Hello Lovelies,

I’m getting really excited…

When I started TBGB, I never imagined that people would actually read it, so seeing your comments has always been a pleasant surprise. Then Twitter came along and its enabled me to get to know a lot of you beyond our discourse here, which has been awesome. (side note: I see all of your profile photos and you are an attractive bunch!)

I love tweeting back and forth with you and giving you more insight on my day to day life. As of this moment, I have 946 people who follow me on Twitter which means that TBGB is approaching 1,000 followers.

One. Thousand. Followers! I can’t believe it…

I think reaching 1,000 followers would be a reason to celebrate, don’t you?

Once TheBigGirlBlog reaches 1,000 followers I’m going to shower you all with giveaways so start Tweeting and tell all of your fellow PSP’s to follow @thebiggirlblog. There will be giveaways for Skinnies too so tell your Non-PSP friends to follow @thebiggirlblog and I’m working on a giveaway for guys so tell your PSPrince friends to (you guessed it) follow @thebiggirlblog.

I wont spill the beans on everything I have planned, but I will say that the first giveaway will be a $50 gift card to Lane Bryant! And that’s just the beginning….

I’ll never be able to express how much I appreciate you all, but here’s a small way for me to show my gratitude.

xoxo
CeCe
www.twitter.com/thebiggirlblog

P.S. If you become a fan of The Big Girl Blog: Tales of a Plus Size Princess in New York City on Facebook, your chances to win will be doubled

When I was a little girl, I came home one day and announced that our family needed to have an emergency plan for our home. I sat with my parents and mapped out escape routes, a meeting place and different contingency plans based on horrifying variables (fire, earthquake, intruders etc.) that we prayed would never happen. As an adult, I’ve adopted this same practice, but instead of life threatening disasters, I’ve applied it to fashion emergencies. Before you write me off as completely crazy, let me explain:

In New York City, there’s an Ann Taylor or Gap or random clothing store on every corner. So if a (skinny) girl spills coffee down her white blouse an hour before an important meeting, she can zip over to one of those stores, find something in her size and be back to work in no time. But what if a PSP has a catastrophic fashion emergency? The nearest store that might actually carry her size could be 10, 20… or even 50 blocks away!

Because of this, every time I start a new job I develop a fashion emergency plan in case “something” goes wrong. When I worked near Grand Central I felt the safest. There was a Lane Bryant, Macy’s and an Old Navy within 10 minutes of my office (five minutes in a taxi) and there was also a random store called Strawberry on the same block as my office where I could usually find plus size basics.

When I moved to a new job in the Financial District I would casually explore different stores on my lunch break. There was a Dress Barn and a Strawberry but when I went in they informed me that I’d have to go further uptown to find a branches of their stores with a plus size department. With my apartment being a 45 minute train ride from my office, I began to wonder if I should put a spare outfit in my desk drawer just in case. Mind you, I have never had a fashion emergency that required me to buy something new during work hours and to be honest, I didn’t know what would qualify as such an emergency. But the fact that I didn’t have options made me nervous, so I kept looking.

A few weeks in, I remembered that Century 21 had a plus size department! I made my way over one day and was relieved to see a decent array of tops, dresses, jeans and slacks in my size. I didn’t buy anything, but I could breathe easier knowing that new, clean clothes were a five minute walk from where I worked.

My contingency plan was set.

Fast Forward a year later to… yesterday. I had on a black dress that hit just above the knee, a cardigan, pearls, knee-high boots and a pair of black tights. I went to the ladies room and when I pulled my tights up I realized that there was a huge gaping hole in the inner thigh. This hole was the size of a softball and it had snags and runs coming from all directions which meant it was only going to get bigger. If there was a time to flip into fashion emergency mode: this was it.

I grabbed my purse, threw on my coat and ran to Century 21 where my plan was to get a pair of leggings that I’d seen in the plus size section the last time I was there. I pushed my way through the tourists, up the escalator and just when I was about to turn towards the 3rd floor plus size department, I saw this:

Yup.

See that long piece of tape? Underneath it are the words “Plus Sizes”. The plus size section at Century 21 is closed. My fashion emergency plan was ruined. My heart sank as I felt the snag in my tights creep a little farther down my thigh.

So much for being prepared!

I was reading your comments from my first post on this and while there were a number of different opinions, they all made sense to me in their own ways. A few examples:

The EyeZuh said “I’m a firm believer that we shouldn’t generalize… maybe he just really REALLY likes you… even through your slight “mood” that morning that’s why he asked you to lunch… in hopes of making u feel better! btw… did u go?”

Gina said “y’know… as much as men complain about how difficult we are, and all that, I think they are as guilty of liking The Bad Girl as we are of being attracted to Bad Boys.”

FatGirlsOpinion said “I think (men) just want what they cant have.”

I can rationalize this situation with those opinions and some of the others that were left on the last post (p.s. I didn’t go to lunch with him, but I did let him bring me something back). To be perfectly honest, when I first mentioned Daniel, I didn’t think he would warrant a second post. I assumed he would eventually understand that I wasn’t interested and move on. But, he’s still at it!

He continues to come by to annoy flirt with me and every b*tchy thing I do to deter him seems to be working against me. I understand a guy “wanting what he cant have” etc. but I’m not being cute or coy. I wish you all were here to see how little attention I give to Daniel (especially in comparison to how I act towards Robert). As I mentioned last week, this guy doesn’t really make conversation and he cracks the same corny “jokes” every time he comes by my desk. He’s a good guy, but engaging him takes too much work on my part and that’s not fun for me.

I really thought I was doing a good job of “shutting him down” when he didn’t stop by my desk on Wednesday or Thursday. But then Friday afternoon, he parked himself in front of my desk. As he asked me vague questions like “what’s goin’ on?”, “are you glad its Friday?” etc. I didn’t let my eyes leave my computer screen, I gave him one word answers and I barely grunted at his (bad) jokes. But ten minutes later he was still there! When I would say funny/rude things to him, he’d laugh, start to walk away but then he’d come back to ask me another random question.

After a while I figured if I stayed quiet, maybe he’d leave. For a few seconds, he didn’t say anything either, but instead of leaving, he started shuffling his feet and pacing around my desk. My stomach got tight. The way he was acting looked familiar but I couldn’t place it. Then it hit me: This is exactly how Robert used to act when he first started asking me out… this can not be happening! I could hear Daniel take a deep breath.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” he said.

“I’m going to dinner with a friend,” (“friend” = Robert, but he didn’t need to know that).

“Cool… cool…” Daniel continued to shuffle his feet, “Well, I was thinking about going to a beer tasting on Saturday. I don’t know if that’s something you’d be into….”

“That sounds like fun, but I’m not a beer drinker,” I replied. (Which is the truth, I hate beer) “But have fun, let me know how it goes.”

“Cool, I will” he replied and with that he finally left.

I’m at such a loss here. I feel like if I’m friendly, Daniel is going to take it the wrong way, but when I’m a b*tch he still takes it the wrong way. This all happened this past Friday, so maybe things will be different this week….

Hello Lovelies,

As you’ve probably noticed, eShakti is one of my favorite clothing stores right now. They’re doing a contest where you can win up to $250 in store credit by putting their brand into your own words!

You have till March 31st to enter, so lets go! You can win:

1.) A Grand Prize: $250 gift card

2.) One of 25, yes TWENTY-FIVE $50 gift cards

And there’s a guaranteed $10 gift card for every entrant!

The details are here make sure you fill out the form, and let them know that you’re a TBGB reader… Happy Shopping!

xoxo,
CeCe

P.S. Tell your (skinny) friends too, this line carries size 0-26 and can do custom fittings for size 28+

With my lent sacrifice I know that some weight has come off, but when it comes to exercising I’ve fallen off the wagon, hard.

I looked at my calendar last Friday and realized that my Miami vacation was in six weeks (eek!) and it was clear that I needed to get back on the wagon quickly.

Yesterday morning I packed my gym bag so that I could swim laps after work. Swimming is my favorite way to burn lots of calories efficiently and as a California girl I was basically raised in the water, so its a work out that I really enjoy.

I got to the gym and was devastated to see a sign on the elevator door:

The Pool is Closed Today,
Sorry for any Inconvenience.

Inconvenience? Didn’t they know that I was starting my own personal boot camp today?! I took a deep breath and sat on a bench outside the locker rooms as I tried to figure out my next steps. Even though I’d brought gym clothes with me to change into after my swim, I couldn’t work out on a machine because the only shoes I had were heels and flip flops.

I started to gather my bags and head home when it hit me. Gym clothes and no shoes were the perfect outfit for yoga! The studio where I take classes was 15 blocks away and there was a class in 30 minutes. I rushed uptown to the studio, rented a mat, changed clothes and slipped into my class with five minutes to spare. It was a really vigorous class and I was so glad that I didn’t skip a work out all together.

As I predicted on Twitter, I woke up this morning well rested and feeling great. So great, that I pushed my back my plans for this evening so that I could get a 45 minute walk in before hand.

Just thought I’d share….

Yesterday I decided to get my hair blown out and straightened (not the smartest decision considering its raining today, but whatever.) The woman who does my hair moved to a unisex hair salon in Harlem, so I made my way over to see her.

It was a Sunday and the place was more or less empty. I was on one end of the salon getting my hair done and on the other end a barber stood by watching another barber cut his clients hair. I didn’t pay much attention to them until I needed to go to the ladies room.

I had to walk between the three men in order to get the the bathroom. As I approached them, I became slightly self conscious because the back of my hair was bone straight, while the front was a curly mess on the top of my head. “Excuse me,” I said as I slipped between the two barbers. “No problem, darling…” one of them said giving me a grin.

When I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and had to slip past them again. The men went completely silent and I could feel three sets of eyes on me. Even the guy getting his hair cut, who had his back to me, found a way to check me out in the mirrors reflection. Then one of the men said something that I couldn’t hear and the other two grunted in agreement, “…see you’re my kinda dude,” one of the barbers said. “I was thinking the same damn thing!”

Making my way back to my chair, I wanted so badly to know what was said, since it obviously pertained to me. Were they talking about my unruly hair? Or perhaps something else… Although I couldn’t see who was saying what, I kept my ears peeled as they continued to talk on the other side of the room. As the conversation swelled I heard things like:

“Mmm a big woman, that’s me right there. I really don’t like them skinny. Not super fat either. But Big? That’s sexy”

“I dated a big girl once… she was big but real pretty” I bet her $100 she couldn’t lose 20 pounds in a month. She said she could, but then she ate up all the food in my house!”

“Yeah, its hard for them, cause they’re bodies are fighting against them, they just want to eat…”

“…But you know one thing? Those big girls… They give good head and they’re p*ssy is always tight because guys don’t really mess with them too much…”

Although I thought the conversation was over the top and slightly nauseating. I have to admit it was educational. In my mind, being plus size is the least interesting thing about me, but for the rest of the world (and for men in particular) its the thing they’re most interested in. Having a body that carries extra weight means that I carry the burden of stigma, mystique and myth that I can’t escape. Men will draw conclusions about me before I even open my mouth. Men will approach me assuming that I’m over-sexed, under-sexed and everything in between.

Because of this I often feel robbed of the privilege to just be a girl. My guard stays up longer than it should as I try to figure out if men are interested in Celeste, or if they just want to know if this big girl will do the things big girls are known to do: take care of her man, cook well, be freaky in the bedroom… and apparently have a “tight p*ssy” due to lack of desirability/experience.

I almost made this a rant, but I felt like doing that would discount all of the men who walk in public with their plus size princesses and think nothing of it. I’ve dated men like this, men who actually saw “me”, but for a multitude of other reasons, they haven’t been what I needed/was looking for. Of course, getting super skinny would also solve this issue, but I’m pretty sure I will never be a waif which means that as a PSP I may have to sift through more men with this “barber shop” mentality before I find The One. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

I’m not sure how many men read TBGB, but I would love to hear from both girls and guys on this one… Thoughts?

I am a classic flirt. Hair twirling, giggling, eyelash batting… that’s me. But lately, I’ve found myself in the middle of a compare/contrast experiment that has me second guessing the way I interact with men.

There are two guys in my office, Robert and Daniel. Robert needs no introduction. Daniel is a new development. Daniel is nice, tall, kinda cute… but he’s boring! Basically, I’m not interested. When Robert stops by my desk, we talk easily. When Daniel comes by, he obviously wants to talk (and in the beginning I tried, I really did!) But a conversation with Daniel falls flat pretty quickly. I’ll say something and instead of adding his thoughts, he says “I hear ya’” and he doesn’t make actual conversation (i.e. what did you do this weekend?) instead he asks vague questions like “what’s going on?” which I find annoying. A typical conversation with Daniel goes like this:

Daniel: What’s going on?

Me: Nothing much. (My fingers clicking over my keyboard).

Daniel: Cool… Cool. (He leans on my desk). You workin’ hard, or hardly workin’?

Me: *Deep Sigh* Shouldn’t I be asking you that?

Daniel: (laughs) You know I just like to bother you, right?

Me: (fake laugh) Yeah, I know.

Daniel: Alright, I’m going to leave you alone now. (He walks away)

These types of interactions have been going on for a while now, and last Thursday, I was just not in the mood. It was 9:30am, I was busy and instead of my usual fake laugh, I gave Daniel a blank stare and asked (semi-jokingly) “are you still here?” Daniel said something like “Ouch!” before walking away with a chuckle.

Around 11am, Robert came by my desk to tell me something. I happened to let out a small giggle (and maybe I tossed my hair) right as Daniel passed my desk. I felt so guilty for chatting it up with Robert after being such a b*tch to Daniel. I decided that maybe I should apologize to Daniel before the end of the day, but at 1pm Daniel called… and offered to buy me lunch!

Its like, the more I try to shut down the situation with Daniel, the more it gets pushed to the next level.

Is it true what they say… do men really love bitches?

For those of you who have been wondering, yup… Kevin‘s still in the picture. I don’t want to put you to sleep with the details of the phone conversations and long distance scrabble games on our iPhones, but he’s still around.

This week Kevin left to visit one of his college buddies in Switzerland. He called me right before he left and I missed the call, which meant that I’d have to wait 10 days to hear from him. Around day three of his trip, I started feeling weird. I’d have urges to call or text him… basically, I started to miss him.

Two days later, I logged onto facebook and saw that he’d sent me a message. It wasn’t anything deep, just a quick hello, but it was nice. He’s having an awesome time in Switzerland, but he took the time out to get in contact with me.

Sometimes, it’s the little things….