ever since the thermometer rose above 55 degrees I have been annoyed. I like warm weather, I like wearing little dresses and hanging out in the park. What’s annoying me is that when the weather gets warm, all of the couples in New York City decide to come out of hiding.

When the summer comes, suddenly the city is flooded with pairs of people holding hands on the street, cuddling in the subway and dry humping in the park (no, seriously… I’ve seen it and its not cute). I had to wonder where these couples were during the coldest parts of the year. I mean, when I slip on a cute outfit and then cover it up with three layers of clothing just so I can trudge through the snow to meet my friends for a drink, the train is full of small clusters of single people doing the same thing.

Then I realized that couples don’t go out in the winter because they don’t have to! They stay home. Alone. Together.

Maybe that’s why, when they make their warm weather debut, they are beyond excited to rub it in my face show their coupledom to the world. I guess anyone who’s been inside their apartment since November would be a little overzealous to take their love to the streets and in theory I understand that, but as a single girl in New York City, it makes me sick!

The other day I rode the 2 train from 14th to 72nd street sitting across from a couple who was happy just to play with each others fingers and a fit of rage (and maybe jealousy) took over me. I found their simple affection nauseating and unnecessary even though I love love! I’m happy when my friends find someone and when I see people making each other happy. But these first few weeks of warm weather have been brutal for a girl who isn’t in a relationship.

I had to ask myself if it was the couples that were annoying me or the fact that I’m not in a relationship that’s driving me nuts. I have to be honest, I think its the latter. If given the chance, I would probably be one half of an obnoxious summer couple in a heart beat (minus the dry-humping, ’cause that’s just weird). After all, I shave my legs every other day during the summer and it would be nice to know that at some point someone was going to touch them.

As I mentioned before, my Miami trip was my first “grown up” vacay. Instead of travelling with family, I was meeting up with girlfriends and I was pretty stoked. (It almost felt like my first time at sleep-away camp as a child.) I was in the LaGuardia Airport waiting for my flight when I passed a sign that simply said, “Life’s Good”.

Sometimes I get so focused on the things that I’m not: I’m not skinny enough, I’m not making enough money, I’m not in a relationship… So, I decided in the moment that “Life’s Good” would be a personal mantra for me during my trip. I needed to remind myself that, in spite of all the things that I’ve yet to accomplish, life really is good.

We decided to stay at the Miami Beach Resort & Spa because that’s where the wedding party was staying. I didn’t put much thought into it, the website looked nice and when I made the reservation over the phone, customer service was really helpful, but I was staying there mostly out of convenience.

I was the first of my girlfriends to arrive and when I checked into our room it was around 2am so it was very dark. I opened the curtains to my room and could see the pool glowing a soft purple but that was about it. I unpacked, took a shower and went to bed not knowing what a gift our room was.

A few hours later the sunlight woke me up and as I rolled over, the view from my window took my breath away. Our floor to ceiling windows were filled completely with the beach and the brilliant blue ocean.

Life is good, I thought to myself with a smile.

Within the hour, my girlfriends all arrived from California, Chicago and North Carolina, respectively. They checked in, we had breakfast in our room and then we threw on our swimsuits and headed downstairs. There was a small path from the pool area straight onto the beach, so we were there in no time and we spent the early afternoon talking, making business calls from the sand and playing in the waves. I’m not sure why laying around on the beach made us so hungry, but after a couple of hours we were ready for lunch (and drinks). We sat at the hotels outdoor cafe and Elida, who became my favorite waitress, brought us yummy sandwiches, quesadillas, chicken fingers (and drinks).

As much as I hate to admit it, my weight is always a nagging issue in the back of my head. I’m so proud of myself for going parasailing and walking around in a swimsuit, but the reality is that for a fleeting moment I considered not taking this trip because Miami is a beach city and I’m no where near my goal weight. But from the time I saw that “Life’s Good” sign, I felt like there were constant reminders that life is meant to be enjoyed, period. There are so many things in this world to experience and if we miss out on them because of how we look… we’re crazy!

Coming up from the beach and lunch, I was looking out my window and I saw a group of young girls huddled together in the kiddie pool. It was such a simple and sweet moment and for me it was a great testament to the range of people, single girls, families, honeymooners… and a Plus Size Princess who were taking a moment to recognize that Life’s Good.

I guess I’m writing this post to encourage my PSP’s to get out and do the things you want to do. Find a way to make it happen! I’m definitely on a budget, but the four of us were able to have a luxurious four day experience at the Miami Beach Resort & Spa with their friendly, attentive staff for about $150 per person (and that includes a few meals charged to the room!)

If there’s something you want to experience, don’t make your weight an excuse not to do it… okay?

Life’s Good!

http://www.miamibeachresortandspa.com/

I’ve been getting lots of messages from TBGB Facebook Fans asking when I’m going to do a giveaway on Facebook. So… today is the day!

I did a Fashionably Ever After post about LucieLu, a new plus size brand that I’m loving right now and LucieLu was kind enough to provide two $50 gift cards to her store!

LuceLu Summer by thebiggirlblog featuring Forever21 jewelry

In Miami, I wore the Eau Claire dress as a summer look (above) and got lots of compliments!

Now, before we move forward with this contest, I have to say that the TBGB fans on Twitter get really hyped about giveaways and contests. They Tweet, ReTweet and Tweet again when they want to win something, so Facebook Fans you’ve got a high bar set for you, but I know you’re in it to win it!

Here’s how the contest will go:

1.) Become a fan (or “like”) The Big Girl Blog on Facebook

2.) Become a fan (or “like”) LucieLu on Facebook

3.) Update your status with this phrase: “I follow @The Big Girl Blog & @LucieLu because I’m a Plus Size Princess who loves fashion!“

***Make sure you use the “@” so that we’re both tagged in your post*** …and voila! you’re entered to win one of TWO $50 gift cards to LucieLu.

Ready? Set? Go!

Over the weekend I was laying out in the sand with my girlfriends and we were talking about men and dating in general when one of my friends casually mentioned that she didn’t have any dating horror stories. I’ve been back for a few days now, but can’t stop thinking about what she said because lately I feel like I have nothing but dating horror stories.

Remember the guy who told me that he lived in a shelter? Well, upon further questioning I found out that not only was he homeless, he’d been a working homeless person for over three years. And if that wasn’t enough; he explained that because of his lack of stability, very few women want to deal with him (duh!) and so he sometimes turns to Transgendered men/women when he needs *ahem* …affection.

I’ll give you a minute to let all of that sink in.

When I found all of this out I immediately called my best friend, Adam. “Oh my gosh, CeCe!” he laughed, “Why does this stuff always happen to you?” I wanted to laugh too, but I couldn’t. I started to wonder why this guy (knowing all of his issues and baggage) saw me on the crosstown bus and thought I would be the type of girl who would date him. Could it be that he looked at me, with my yellow dress and my hair curled for the Easter holiday and thought to himself …that looks like a girl who wouldn’t mind dating a Homeless Tranny Chaser!

I mean, he didn’t even bother to lie to me, he laid all of this garbage out within 72 hours of getting my phone number and when I told him I truly wasn’t interested in talking to him anymore, he had the nerve to say “you know, with the right woman by my side I could really turn my life around…”

I’ve heard guys talk about women being “out of their league” for a variety of reasons like looks, profession or family background so I know they think about these things. I am a pretty open person. I’ve dated white collar and blue collar guys. I’ve dated men with and without degrees. I’ve dated men who had nice things and men who were struggling. I don’t walk around thinking I’m too good for anyone, but this is a case where I feel like he should have known that I was out of his league because until he addresses his homelessness and his attraction to women with a “little something extra” every girl in New York City is out of his league.

A man (protected by the veil of anonymity) left this comment on one of my posts the other day: as a tall man who takes care of his appearance (and teeth!) I just can’t take seriously a women who is overweight…I would never ever date a women who is overweight… poor men date overweight women, attractive men with means chose the hot ones. Is it my weight? Did he see me and think that because I’m a big girl I would be desperate enough to accept his lifestyle?

I have a couple of women I like to call my “Blogging Big Sisters” and I reached out to two of them for their take. They’re both beautiful New York City women and weight isn’t something they struggle with, so I thought maybe they’d give me their answers to my question: Are The Men I Attract a Reflection of… Me? Here’s what they said (you can read more on their blogs)

HowVeryLucky says: This is a topic I have been muddling over from the moment I received my very first e-mail communication upon re-entry to the online dating world. My profile hadn’t been up for twenty minutes before Summerskirts had written me. He was a married cross-dresser in search of a “special friend”. At first I take this all in stride. But over time, it starts to feel defeating. It becomes hard to keep your head above water. To remember all the wonderful things about yourself. You recite your mantra – if you have one (which I don’t, but OK) – I’m smart, pretty, gainfully employed, funny and, in a nutshell, a great catch. So why are the only guys playing the outfield (or even the infield for that matter) men that I would never consider dating? In the mirror of Internet dating, am I the reflection staring back at Mr. Too Old For Me Suburban Mom-Jeans? Suddenly I start to feel like my blue book value just went down by the thousands. I feel sad and disappointed and undesirable. And then I realize something else. Maybe it’s not a mirror. Maybe instead it’s a portrait or a work of art. Rather than allowing it to make me feel badly, I should be flattered that these men find me attractive and interesting enough to write, even though they’re not at all who I want. (read more here)

KB_IN_NYC says: Are the men I attract a reflection of….me? In a word, yes. But also….no. Let me explain. I believe wholeheartedly in the notion that what we put out is what we get back, and this is no different when it comes to attracting people. I seem to do pretty well (if I do say so myself) when it comes to friends, business relationships etc. The sticking point, as always, is dating and men. Two nights ago I went on a date. I wasn’t overly excited about it but we ended up having a really good time; he got a bottle of great wine, we ordered cheese, drank champagne. It really was all I could’ve asked for but still, I’m like Uhm. Not sure. I also discovered he has a hairy back (which is so a story for another time). Thing is I hate hairy backs, like completely hate them. And then I start to think, holy crap is this man with a hairy back a reflection of me? I’m kidding about the hairy back (kind of), but I think you get my point. We have a lot of stories that we tell ourselves, and it’s hard not to get despondent when we are not attracting the people that we would like, or feel we deserve. But, if I step back – if I stop with the voices and the self doubt – I know that I am not the sum total of the men who want to date me (or at least I hope to hell I’m not). Sure, maybe I’m attracting experiences that I don’t want but that’s more about me than them, isn’t it? (read more here)

Both of my Blogging Big Sisters bring up some good points and although I’m obviously still struggling with this, its nice to know that these things aren’t just happening to CeCe, The Big Girl.

To be honest, I think my ego is bruised. For me when the dating “mess” hits the fan, it always comes back to my weight. I start to tell myself that these things wouldn’t happen if I were thin. But maybe I should consider that maybe these “bottom feeder” types have nothing to lose so they’re just more forward and outrageous and therefore I encounter them more… but I don’t know.

Thoughts???

On my last post I said I “might” be going parasailing. That “might” wasn’t because I was unsure of the event taking place, the “might” was because I wasn’t sure if my size would get in the way of my parasailing experience.

Parasailing is something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and I figured Miami would be the best place to try it out. I can be a little anxious about things and I started having visions of me standing on the beach being told that I was too big to be flown over the ocean. Even though I did lots of research to make sure my weight wouldn’t be an issue, I still had nagging thoughts that it wouldn’t work out.

I called two parasailing companies and Miami Beach Parasail was the one that seemed to really have it together. The guy I spoke to on the phone was quite helpful and their website answered a lot of my questions, so I decided to use them.

My girlfriend Lucia said she wanted to come along so we made our way down Collins avenue from our hotel to the beach behind the Lowes hotel where Miami Beach Parasail is based. As we approached the big red umbrellas under which we could sign up to sail, my heart started beating faster in my chest. Here were my top three fears:

• The parasail staff would be rude/make me uncomfortable
• There wouldn’t be a life jacket that fit me
• I wouldn’t be able to participate because of my size

We were immediately greeted by Camille, who gave us waivers to sign and took care of our package arrangement. Camille was super friendly, talking to us while we waited for our turn and easing us of our fears, “I still get nervous even though I’ve done it a million times, you’ll be fine though!” she told us with a smile. A few minutes later it was our turn to go up. We stripped down to our bathing suits (good thing I had gotten more comfortable with that) and one of the boat operators handed me a life jacket. I slipped it on and he helped me zip it up with no problems (whew!).

Once we were suited up, it was time to go out into the ocean. They led two other girls, Lucia and myself into a small speed boat where we sat on the outer edge and held onto the ropes so that we wouldn’t flip off into the ocean. Lucia and I were both silent with nerves as our boat skipped over the waves like speed bumps. A few minutes later our smaller boat pulled along side a larger one where the parachute was floating hundreds of feet above. The waves threatened to knock us off balance as we climbed onto the deck of the bigger boat, but we made it.

Lucia and I let the other girls go first and as they floated above the ocean we started talking to Kyle, one of the parasail operators. Kyle was hilarious and talking to him helped me forget I was scared. When I told him I was going to write about this in a blog for plus size girls, he asked if he could say “hello” to you all, so here he is! (cute, right?)

After our impromptu photo shoot, Kyle pulled out the harnesses so that he could attach us to the actual parachute/rope contraption when it was our turn. We stepped into the leg harness like pants and then he clipped it around our waist. Again, I was nervous that things wouldn’t fit, but everything slid on easily. Soon it was time to go into the air. Lucia and I giggled nervously as we sat on the nose of the boat and before we knew it we were floating in the air. Being on the boat you feel the waves and motion of the ocean, but when you’re parasailing its the most calming thing. Its indescribable. Lucia and I went silent again, this time because we were in awe of what we were experiencing.

We spent a really long time in the sky and they took pictures of us (that’s me up in the air!)

Right before they reeled us back on the boat, they lowered us into the ocean, dipping us into the water up to our waists. When we got back onto the boat, Lucia and I could not stop grinning. “How was it?” Kyle asked. “Um… AWESOME!” I replied and I meant it. Parasailing was the highlight of my vacation, and all of my fears about doing something extreme as a Plus Size Princess were gone.

• The Miami Beach Parasail team was phenominal, friendly and they made the experience even more fun
• Miami Beach Parasail had equipment for people of all sizes
• My size/weight was not an issue at all!

As I was unpacking last night, I got a text from Lucia that said I can’t believe we went parasailing! the fact that we’re both thinking and talking about it days later speaks volumes about the experience.

What do you think? Would any of you consider parasailing?

www.miamibeachparasail.com/

I woke up this morning and the beautiful view from my hotel room was calling my name. As a California girl, a good beach is one of the best things on earth to me, so I couldn’t wait to go out. I lathered on some sunscreen threw on my bathing suit, a maxi dress and headed downstairs with my girlfriends.

The Miami Beach Resort & Spa has a beautiful patio with a swimming pool and a private path that leads to the beach. We grabbed the complimentary beach towels and made our way onto the sand. As much as I love my new SwimSuitsForAll bathing suit, I still have apprehensions about walking around in a bathing suit but I looked around and saw women of all sizes proudly walking around in the sun and it made me feel more at ease.

In my mind Miami was a place for girls with tiny waists and fake boobies and I wasn’t sure how I’d feel as a PSP to be in a place like this. There was one woman with her family and she had to be at least a size 20 but she was wearing a teeny-tiny bikini! I thought to myself, if she can be proud of her belly, surely I can take off this maxi dress and wade into the water. We stayed on the beach for a few hours and then we made our way to the pool so that we could have a drink from the hotel poolside bar and listen to the band that was playing.

My friend Jaslin and I decided to take a dip in the pool, while Jaslin is very petite she has big (natural) boobies like I do. As we bobbed around in the pool laughing and talking, an older Caribbean man walked by and looked down at us, “I love women with beautiful smiles…” he said, pointing at us.

“Thanks” we replied in unison.

“And,” he said “I like women with a big– (he motioned to his chest)”. We both gasped in shock and then he gave us a wink “HEART!”

It was so ridiculously funny that I couldn’t even be offended. As the morning went on I got more and more comfortable in the beach/pool environment and I even made a quick run up to my hotel room wearing just my bathing suit and no cover-up which was a big deal for me.

Anyway, I wanted to check in… I’m sorry I didn’t post yesterday, my friends wedding was yesterday and I got caught up in all the wedding activities. Keep your fingers crossed, I think I’m going to go parasailing today!

I’ll keep you posted!

xoxo