I’ve always thought of the end of the year as an ideal time to reflect and make decisions about what things I’m going to leave behind when the clock strikes 12 (kind of like a backwards resolution). Of course, as I take stock of where I am in life, my dating status comes to mind. I’m not in a rush to get married or anything, but most of you know that the past 12 months have been a roller coaster when it comes to my dating life.

Christmas 2009 brought Kevin back into my life. Falling for an old elementary school crush was incredibly romantic and taught me a lot about my self esteem. If I could tell my 12 year old self that Kevin and I would eventually date, I don’t think she would have believed me. But it happened and although it didn’t come together, I’m so much more confident because of it.

2010 brought its share of mistakes too, like Mike Lowrey, a reader who convinced me to meet him for my first blind date. If there was one guy I could erase, it would be him. So many of you warned me that he seemed to thrive on the attention that came from being featured on TBGB. At the time I didn’t believe it but… when I stopped writing, he stopped calling. *shrugs*

Then there was Adrian, who I really thought was going to be my happy ending for 2010. He said and did the right things and even asked me about dating exclusively, but in the end he vanished (perhaps he was eaten by snow leopards?).

Anyway, as I look back over 2010 and I think about the things I don’t want to bring into 2011, I have to be honest with myself about my dating habits. Although I enjoy dating, first dates can be exhausting! and as much as I crave something steady and comfortable, it seems like I can’t get out of the cycle of casually dating multiple guys at once.

In a few of our Curvy Conversations, I’ve confidently encouraged other Plus Size Princesses to go for what they want, put themselves out there and make themselves vulnerable with men. I never promise happy endings, but I’ve always felt strongly that the risks would be worth the rewards (and thankfully they were!) But as I look at the dating advice I give to other PSP’s I have to wonder if I’m fully practicing what I preach. Am I going for what I want? Am I putting myself out there? Am I making myself vulnerable?

There’s been a nagging feeling in my stomach that I’m not.

Kevin and I have been keeping in touch all year and when he’s tried to brooch the subject of “us”, I’ve skillfully avoided the question but as the holidays began to draw near, I started to wonder if I should give him another chance when I head home to California.

But giving Kevin a second chance wasn’t really a brave decision. I knew he liked me, I knew he was attracted to me and I knew that if I gave the slightest approval, we’d be back on again. Then two weeks ago, it hit me: being completely vulnerable and taking a romantic risk would only come from confessing my feelings to one person… Robert.

The “Um… Are We Dating?” Robert situation was the one thing I could not bring into 2011. (I know you’re probably thinking “Duh, CeCe… we’ve been telling you this forever!”)

Something in me has shifted. I dont know… maybe I’m growing up. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was time to get over my insecurities and tell Robert that I have feelings for him.

And I had to do it ASAP….

Greetings from California!

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I’m home for the holidays. I’ve got lots of boy updates for you starting next week, but in the meantime I’ve got to decide on a New Years outfit (especially because I might have a date!)

I found two pieces from www.OneStopPlus.com (which is like a shopping mall that only carries plus size clothes). After trying these pieces on, I’m feeling like they would be so fun for New Years… its getting hard to choose!

I’ve been dreaming of finding a skirt made of feathers for a while now, so when I saw this dress with a feathered trim around it, I fell in love with it. I immediately saw myself in fishnets and a million strands of pearls to play up the 1940′s feel. I also thought I could pair it with my knee high boots to make it a bit more modern (and to keep my legs somewhat warm).

Last week I mentioned not wanting to look like a disco ball in a sequined dress, but OSP has a sequined skirt (via Avenue) that is adorable in black or grey.

The thing I like the most about his skirt is the little chime noise it makes when I move as the sequins touch each other. Its super glam! If any of you are thinking about ordering this, I’d suggest going a size up, it has a high waist and lots of lycra, so a size up helped me feel less…um… “lumpy”.

The only thing I don’t like about skirts is finding the right top to go with them. Dresses are easy since you’re covered in one swoosh. But I’m thinking about maybe wearing a white or black tank top and crazy accessories like a funky headband or chunky red necklace.

Help! How would you style this skirt?

Hello Cece,

I have been reading your blog for about 6 months and very much enjoy your writing and perspective … but I am always bothered when you bring up the topic of PCOS for a number of reasons. Mostly because I have severe PCOS. I am on metformin (insulin support), spironolactone (testosterone inhibitor), and birth control. One of my ovaries was completely destroyed by scar tissue before I was even diagnosed. If my condition gets any worse, my endocrinologist has suggested that I go on a special-mix hormone injection on a bi-weekly basis as I’m pretty much maxed out on the pills. So please do not think that this email is coming from a lack of understanding. Trust me. I understand.

But PCOS does not make you over-weight. In fact, being over-weight can actually TRIGGER the symptoms of PCOS, i.e. many people’s symptoms lessen or completely disappear if they lose weight. Now I am not going to claim that losing weight isn’t more difficult when you have PCOS - most doctors now (finally) agree that it is. However, it is not impossible - and I think that it’s important that the public voices of the PCOS community are quite clear on that point. Many of your readers could be one of the lucky ones that can get real symptom relief upon losing weight.

Before I realized I had PCOS, I was a sugar addict (which obviously is the key driver for gaining weight with PCOS). Upon diagnosis, I was 175 pounds, i.e. over the healthy BMI zone - I’m 5’6 btw. I then started taking my medication, working out, closely monitoring my calorie intake, and working with my endocrinologist to set up a PCOS-friendly diet (i.e. no sugar, no white starch). I lost 40 pounds and am now back into a healthy range on the BMI scale though by no means rail thin. So I STILL have severe PCOS … but I’m no longer overweight.

I am not writing this to judge those women who want to lose weight and have a hard time doing so. I understand what it feels like to not be happy with your body and have to struggle twice as hard as others for every pound lost. But a message of hopelessness to PCOS women is not a responsible one and I encourage you to confirm my email with a doctor and adjust the messaging on your blog (and monitor commenters accordingly, who are sometimes misinformed on PCOS to an extreme level). You owe it to your very loyal readers to share the truth about their situation.

I don’t mind if you post this letter, though I’m guessing that you won’t.

Take care,
Jess

Hey Jess,

I’m surprised that you think I wouldn’t post your letter, I think you make an interesting point.

Every persons weight/weight loss story is different and every PCOS story is different. I love that you’re bringing up another side of PCOS. I also appreciate that you’re willing to share your personal story.

My understanding of the connection between PCOS & Weigh Gain is that one can trigger the other, but there are mixed opinions about which does what. Its like the old adage “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” but that’s just scratching the surface of what triggers PCOS. I’ve met people with PCOS who are super skinny, so there’s not a 100% proven cause. But at the end of the day I am not a doctor, so I’m not qualified to debate PCOS. I can only talk about my history and experiences.

When I share my stories on TBGB, I never have the desire to send a “message of hopelessness” as you say. I’m kind of sad that you’ve interpreted my writing that way because I live my life just the opposite. The spirit of this blog is that being over weight is not the end of the world. For me, having PCOS is not the end of the world either.

Every Wednesday I talk about my weight loss and work outs… and when I gain weight I never blame PCOS. Weight loss with PCOS is possible, sometimes it just takes a little more dedication… its all about choices.

Hopefully your letter will shine some light on another experience and influence different thoughts, but I don’t plan on monitoring my readers comments. I like when people to speak their minds (as you did in your letter) and I also think its important for my fellow PSP’s to feel comfortable on TheBigGirlBlog… this is a safe space.

Anyway, congrats on your weight loss 40 pounds is a huge accomplishment!

-CeCe

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

I’ve been going through my jewelry box for holiday parties and I’m realizing that I could use some more formal pieces in my collection. My Dad has done a good job of providing me with beautiful diamond and pear classic sets that I like to break out on special occasions. I need to improve my collection of jewelry for when want something colorful that isn’t going to rust over after a week.

Ice.com, the Internet’s first online Jewelry store has an amazing pair of blue topaz earrings that I’m thinking about getting and I guess my timing is good because they’re giving away money to their customers. Yup, to celebrate the holidays the company is extending $20 free towards purchases on merchandise throughout the store through the end of the year. Now they would like to offer this exclusive incentive to TBGB readers! Just visit the Ice.com site and use the coupon code FRNDS at checkout in order to benefit from this Friends & Family gift. You get $20 to spend on virtually everything in the store + free shipping in time for Christmas. It extends to 12/31/10.

Happy Shopping!

Merry Christmas to my Plus Size Princesses!

Shop Translated, the company I mentioned in my Plus Size New Years Dress post, has offered to give away two dresses on TBGB!

Entering is simple, just follow me on Twitter (@thebiggirlblog) then tweet “Do you follow @thebiggirlblog? CeCe’s giving away TWO #plussize dresses from @shoptranslated! Follow @thebiggirlblog, RT this & win!”

That’s all it takes… see you on Twitter!

xoxo

So many TBGB readers have suggested Zumba to me, so I tried it last week along with my regular dance classes. I liked Zumba, but when the class was over I felt like I hadn’t worked enough. I had been having the same feelings in my dance classes too, it was like my body was craving a more intense workout.

My gym offers boxing and kick boxing classes, so I tried those this week and Oh Em GEE! These classes are phenomenal. The more aggressive workout is exactly what I’ve been craving.

I was nervous to try the classes because the instructors were men and I was used to aerobics with women, but taking a class with a guy has proven to be a lot more fun. We start off doing group exercises like jumping jacks and push ups and then we spar with the instructor one at a time. These male instructors yell for me to kick higher, punch them harder and jump higher, but the do it in the most supportive way. Last night the boxing instructor came over to me while I was doing jab-hook combinations. After he showed me how to use my entire body with every punch, he winked at me and said “Be aggressive! Don’t worry about looking cute, you’ve already got that part down!”

By the time I leave class, I’m exhausted, when I wake up the next morning, I’m sore and… its awesome!

Anyway, last week I hit the gym three times (I even went on Thanksgiving!) and I think my workouts balanced out my Turkey Day binge because, I didn’t lose or gain any weight this week.

Has anyone else tried boxing or kick boxing? Do you like it?