I’m 5’10, I have wide feet and my left foot is slightly bigger than my right foot. For me, this combination has caused an extreme aversion to high-heeled shoes. It seems like most of the Plus Size Princesses I see have amazing shoe collections, but I just can’t do it. Fashionable heels are a part of mainstream fashion that PSP’s can still be a part of but with my crazy feet, I’m still left out in the cold.

When I was younger, it was because heels made me too tall. Once I got older (and the boys grew taller) I was open to wearing heels, but I could never find any that fit me properly. While other girls were learning to trot around in stilettos, I was constantly scouring the stores for cute flats, mary janes with a slight platform or converse sneakers.

I didn’t even buy shoes for my senior prom. Instead I wore my ballet slippers and kept them artfully hidden underneath my floor length ball gown.

But as I grow up, I’m noticing that high heels are a MAJOR part of an outfit. So… I’ve been trying to find ways to step my shoe game up. Some of the tricks I’ve been using lately are beautiful riding boots especially in the winter. Pairing gorgeous tall boots with mini dresses or jeans still give me a great look, even if the heel is low.

I’m also obsessed with the heels sold at plus size stores like Avenue and Lane Bryant. Heels made specifically for a plus size foot seem to work for me. I’ve been rocking 3″ heels in the office and my feet aren’t screaming for relief with every step.

I also like wedges and the age-old trick of wearing ballet flats or flip-flops and then changing into heels at the last possible minute.

Even as I write this, my heels are kicked to the side and I’m barefoot. But I’m trying to get better….

Do you love heels? How do you make them more comfortable?

I came home yesterday to find this waiting for me outside my door…

Yes, that is a jar of cake. My next door neighbor had one waiting for her too. Both had little notes on them from the guy who lives upstairs. “Leftover Birthday Cake… Enjoy!”

I sighed and took the jar of cake inside with me (it was red velvet, my fave!) I had just come in from a cardio fusion class and was planning to make fajitas packed with veggies and grilled chicken and maybe have a Skinny Cow for dessert. I was frustrated because I had been very particular about what I brought into my house this week. It seems like no matter how I try, temptation lands on my doorstep… literally.

As I made the fajitas (which were amazing, I might add) I was very careful not to open the jar and snack on the cake. When I finished dinner I took a shower and then before I brushed my teeth, I took a spoon full of cake from the jar. It was delicious. I took another spoonful, then another. I cursed temptation with each bite for ruining my good eating plan. Then I stopped, set the spoon in the sink, walked over to my garbage can and dumped all of the cake pieces into the trash. I would have set the jar in the trash, but that left the option of taking it out in a moment of weakness and eating more cake. Let’s be honest, I’d totally do that.

I feel like its easy to eat well when I have a house full of fruits and veggies. But the real eating choices are made when I have bad options at my fingertips. A friendly neighbor bringing cake to my doorstep is a part of life. Life wont stop so that I can lose weight. I have to learn to eat well while life is happening! I made the right choice this time… hopefully I can do it again.

Last time I weighed I’d lost another 2.6 pounds… “aunt flow” is in town right now though, so I’m not sure where I am. I’ll give you a true number next week.

How’s everyone else doing?

“I would love to meet you in person, are you free this Friday?” Tom asked over the phone.

We’d met online (pre Robert) and had been talking on the phone for about a week. It was definitely time for a face-to-face, in order to see what our true chemistry/attraction was.

“Sure… what did you have in mind?”

“There’s a Starbucks in Times Square, lets meet there for coffee,” Tom said.

***Tires Screeching***

Starbucks?

on a Friday Night?

…in Times Square??

You know those dating commercials that say “Actual First Date” on the bottom, when the two people awkwardly meet in front of a restaurant and then laugh and flirt over sushi and drinks? Yeah. That hardly ever happens to me when I meet guys online. The guys I meet are all about the coffee date.

When did coffee become every guys idea of a perfect date? I have no idea… I mean– get it, a coffee date is cheap and can end quickly if needed. But lately guys seem to feel like they’re really “doing something” if they ask to meet you for coffee (mind you, most guys who have asked me to coffee don’t even drink coffee) augh!

Anyway, I feel like  if a guy is going to use the “lets meet coffee” approach, he absolutely cannot try to book it on a Friday or Saturday night… that’s prime weekend time! If I’m a single girl, my Friday and Saturday Nights are for going out with my girls to meet new guys or for dates that are based around meals, activities or maybe a cocktail. Not paper cups with plastic lids and cardboard slip covers!

Okay, so back to Tom… I hesitated trying to figure out a way to say how I felt about his proposed date.

“I’d love to meet you, but maybe we can do something else? There has to be something else we can do on a Friday night in New York City,” I cooed.

“Well, I really want to talk and get to know you, I think Starbucks is nice and quiet. We can talk over a cup of coffee” he said. He sounded pleased with himself.

“There are lots of restaurants that are nice and quiet too,” I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

As much as I love Starbucks, it is not a quiet french cafe. Between the espresso machine, the frappuccino blender, the baristas yelling out orders and the “artist of the month” playing over the speakers… that place can be far from romantic. Not to mention he wanted to meet at the Starbucks in Times Square. (For those of you who don’t live in NYC, Times Square is like Disneyland… with homeless people.)

I could hear in his voice that he was trying to romanticize the starbucks thing, when at the end of the day he just wanted a cheap date (which again, I have no problem with just NOT on a Friday night!). I was backed into a corner because I’d already said I was free, but I refused to waste my Friday night in Times Square drinking coffee. Ultimately, I gave him 24 hours notice that I’d have to cancel our coffee date. Maybe I’m too high maintenance, but I just couldn’t do it…

How do YOU feel about coffee dates? Love ‘em? Hate ‘em?

“Raj, you’ve got to meet this girl, she’s awesome!” a hipster guy yelled to his friend as he draped his arm over my shoulder.

Once I realized that bar banter is mostly about carrying on silly/clever conversations, I was good to go. Especially since I wasn’t really trying to meet anyone at the party. But somehow my silly/clever convo’s with different guys would turn into actual conversations.

In between chatting it up with Jess and whatever guy came our way, Robert and I were carrying on a conversation via text. At one point my feet got tired, so I curled up in a corner with my phone. “Where’s CeCe?!” an Asian guy who I’d had some brief “bar banter” with asked Jess. When she pointed me out on the couches, he rushed over and plopped down next to me. “There you are!” he said. “Get off your phone and join the party…”

This was weird.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so popular with men at a party before. Over the course of the night, I felt like there was a constant flow of guys, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. At one point, even Jess leaned over and whispered “are you still dating Robert? ‘Cause you’re reeling them in tonight!”

It was the kind of night that I would have longed for, when I was “looking”. It was the kind of night I’d imagined would happen all the time if I had lost a substantial amount of weight. I’ve lost weight, but not enough to where it would affect my dating life. So what made me such a guy magnet? I was still thinking about it on the subway ride home and then I remembered something an old friend said to me when we used to attend the BBW parties. I had been complaining about how I wasn’t really meeting anyone and she said,

“CeCe, I don’t want this to sound harsh but… you should try to relax when we’re out. You always look like you’re taking the night super seriously and it makes you seem– thirsty. Guys can see thirstiness from a mile away, so they avoid you. They’re not trying to get engaged or anything– they just want to dance, have fun and see where the night goes. Just try to have a good time and things will happen.”

She was right. I think I always had “could this be it?” in the back of my mind when I met guys so, it seemed like I was on the prowl (which I guess I was). I just wanted to be in a serious relationship, so that “thirstiness” was hard to shake. I always tried to heed her advice, but I knew I wasn’t doing a good job. I was looking for something more serious, but I was projecting that desire and it was too much for a bar/club setting. I was scaring guys off.

Now that I’m dating Robert, I truly couldn’t care less about the guys that I meet. When I talk to them, I’m not “thirsty” or “pressed” to make a love connection and I think that might make guys want to talk to me more. Even thinking back to when I met Robert: He always talks about how he thought I was a snob at first. I think because we met at work, I didn’t have my “could this be it?” feelers up. I was relaxed, focused on work (almost aloof, even) and somehow that lack of thirstiness translated into him making a point to get to know me better.

It’s quite a paradox, that having a guy in my life makes me more at ease with other men and then more desirable to them. You know how the guys you’re 100% UNINTERESTED in are the ones who pursue you the hardest? Maybe its because those are the guys who never see our “thirsty side”.

If I ever find myself “looking” again (hopefully, I wont ), I’m really going to try to keep my thirstiness at bay.

Do any of you feel like you might come off a little “thirsty” when you meet guys? Have you observed “thirstiness” in other girls?

It seems like designers are encouraging Plus Size Princesses to step out of our comfort zone this summer. I’ve started looking for my swimsuit and I’ve realized that the days of swim dresses with floral prints are OVER (whew!). Now PSPs can hit the beach in bold colors, fabulous cuts and even… Bikinis!

One of the brands changing the game when it comes to plus size swimwear is Bare Necessities and their new brand, BarePlus. With over 300 carefully curated swim options, ranging from size 6 to 24W and bra-sized swim from D to K cup Bare Plus is a great site to find bathing suits for women of any size! This year there are swimsuits available in dynamite styles from SPANX, Panache, Fantasie, Freya, Miraclesuit and Elomi.

In honor of their swim selection, they’ve launched a Google Interactive digital swim catalog to help kick off the 2012 swim season, you can check it out here.

If you had to choose a new suit, would you choose a bold color? crazy cut? or a bikini?

www.facebook.com/bareplus

On Saturday I went to an awesome loft party with Jess Downey, a dating blogger who has crazier dating stories than I do! Walking into the party, I felt good. I’d spent 2 hours in the gym, gotten a pedicure earlier that day and I was wearing my convertible dress from Igigi in the one-shoulder version.

As we stood at the bar waiting for our drinks, men began to approach us. It was then that I realized how long it had been since I’d been out in the bar scene without Robert. Men were flirting with Jess and me and for a few minutes, I forgot how to flirt in a bar. At first, I let Jess do most of the talking. She’s adorable, she’s got a great energy about her and she’s very approachable. Guys were coming over and saying silly/witty/funny/random things. We’d laugh and then Jess would retort with her own humorous comments.

But I felt weird because I was no longer fluent in flirty “bar-banter”. Bar banter, is that kind of funny/sarcastic way that strangers of the opposite sex interact at a bar. It’s often short sentences that are yelled into someones ear over the music. Once a punchline is reached, everyone laughs and then prays that awkward silence doesn’t follow. Here’s an example:

Guy: I can’t believe they only have one bartender here

Girl: Me either, he’s making some complicated drinks!

Guy: I know– I say, he pours us all shots and we call it a day!

Girl: I’m down!

(laughter) (maybe even a high-five)

These are the conversations that “we met at a bar” stories are made of. There’s no substance, no real understanding of who the other person is… but somehow people translate this into dating situations. A few drinks later my Bar-Banter skills came back after a few conversations and I was holding my own while playing wing-girl for Jess. But then I remembered that bar-banter never appealed to me, it actually used to drive me a little crazy.

As a single girl, Bar-Banter is technically awesome! Being approached by a guy, laughing at his dumb jokes maybe even letting a guy buy me a drink or dancing with him felt good and of course, I always wondered if it would lead to something more. Turning Bar-Banter into something more (i.e. a phone number or a date) is even more difficult and honestly, I forgot how stressful it all can be.

Are you fluent in “Bar-Banter”? Do you enjoy flirting with guys at bars?

As I got dressed for my kickboxing class, I realized that I hadn’t packed a bra! My everyday bras are usually demi-cut with a deep plunge. This makes “the twins” look great during the day, but it’s not ideal for a workout. I didn’t want to skip my class, so I just threw my workout top on over my sexy bra and hoped for the best.

We started the class with jumping jacks. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and OH EM GEE was I bouncing around! But there was nothing I could really do about it…. well I guess I could’ve held my boobs down with one arm and let the other arm do the jumping jacks, but that would just call more attention to everything.

My favorite part about this kickboxing class is that the instructor works with us one at a time and makes is kick and punch him while he holds up a body pad. He really pushes us to work hard and if he feels our punches and kicks getting weak, he makes us start over. Its difficult, but awesome!

It was my turn to go up and spar with the instructor. On this particular day, he was pushing everyone extra hard. “Here’s your combination,” he said as I tightened up the straps on my boxing gloves, “front-kick, side kick, then eight jabs.”

I don’t know if I was being overzealous or what, but somewhere in the middle of my combination I felt my right boob pop right out of my bra!

Of course, I wanted to just push my boob back into my bra really quick but 1.) I was in the middle of a fast sparring session with a “no excuses” instructor 2.) I had on boxing gloves which meant my hands were basically useless

I’m still not sure how I finished the session, I think I just held my arms close to my body or something. But I finished and immediately rushed into the corner to pull myself (and the twins) together. Awkwardly, this is not my only boob mishap… I swear, sometimes I think they have a mind of their own!

In other breast related news… there’s a new bra line out that goes up to a 40H! Its called Natori and I was able to try one on at their launch event. The bras are gorgeous and have gel in the straps to make them extra comfy without the grandma-padding. Check them out!

New York City is truly the city that never sleeps. At the core of the Big Apple are the seeds that might lead you to your next big break… your true love, or maybe just the experience of a lifetime. There are numerous very good reasons why you should consider a move to New York, but here are five:

The people

You won’t find a diversity of language and culture like this anywhere else in the world. New York is home to as many as 800 languages and its resident population represents nearly 200 countries, all blending together to create a mufti-cultural environment which thrives on its very diversity.

Shopping

Boutiques, shops, street fairs, sidewalk vendors, bookstores, music stores, clothing shops, provide the opportunities to shop till you drop. The sheer accessibility of shops is enough to make any diva swoon. Everything from groceries, to home goods, to the latest runway fashions are never more than a few blocks or a subway hop away from home.

Activities

Boredom is simply nonexistent in New York. From monthly events in Central Park, to the shows, tours and boating trips that cruise past Lady Liberty both day and night, New York is constantly abuzz with activity. Chocolate walks, ghost walks, cupcake crawls… the list is endless.

The single scene

New York is ranked by the leading magazines as being the number one place to live as a single in the US, whether you’re looking for someone or are content to remain unattached. The cafes, bars, restaurants, art galleries, walks in the park and the simple joie de vivre of City life mean that singles are never alone unless they want to be.

Affordable Options (relatively speaking)

Although New York has a reputation for high rents and high pricing, salaries are proportionately higher, and the rents are coming down. Finding affordable housing may take some research but unlike English-speaking cab drivers, it does exist. Although apartment hunting may seem daunting, New York storage is affordable, reducing the complications of a move.