Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Fitness

Confession: I’m a Weight Watchers drop out.

My first 30 pounds came off in one year with Weight Watchers, but then… I began to cheat the system… staying “under my points” but still not eating well (did you know that a Skinny Cow ice-cream bar is only three points? Which means I could have two for dinner and only use six points!) Yeah, it was bad. I gained 10 pounds back. And then… I told myself I couldn’t show my face at a meeting to get weighed in until I had lost the 10 pounds. Which meant I was paying for a membership I wasn’t using, so I canceled it.

A few months after canceling my weight watchers membership, I began to work with my nutritionist and embrace clean eating (bye, bye skinny cow ice-cream bars!) I quickly lost the 10 pounds I had gained, plus eight more and I’m currently hovering over the 40 pound mark. I’m happy with the work I’m putting in, I’m happy with what we’re learning in #PSPfit bootcamp.

Then last week something happened; I ran into my old weight watchers leader and suddenly felt like I wasn’t far enough along, I hadn’t lost enough weight and I was a complete failure.

Did my WW leader ask about my weight? Nope! She asked me how I was doing and we caught up like normal people, but in my head she was looking at me and judging my progress.

Do you have people in your life that you want to see once you’re different in some way? Maybe you fantasize, “the next time I see them I’m going to be ________ ” It could be anything… “next time I’m going to look fabulous/have a great job/be in a fulfilling relationship” …whatever. I think my WW leader is one of those people for me. I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I decided that I the next time I saw her I was going to be significantly smaller… but she made her cameo in my life early and I wasn’t prepared!

I can laugh about it now, but in the moment I was emotional. Seeing her when I wasn’t at my “best” really made me feel like I hadn’t lost ANY weight, which of course is not true and if it was someone else saying this to me, I be telling them they were crazy for having a meltdown. But its different when its me.

Anyway, today I can be more objective– I can say that I am smaller/healthier/fitter than I was at my last WW meeting. I can say that I haven’t reached all of my fitness goals, but I’m closer. I’m eating better and working harder and I’m *this* close to having lost 40 pounds… and just because I’m not where I wanted to be by now, doesn’t mean I’m not farther along than I was before.

*sigh*

We are we so hard on ourselves?

Curvy Conversations: I’m 22 and I Think I’m Ready… Thoughts?

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Dating

I’ve been having an email conversation with a PSP about intimacy. I feel a lot more solid in my dating advice than my advice on physical stuff, so take a look at our conversation below and if you have advice/thoughts for her you can chime in. I don’t think “s*x” is a bad word, but I’m going to censor it so that this site doesn’t get flagged/blocked by your office networks. (Shout out to those of you reading at work!) We’ll start off with her first email to me:

CeCe, 

First, I would like to say that I love your blog. It’s very informative and says many of the things I think about. Thanks for writing it and doing a spectacular job! 
 
My question is related to s*x, hence the subject line. I’m a 22 year old PSP. I’ve never been in a relationship am a virgin (I attended an all girls boarding high school). I believe that I’m ready to have s*x and I want to have s*x. However, I have some anxiety about my body despite losing weight – over 40lbs. I was one of those PSPs who always thought, if only I were skinny. 
 
I have so much anxiety about having s*x, my body during s*x, etc. What do I do? I know this is a bit personal, but did you experience any of the same things?
-PB
Hi PB,
Good questions! Before I answer I have some questions for you… Why do you want to have s*x? Is it just “time”? or is there a person you’re interested in being intimate with?

Hey CeCe,
I would say it’s a mixture of both. There is someone I’m interested in having s*x with. I also feel like I’m at the maturity level to handle the repercussions of s*x. I’m more sure of myself as a person and can stand my ground  - I speak up for myself and get what I want. I knew before that I couldn’t handle being s*xually active – school was first (I recently graduated) and I was working through some personal issues. 
Hi PB,
Okay that makes sense, I’ll answer your questions the best I can. Yes, I definitely have anxiety/insecurity about my body when there’s a man in the room. While Plus Size Princesses might have more body image issues to sort through, from what I understand, those feelings are normal for women of all sizes (yes, even skinny girls).
A few things to think about:
-You’re using some very interesting words around this subject “anxiety” and “repercussions” stick out the most, very negative words. While we all have awkwardness about our bodies, I feel like when your focus is on sharing your body with another person, some of that lifts. If there is a deep bond/emotional connection, then the physical becomes an extension of that. That said, you’re saying that you’ve never had a relationship but there is someone you want to sleep with. So, I’m going to assume that this person you have in mind is not someone who is committed to you.
-I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again even though some girls reading this wont agree: As women we need to be very careful about who we share our bodies with. When we have intimate experiences, our biological nature is to attach to the person gave us pleasure. We release a hormone call oxytocin that makes us want to bond. We also release this hormone when we have babies, it connects us strongly to people. Because of this I’d say think twice before just sleeping with someone to “get it over with”, because you might catch feelings and if they don’t feel the same towards you? It could be a frustrating/painful experience.
-You might be disappointed. Sleeping with someone can be so awesome… or so terrible. There are so many variables, so think about what your expectations are and talk them through with the person you want to sleep with. (if you’re not comfortable talking it through, they may not be the right person.
-Be safe, use protection, see a doctor and ask about birth control, HPV vaccines, etc.
-Lastly, my best friend Alex has an expression “if you have to ask….”. Meaning if you have to ask about something that means you already know the answer (i.e. if I have to ask if my skirt is too short, then it probably is). In the same like manner, if you’re looking outside of your twosome for guidance on your comfort level with intimacy, maybe that’s not the most comfortable twosome for you to be intimate in? Maybe there someone out there who is not just willing but ABLE to enjoy this milestone with you, hold your hand and make you feel good about yourself before/during/after… just a thought!
Okay my lovelies, help me out here… what advice do you have for PB? What do you wish someone had told you before you started sleeping with people? Chime in below!

Big Girls are More than Maternal Figures …Thoughts?

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Dating

Before we jump into todays post, thanks to everyone who is a part of the #PSPfit bootcamp. We’ve got a few walk-in tickets for any girls who want to come workout with us and get the clean eating packet for the week. Join us, Get your $20 tix here.

Now for todays post:

My girl @FeministaJones is a great twitter personality who has a lot going for her, she used to be a lot bigger than she is so its fun to tweet with her about +size problems. Last night she got me all turned up when she called out subtle fat prejudice by tweeting this:

 

Hopefully you get her humor and see that she’s calling out the people who have Plus Size Princesses in their lives because we’re “safe” and make them feel good about themselves.

Yes, she said it and I echo the sentiment.

For many people, a Plus Size Princess is a safe friend. A PSP is the girl you go out with because it automatically makes you the hot chick. Is it something that’s done on purpose? I’m not sure. But ask any PSP who has lost a significant amount of weight, some of the relationships with their female friends did not survive once they slimmed down. Hmmmm.

My main fascination with this is how people refuse to acknowledge that Plus Size Princesses can have a romantic/sexual life. When I was auditioning for roles in theater, I was constantly cast as the “Mom”, the “Teacher”, the “Aunt”… even if I could sing the part of the girlfriend, my size made it impossible for casting directors to see me as an object of desire.

This type of thinking floods back into the real world and my relationships with my female friends. I am safe. It reminded me of something that happened a few years ago, so I tweeted the story to @FeministaJones:

Am I a trustworthy friend? Sure. Was I attracted to her boyfriend? Absolutely not. But think about it, if I had a Kim Kardashian body, do you think my girl would send her boyfriend to sleep over at my apartment for a few days without her? That request helped me see that for many women I’m very much a non-factor. “Lets see if you can stay with CeCe” is the same to them as “Lets see if you can stay with my Aunt Glenda”.

For many people I’m just this warm maternal figure who will take care of them and anyone around me (this happens to be true I’m a first-born and a Cancer) but to ignore that I’m also a sexual being capable of desire and being desired is to ignore my femininity and my womanhood.

…and there you have it. Thanks @languishlita for making it plain!

Thoughts? Chime in below!

“Tigger”, “Tenderheart” & Other Characters Who’ve Hit on Me

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Dating

“Look, Tigger!” my baby sister cried out as we made our way through Disneyland.

I was 15 and Denise, my middle sister was 11. Disneyland is fun no matter how old you are, but Nikki, our baby sister had just turned 4, so the park was super magical for her and she was running the show. When she spotted Tigger frolicking near the bushes, we immediately rushed over to take a picture with him and our parents followed with the camera. We huddled around him, I ended up on his left side while my sisters were on the right. Tigger put his arms around us as we posed. Just as my Dad began snapping photos, I heard a whistle from inside Tiggers costume.

You know, the “hey hot stuff” whistle… WhoooHoooooooo! I thought I was hearing things, but immediately after Tigger whistled, his furry paw began to gently rub the small of my back. Being a teen Plus Size Princess, I was very insecure about my body, so having someone touch me so intimately made me tense up. The fact that it was a stuffed animal? Well that made it even more awkward. I couldn’t believe it, looking back I should have said something. I should have let someone know that I was being sexually harassed by someone from The Hundred Acre Wood, I mean… we all know that Tigger is a little feisty, bouncing on that tail and carrying on, but this was too much.

When I was a voluptuous 16, our family was at a college basketball game, we had good seats so when the Mascot came out to hype of the crowd he was very close to us. I was on the end texting my latest crush when suddenly the furry mascot was beside me on one knee “acting shy”. I looked up, saw him and laughed, thinking it was a quick moment and part of his routine, but he kept going… he took my hand, kissed it and then nodded out to the crowd. He kissed my hand again and then reached up to touch my hair… I suddenly realized that the mascot was legit flirting with me, I think my parents realized it at the same time, because my Mom yelled at the mascot “She’s SIXTEEN!” The Mascot threw his hands in the air and scurried away.

Fast Forward three years, I’m 19 and at my first Halloween Parade in New York City. As we watched the crazy characters march down sixth avenue, there was a Care Bear, Tenderheart to be exact, skipping down the street. “Awww I LOVE Care Bears!” I said to my friend. Tenderheart must have heard me because he broke away from the crowd with his arms outstretched to hug us. As his arm went around me, his hand made a pit stop on my left boob, giving it a little squeeze. “Gross!!! get outta here, Tenderheart!” I yelled and he dashed away before I could knock his furry head off.”

From that moment, I’ve avoided people in Mascot costumes like the plague.

I was telling these and other crazy mascot stories to my bff Alex last night (Yes, I have more mascot stories, smh). Alex brought up a good point, “You know the guys inside those costumes, they do what they want because they’re anonymous…” he said.

What he said got me thinking… why am I such a target for people inside of mascot costumes?

I’m going out on a limb here, but I think it boils down to a few things:

Philosopher, Michael Foucault and feminist writers like Laura Mulvey talk about the “Power of the Gaze” it’s an interesting concept that I think all women should research. I’m no expert, but I’m going to do my best to explain it a bit: Think about when you catch someone looking at you, or staring at you… that moment when you quickly look away puts that person in a dominant position. Now what if you look or stare back at them… don’t you feel like you’ve regained a bit of control/power in the situation?

Lets take that to the next level when someone is staring at you and you don’t know it (i.e. a peeping tom) the fact that they can watch you but you can’t see/watch them back creates a skewed power dynamic that’s even more intense than if they were staring at you openly on the train or in the street. In my opinion, Mascots have that type of power. That anonymity that Alex mentioned gives them a space to act out towards women from a safe and powerful place.

Now lets add the element of me being a Plus Size Princess. We all know that there are a good amount of men who are attracted to big girls but don’t want to admit it. They keep their desire for a PSP under wraps for whatever reasons and if they do get involved with a PSP, they work hard to keep it a secret (late night visits, no actual dates, etc.) Do you see where I’m going with this?

I can’t help but wonder if I’ve had all these crazy run-ins with Mascots because I’m a Plus Size Princess. I mean, a Mascot costume is the perfect hiding place for a secret chubby chaser. Instead of sitting in a dark room with the laptop and a BBW images, they can get up close and personal with their secret desire while keeping their identity hidden. Tigger can rub his paws all over me, Tenderheart can give The Twins a squeeze and then they can take off the big head, go have drinks with their buddies and talk about how hot some skinny girl is.

But then again, maybe its just me. Maybe I just attract the toothless, the homeless and now… the mascots.

Have any of you ever had a weird experience with a Mascot?

P.S. Registration for the #PSPfit Clean Eating & Fitness Bootcamp closes in FOUR DAYS, don’t forget to sign up!

Registration is Open! #PSPfit Clean Eating & Plus Size Fitness Bootcamp

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Fitness

Lets take the 6 weeks before Memorial Day to work with a professional Nutritionist on Clean Eating & a professional Trainer on Fitness… Are you in? Sign up today! Registration ends on April 12th.

Purchase your NYC Membership here

Purchase your Virtual (Non NYC/International) membership here

Details:

#PSPfit Boot Camp – New York City

  • 6 in-person Clean Eating Nutrition Sessions with Abra Pappa
  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • 6 in-person Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly
  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook
  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans
  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)
  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt
  • Weekly Giveaways
  • $3,000 in Prizes (based on participation, not pounds lost

#PSPfit Boot Camp – Virtual (US and International)

  • Weekly “Clean Eating” Facebook Chats with CeCe & Abra Pappa
  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • Virtual Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly, via YouTube & Vimeo
  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook
  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans
  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)
  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt
  • Weekly Giveaways
  • $3,000 in Prizes (based on participation, not pounds lost )

Questions? fitness@thebiggirlblog.com

Brazilian Waxing as a Plus Size Princess

Filed Under: Beauty, Curvy Conversations

Plus Size Princesses can get Brazilian Waxes just like anyone else. I got my first one when I went to Miami a few years back. At first I was scared to have someone all in my “nooks and crannies”, but I found aestheticians that I (and my lil’ CeCe) are comfortable with and I’ve been hooked ever since. There is a lot about Brazilian Waxing that people won’t tell you so… I thought I’d share the in depth conversation I had with my twitter PSP’s about “going to Brazil”.

P.S. Don’t forget to register for the #PSPfit Clean Eating & Fitness Bootcamp!

 

 


Your #PSPfit Bootcamp Invitation! (& FAQ’s)

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Fitness, PSP in NYC

You’re officially invited to sign up for the #PSPfit Pre-Summer Bootcamp!

I’m very excited for the support system we’re creating… So far we’ve had people sign up from all over the US, Canada and the UK!

80% of weight loss is what you eat and clean eating has really resonated with my body (I’ve lost 12 pounds in four weeks!). Our #PSPfit bootcamp is six weeks of professional nutrition/fitness guidance from Nutritionist, Abra Pappa and Trainer, Anthony Truly. I know how expensive nutritionists and gym memberships can be, so I’m happy that I can make these things accessible to all of us at a super discounted rate.

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The #PSPfit Pre-Summer Bootcamp will be 6 weeks of clean eating and fitness from April 15th-May 27th. For our NYC members, we will have weekly in person meet-ups on Saturdays from 2-4pm (that means SIX workouts with a trainer and SIX sessions with a nutritionist!) For my US/International PSP’s who can’t make it to NYC we’ll do six weekly nutrition sessions online and we’ve filmed a variety of fitness videos for you.

We’ve also got over $3,000 in prizes to giveaway. Want to see what you could win? Check out our sponsor list!

Lets take the 6 weeks before Memorial Day to really focus on Healthy Curves… Are you in? Sign up today! Registration ends on April 12th.

Purchase your NYC Membership here

Purchase your Virtual (Non NYC/International) membership here

You should consult your physician or other health care professional before starting this or any other diet program to determine if it is right for your needs.

#PSPfit Boot Camp – New York City

  • 6 in-person Clean Eating Nutrition Sessions with Abra Pappa

  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • 6 in-person Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly

  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook

  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans

  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)

  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt

  • Weekly Giveaways

  • Grand Prize Drawings (based on participation, not pounds lost)

#PSPfit Boot Camp – Virtual (US and International)

  • Weekly “Clean Eating” Facebook Chats with CeCe & Abra Pappa

  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • Virtual Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly, via YouTube & Vimeo

  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook

  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans

  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)

  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt

  • Weekly Giveaways

  • Grand Prize Drawings (based on participation, not pounds lost )

FAQ’s

Is #PSPfit only for big girls? I’m skinny but I want to join!  #PSPfit is open to any women who want to embrace their bodies and focus on their health

What dates/times will the NYC Sessions be held? Saturdays from 2-4pm in Manhattan

If I can’t make every session in NYC, can I catch up in the virtual class? Yes! NYC participants have access to the private online groups as well

I don’t have facebook or twitter, can I still join? Email us ASAP and we can work something out fitness@thebiggirlblog.com

What is “Clean Eating”? Clean eating is avoiding all processed food, relying on fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains instead of prepackaged or fast food.

Can men join #PSPfit? Sorry guys, this is for the ladies…

Do I have to stop doing Weight Watchers? No, but I think you’ll find that Clean Eating helps you eat more while using fewer points

Do you have a question not covered above? email: fitness@thebiggirlblog.com

#PSPfit Boot Camp, Because 80% of Weight Loss is What You Eat

Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Fitness, PSP in NYC, TBGB News

The effects of Clean Eating and fitness are undeniable, I’ve lost 12 pounds in four weeks by working with a Nutritionist and hitting the gym consistently. As I mentioned before, these things can be very expensive and while I’m at a place where I can make a full investment in my health, not everyone can afford that right now. I’ve been working to find a way to make professional weight loss/nutrition/fitness guidance available for all of my Plus Size Princesses and I’m happy to say that I’ve figured out a way to make that happen… so mark your calendars!

From April 15th – May 27th, we will be doing a #PSPfit Boot Camp with weekly giveaways. This boot camp will be a super affordable way to give all of us access to a Nutritionist and Trainer for the six weeks leading up to summer! (Space is limited, for early bird notification and pricing sign up here).

There will be two #PSPfit Boot Camp groups, one for the PSPs who live in the New York City/Tri-State area and another for US/International PSPs.

Here’s what your membership will get you:

#PSPfit Boot Camp – New York City 

  • 6 in-person Clean Eating Nutrition Sessions with Abra Pappa

  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • 6 in-person Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly

  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook

  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans

  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)

  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt

  • Weekly Giveaways

  • Grand Prize Drawings (based on participation, not pounds lost)

#PSPfit Boot Camp – Virtual (US and International)

  • Weekly “Clean Eating” Facebook Chats with CeCe & Abra Pappa

  • “Eating to promote weight loss with PCOS” Guide
  • Virtual Fitness Sessions with Trainer, Anthony Truly, via YouTube & Vimeo

  • “What is Clean Eating?” Guidebook

  • Weekly Recipes and Meal Plans

  • Private Facebook Group Access (Daily Inspiration, Support and Accountability)

  • Free #PSPfit Tshirt

  • Weekly Giveaways

  • Grand Prize Drawings (based on participation, not pounds lost )

Feel free to email fitness@thebiggirlblog.com with ANY questions you may have.

Be the first to sign up, send me your email here!

Giveaways Provided By:

Xersion, Activewear by JC Penney

Lola Getts Active, Plus Size Workout Gear

Nutritious America

Little Lime Dress, +Size Personal Styling

SimplyBe USA

BodyMedia Heart Rate Monitors

Squeem, Waist Cinchers

Tera’s Whey, Protien Powder

BarePlus Bras, by Bare Necessities

BeQue Juice, Green Juice Delivery

Don’t forget we’re sending early bird pricing and registration, soon. Click here to sign up for notifications!

You should consult your physician or other health care professional before starting this or any other diet program to determine if it is right for your needs.

About Me

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Hi, I'm CeCe! My New York City adventures as a Plus Size Princess are chronicled on this blog. Enjoy! xoxo [More]



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