Confession: I’m a Weight Watchers drop out.

My first 30 pounds came off in one year with Weight Watchers, but then… I began to cheat the system… staying “under my points” but still not eating well (did you know that a Skinny Cow ice-cream bar is only three points? Which means I could have two for dinner and only use six points!) Yeah, it was bad. I gained 10 pounds back. And then… I told myself I couldn’t show my face at a meeting to get weighed in until I had lost the 10 pounds. Which meant I was paying for a membership I wasn’t using, so I canceled it.

A few months after canceling my weight watchers membership, I began to work with my nutritionist and embrace clean eating (bye, bye skinny cow ice-cream bars!) I quickly lost the 10 pounds I had gained, plus eight more and I’m currently hovering over the 40 pound mark. I’m happy with the work I’m putting in, I’m happy with what we’re learning in #PSPfit bootcamp.

Then last week something happened; I ran into my old weight watchers leader and suddenly felt like I wasn’t far enough along, I hadn’t lost enough weight and I was a complete failure.

Did my WW leader ask about my weight? Nope! She asked me how I was doing and we caught up like normal people, but in my head she was looking at me and judging my progress.

Do you have people in your life that you want to see once you’re different in some way? Maybe you fantasize, “the next time I see them I’m going to be ________ ” It could be anything… “next time I’m going to look fabulous/have a great job/be in a fulfilling relationship” …whatever. I think my WW leader is one of those people for me. I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I decided that I the next time I saw her I was going to be significantly smaller… but she made her cameo in my life early and I wasn’t prepared!

I can laugh about it now, but in the moment I was emotional. Seeing her when I wasn’t at my “best” really made me feel like I hadn’t lost ANY weight, which of course is not true and if it was someone else saying this to me, I be telling them they were crazy for having a meltdown. But its different when its me.

Anyway, today I can be more objective– I can say that I am smaller/healthier/fitter than I was at my last WW meeting. I can say that I haven’t reached all of my fitness goals, but I’m closer. I’m eating better and working harder and I’m *this* close to having lost 40 pounds… and just because I’m not where I wanted to be by now, doesn’t mean I’m not farther along than I was before.

*sigh*

We are we so hard on ourselves?

When it comes to shopping online, sometimes its hard to tell what will look good on you. With shipping fees, I really want to make sure I get it right the first time. I enjoy shopping and trying things on, I’ll put on dresses in different cuts/styles to learn what I like and what I don’t. Overtime I’ve developed a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to looking at an outfit and determining 1.) How it will look on me and 2.) What size I should get. Here are two of my most recent online purchases, below you can see how they look on the model and how they look on me.

I’m loving all of the floral prints coming out this season. This is my Cinco de Mayo outfit (it was *just* warm enough to pull this off with Gladiator Sandals) I spotted this floral/polka dot dress on the Torrid.com site and got it in what I thought was my size. It fit, but I wish I would have ordered it a size down, the flowy waist area allows for more room in the tummy area, but I felt like the bust could have been tighter. Oh, and for those of you wondering how I manage to go bare legged without chaffing issues, I swipe Gold Bond Anti Chafe Balm on my inner thighs and I’m good to go!

This dress I found on the Macy’s site, I ordered it in both pink and black because its such a classic cut, they’re now selling it in tangerine and turquoise too! I read the reviews on this dress and ordered it a size down, I’m really  glad I did. It fit perfectly… the only tweaking I had to do was in the bust, the cross body effect left wayyyy too much room for The Twins to pop out, so I took a needle and thread and tacked it. The model has a smaller chest than I do though, so if you’re built like her you shouldn’t have a problem. 

Shop the looks below!

First things first: Want to be a part of the next Plus Size Princess Fitness (#PSPfit) Bootcamp? Sign up here to be the first to know about Round II!

This weeks giveaway is a $100 giftcard to #PSPfit workout video sponsor LolaGetts (aka Lola Getts Active) they have high end plus size gym clothes and activewear that is so adorable. Want to win a $100 giftcard to LolaGetts? You’ve got two options:

1.) Watch the two minute review (below) of their best workout tops and tell me what your favorite item is in the comments section

2.) Tweet the following: Want to win a $100 giftcard? 1.) Follow @thebiggirlblog 2.) Follow @lolagettsactive 3.) RT this! http://ow.ly/kOqpQ #plussize

3.) Do both and your chances to win are doubled!

If you see something on the LolaGetts site that you like, they’re offering TBGB readers 50% off when you use coupon code PSPFIT50 at LolaGetts.com

Video by Linda (aka, @Ell_LO)

I’ve been having an email conversation with a PSP about intimacy. I feel a lot more solid in my dating advice than my advice on physical stuff, so take a look at our conversation below and if you have advice/thoughts for her you can chime in. I don’t think “s*x” is a bad word, but I’m going to censor it so that this site doesn’t get flagged/blocked by your office networks. (Shout out to those of you reading at work!) We’ll start off with her first email to me:

CeCe, 

Once again we’ve had a fabulous sponsor come through to make our #PSPfit bootcamp workout videos accessible for everyone.

This weeks #PSPfit workout video is sponsored by +size activewear line, LolaGetts.com, we LOVED working out in Lola Getts and have a full review (and giveaway) of their luxe line coming on Wednesday, in the meantime… let’s get moving!

Subscribe to the PlusSizePrincessNYC youtube channel so that you can get your cardio on anytime/anyplace!

Also, I just got an email with a video of Australian +size blogger DaniMezza doing a #PSPfit workout via my YouTube channel… its the cutest thing ever! If you do the workout and record yourself, PLEASE let me know so that I can share it with everyone… big girls DO workout Read Dani’s post on her #PSPfit experience here.

Spring has sprung, well kinda… its freezing in NYC. Anyway, this season is when I love to walk around in a fun, frilly dress. This one below is a few months old, but I found a similar plus size dress on the City Chic site, its called the “poppy dress” if you’re looking.

Photos by Zanography

Dress & Tights: Torrid, Shoes: NYC Costume Shop, Cardigan: Macys, Bag: Vintage, Necklace Gift from a friend

Before we jump into todays post, thanks to everyone who is a part of the #PSPfit bootcamp. We’ve got a few walk-in tickets for any girls who want to come workout with us and get the clean eating packet for the week. Join us, Get your $20 tix here.

Now for todays post:

My girl @FeministaJones is a great twitter personality who has a lot going for her, she used to be a lot bigger than she is so its fun to tweet with her about +size problems. Last night she got me all turned up when she called out subtle fat prejudice by tweeting this:

RT if you treat the hefty friends you have like maternal figures and have no fear going out with them

— FJ The Riveter(@FeministaJones) April 21, 2013

Hopefully you get her humor and see that she’s calling out the people who have Plus Size Princesses in their lives because we’re “safe” and make them feel good about themselves.

Yes, she said it and I echo the sentiment.

For many people, a Plus Size Princess is a safe friend. A PSP is the girl you go out with because it automatically makes you the hot chick. Is it something that’s done on purpose? I’m not sure. But ask any PSP who has lost a significant amount of weight, some of the relationships with their female friends did not survive once they slimmed down. Hmmmm.

My main fascination with this is how people refuse to acknowledge that Plus Size Princesses can have a romantic/sexual life. When I was auditioning for roles in theater, I was constantly cast as the “Mom”, the “Teacher”, the “Aunt”… even if I could sing the part of the girlfriend, my size made it impossible for casting directors to see me as an object of desire.

This type of thinking floods back into the real world and my relationships with my female friends. I am safe. It reminded me of something that happened a few years ago, so I tweeted the story to @FeministaJones:

A friend asked if her bf could stay w/ me in NYC… Alone. Thought it was odd then realized she didn’t see me as a threat @feministajones

— CeCe Olisa (@thebiggirlblog) April 21, 2013

Am I a trustworthy friend? Sure. Was I attracted to her boyfriend? Absolutely not. But think about it, if I had a Kim Kardashian body, do you think my girl would send her boyfriend to sleep over at my apartment for a few days without her? That request helped me see that for many women I’m very much a non-factor. “Lets see if you can stay with CeCe” is the same to them as “Lets see if you can stay with my Aunt Glenda”.

For many people I’m just this warm maternal figure who will take care of them and anyone around me (this happens to be true I’m a first-born and a Cancer) but to ignore that I’m also a sexual being capable of desire and being desired is to ignore my femininity and my womanhood.

@thebiggirlblog until he tries to slide on in..

— Sweet Sap Jane (@languishlita) April 21, 2013

…and there you have it. Thanks @languishlita for making it plain!

Thoughts? Chime in below!

I’m happy to announce that JC Penney has decided to sponsor the #PSPfit workout videos…

What does this mean?

It means that JC Penney and their Xersion Plus Size Activewear line is making it possible for our fitness videos to be accessible to everyone, not just #PSPfit Bootcamp members. If you weren’t able to register for this session of our clean eating/fitness bootcamp, you’ll miss out on a lot, but thanks to Xersion, by JCP you can still get up and get moving with us at home, in your dorm, on a business trip or wherever… no more excuses!

Big Girls DO Workout, obvi. But lots of clothing brands assume that Plus Size Princesses have no interest in physical fitness, so I give JCP a huge high five for dedicating a brand to us so that we’re not limited in what we wear to exercise.

JC Penney’s Xersion Plus Size Gym Clothes worked really well when I grabbed my girls to film some workout videos for Plus Size Princesses, I knew Xersion would fit everyone’s style, size and budget (I was able to pick up some Capri’s for $3 on sale!) Watch the video & learn the giveaway details below…

Xersion, by JC Penney has been kind enough to give you all access to the #PSPfit videos… they’ve also given me FIVE giftcards to giveaway so that you can try Xersion out for yourself. There are two ways to win:

1.) Visit the JC Penney Xersion site, choose your favorite item and leave a link to it in the comment section of this post.

2.) Tweet the following phrase: “Thanks @JCpenney for sponsoring @thebiggirlblog’s #PSPfit workout videos! Im checking out Xersion +Size Gym Clothes http://ow.ly/kaOe1″

P.S. For those of you who can get to NYC on Saturday, we’ve got $20 bootcamp tickets available (Bootcamp is from 2-4pm and your ticket gets you 1 training session with a certified trainer and 1 nutrition session with a certified nutritionist) Purchase your tix here!