Last night, in an effort to save money… I did my own laundry.

*gasp*

I know.

Before you judge, let me say that New York is made up of two kinds of people; those who do their own laundry and those who send it out. You have to remember that having a washer and dryer in an NYC apartment is unheard of and having laundry in your building is something you cross your fingers for. All of this means that for a city dweller, laundry can easily become the most time consuming chore of the week. Which makes sending laundry out a very easy habit to start.

Since moving into my new apartment, where going to the nearest laundromat means dragging my clothes four blocks north and one avenue east, I have been making a regular phone call to have a very nice man come at 8am to pick up my huge laundry bag. When I get home in the evening, he drops it off at my apartment clean, folded and fresh (yup, they deliver… everything in New York delivers).

So, last night as I was schlepping my bright pink laundry bag down the street I began to think… when I send this bag out they weigh it at 40 pounds, hmmm.

As I carried my 40 pound bag of laundry back up the stairs to my apartment, I was really winded. I usually trot up my single flight of stairs easily, but the extra 40 pounds made it harder.

The extra 40 pounds made it harder…hmmm.

Even though I don’t struggle with things like going up the stairs at my current weight, I could stand to loose more than my share of laundry bags. I cant help but wonder how much easier things would be if I was 40 pounds lighter.

I thought about how good it felt to drop the heavy laundry bag onto the floor near my bed. How good would it feel to drop that heaviness from my body?

hmmm.

I haven’t been on the scale in 10 days, but I know I’ve gained weight. I haven’t been eating as well as I should and life has gotten in the way of me working out. In the past I’ve mentioned my tendency to gain and loose the same ten pounds and I really don’t want to do that again.

I cant do that again.

I’ve looked at everything and I really feel like I could loose 25 pounds by Christmas. Its not a full laundry bag, but its something. So, this is me telling you that I’m back on track. I ate well today and during the 90 minutes while my laundry washed and dried I went power walking around my neighborhood instead of flipping through a magazine.

I’m going to weigh myself at the end of the week and hopefully I haven’t gained as much weight as I think….

I’ll keep you posted.

Let me begin by saying that I love dating.

I love the awkwardness of being asked out, I love saying yes, I love the anticipation of a date night, the excitement of choosing an outfit and I love spending a few hours with someone new who is focused on getting to know me and then seeing what happens.

As someone who often learns a lot about people just by listening to them talk, one of my pet peeves in dating is when the date turns into an interview. I hate when it becomes obvious that a guy has a set list of questions that he asks every girl. But I find that this is happening more and more… so I have compiled a list of The Five Most Annoying Questions in Dating.

I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that I hear over and over again:

Number five…

What do you do for fun?

Okay, I get it– you’re trying to get a feel for my interests, but I can assure you, I don’t categorize my life’s events under “fun” or “not fun”. I’ve never called my girlfriends and said “do you want to go have some fun?” So a question like that, to me, is very strange.

The other day Robert and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond because I wanted new curtains. They didn’t have what I was looking for, but we ended up spending a ridiculous amount of time in the store doing random things like sitting in the massage chairs talking and carefully selecting the perfect lint roller. We had a blast, but if I told someone that I go to Bed Bath and Beyond “for fun”, they would look at me like I was nuts.

I guess for me, it’s not what you’re doing; but who you’re with that makes life fun.

Number Four…

What kind of guys do you like?

As a PSP of course I’ve wondered if guys who have been interested in me have dated big girls before, but I also know that finding out all of his exes are Beyonce lookalikes wont do anything but make me self-conscious. So, I dont ask. But I know that when the time is right, and if its relevant to our relationship… I’ll find out.

Why does it matter what kind of guys I’ve dated in the past? If you have me on an actual date, there’s one reason I’m there… You. So, if my last 12 boyfriends were NBA players and you happen to be 5’1, that’s irrelevant. Even if all of my exes happened to be loud and arrogant and you’re quiet and humble, its irrelevant. If the kind of guys I usually go for were what I needed, I would still be with them, so do us both a favor and give me space to discover something new in you.

It’s like they say: If you always do what you’ve always done; you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

Number Three…

Do you live alone?

Usually, when I’m asked this question I will respond “why do you ask?” to which the guy will say “I was just wondering…” But let’s be real, when a guy is inquiring about your living situation it’s probably because he’s trying to gauge how soon it will be before he’s in your apartment and more importantly your bedroom.

(The funny thing is, guys assume that girls who live with roommates won’t be as quick to invite them over. But I’ve definitely heard all of my previous roommates having sex at one point or another.)

This question just shows that a man is calculating how soon we’ll be hooking up, which is just tacky.

Number Two…

So… you like ________ guys?

This question is a little different from “what kind of guys do you like?” I mostly hear this question when I’m dating interracially:

So… you like Asian guys?
So… you like Indian guys?

I’ve also heard it once when talking to a guy who was overweight:

So… you like big guys?

Maybe my issue is just that I don’t like stupid questions. If you are Asian and I’ve agreed to go on a date with you, isn’t it a safe bet that your race isn’t important to me? I’m not going to go out with an Asian guy only to tell him “No, I do not like Asian guys.”

Why make me state the obvious?

And finally, Number One…

So, why are you single?

*deep sigh*

This question is #1 because it is so ridiculous!

My typical answer to this is pretty literal “I’m single because I don’t have a boyfriend.” To which the person who’s asked the question usually realizes how silly the question is. Then they all reply with the same predictable response “Well, its just that you’re so beautiful—I’m surprised no one has snatched you up yet.”

Right.

I don’t think guys realize that it sounds like an accusation. Why are you single? Why can’t you get a man? How come no one wants you?

Again, I ask; what am I supposed to say to that? I mean, should I say “I’m single because I refused to sleep with the last guy I dated after six weeks”? or I could say “I’m single because the last guy I was interested in wasn’t attracted to a woman of my size”, maybe I should scare them off and say “I’m single because I tend to stalk the men I go out with if they dont call me”. I dont know….

What I do know is, I hate this question with a passion.

The crazy thing is– when men ask “why are you single?”, they all are expecting the same answer. You see I’ve gotten so very tired of this question that I’ve started to probe every man who uses it. I’ll ask, “What do you think is a good answer for a question like that?” and 100% of the time, these men offer the same response: “I just haven’t found the right one yet.”

So, if this is a script that has been played through a million times with no variety, why do they continue? And am I a bad date if I dont want to deliver predictable lines?

Anyway, these are my top five, what bad/offensive/awkward questions have YOU been asked?

Having read through your entire blog in one sitting, you’re an excellent writer and you come across as a level-headed person — but what is up with this phrase “Plus Size Princess”? Are slim women “Regular Size Princesses”?

Plus Size Commoner

Hi “Plus Size Commoner”,

I agree with you about the term BBW (Big Beautiful Woman), BBW never resonated with me. In general, it seems a little forced. I shouldn’t have to remind someone that I am beautiful… should I?

That said, I didn’t intend for PSP to be a replacement term for BBW.

“Princess” is a term that I’ve identified with since birth (blame my parents!). When I coined the expression “Plus Size Princess”, it was a comfortable way of describing myself to my readers. I wanted to be very specific with you guys about the type of girl that I am, because I often feel that people are quick to strip overweight women of their femininity.

Media images of big people farting and being vulgar or big women chasing and forcing themselves on the men that they want are all over the place, so people assume that’s how all fat people are. Whether its a man thinking they can jump on my back, hitting me a little too hard on the arm or saying things like “c’mon, you’re tough!” as a big girl, I’m always fighting the expectation people have of me to be pushy, abrasive, overly sexual… almost masculine.

These stereotypes are the opposite of who I am and I found that “Plus Size Princess” was a simple way for me to express that. “Princess” makes me think of being girly, soft, demure, feminine, etc. Sadly, these aren’t words that one would typically associate with a fat chick.

When I began referring to myself as a Plus Size Princess/PSP on the blog, something interesting happened. I noticed that my readers adopted the phrase too. I would see “PSP” peppered in the emails that I received and in the comments on TBGB. That was really surprising to me, but I figured there had to be a reason. One day it hit me; maybe PSP is more empowering than BBW.

So often as big women we’re tempted to settle. We fall into a “beggars cant be choosers” mentality and we don’t hold our lives to the same standards that other women do.

I think recognizing that being fat doesn’t diminish you as a person is a very important thing. Requiring a certain level of respect and love, first from yourself and then from the people around you is a lesson we all can learn. The PSP treatment will look different for all of us, it could be anything from getting out of a bad relationship, to starting a journal. It could be as simple as getting a pedicure or taking a yoga class for the first time. Taking care of ourselves, treating ourselves as princesses and surrounding ourselves with people who to do the same can’t be a bad thing.

At the end of the day, PSP is just a reminder of what I already know: I am a princess, who happens to be plus size.

xoxo,
CeCe

P.S. Messages like this are why I love my readers. I’m always surprised that people are actually reading what I post and when you all chime in with your thoughts, opinions and challenging questions, it makes me stop and think about the things I say. All of that makes this blogging experience even cooler, so thank you.

Send your questions to nycece@gmail.com

Hello Lovelies,

You know I love clothes and I love my readers, so why not combine my two loves and give my readers some clothes!

Lee jeans has an awesome plus size denim line (size 16-26) I have a pair and I “heart” them….

We’re giving away the first five pairs of jeans via Twitter, so “follow” TBGB there for more details!

www.twitter.com/thebiggirlblog

xoxo