Hey CeCe,

I’m a huge fan of yours. I look forward to reading your blog every week. It’s been hard for me because I’m a plus size teenager. I was really lost because I didn’t love myself or think that I could look cute being plus size. One day I googled “plus size blogger” and you came up! I fell in love with you and your words and I have looked at myself differently ever since.

So my problem is I really like this guy who goes to my church. He cute and that’s really all I can tell you about him because I have never talked to him. Is that weird? In a way I think I know him because of his father (the pastor of the church) so I’m going crazy here. I don’t know how these things work, I have never had a boyfriend or anything because guys don’t look at the big girl and if they do, they don’t want others to know.

I don’t know if he would date a plus size girl (or even date a black girl). I guess I just want to see if there could be anything there for me.So anything you have for me would be LOVED!!! and HEPLFUL!!!

Hello my little Plus Size Princess,

Reading your note made me tear up a little! I’m so glad that TBGB can help your self esteem in some small way.

(You have a crush on the pastors son, huh? Now you’re going to have “Son of a Preacher Man” stuck in my head all day!) I’m a little nervous about giving advice like this to a teenager because I feel like high school is the time to have fun and focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish for college etc., but I also remember what it was like to crush on a guy from far away… it can drive a girl crazy! So, I’ll give you my two cents and hopefully some other PSP’s will share their wisdom with you also.

Often times as girls we judge ourselves on whether we have a boyfriend or not and I think that’s kind of ridiculous. When I was in high school, I always had guys calling me and dates to the proms but I didn’t have a “boyfriend” and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

If I were in your position, here’s what I would do: I would focus on becoming friends with your crush. So far, you like him based on what you see not what you know about him. Get to know him if you can (perhaps join a youth group that he’s a part of, or make a point of saying hello to him after service) this way if it turns out he’s a jerk, you wont waste time on him.

If you find out he’s a good guy and your friendship blossoms, I would wait and see what he does. In my experience when a guy likes you, he will let you know. Either he will ask for your phone number, add you on facebook or ask you to hang out. Then you can take it from there.

I just want you to take things slow and focus on making him a friend first (friends make the best boyfriends anyway).

Were you able to read last weeks post about PSP’s and attractive men? The comments will assure you that there are curvy women all over the world who are dating cute boys and when the time is right, you will be one of them….

Keep us posted!

xoxo,

CeCe

P.S. Any additional comments from other PSP’s who have been in her shoes? Feel free to chime in!

Living in New York City, I have to have clothes for Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. I also have to have clothes for the transitional weeks in between each season. In a few weeks it won’t be warm enough to go without a jacket but at the same time it won’t cold enough to wear a huge coat.

I used to wear denim jackets and scarves during this time of year, but sometimes that look is too casual. So I’ve been looking for a light jacket and came across this cloak.

Usually coats can be tricky to size, since I have to consider bulky sweaters and scarves underneath, but this cloak gives lots of versatility because its constructed with a wide opening. I considered ordering this a size up, but I decided to go with my exact size and when it arrived it was perfect (I ordered it in black).

When I was enjoying the mild California winter over Christmas, I wore it with long sleeve cardigans underneath and it was just the right thing. This makes me very excited to wear it during the spring in New York!

Two things happened to me last week that bothered me, I mean really bothered me. I’m going to give you the two scenarios and then I’m going to try my best to explain why I was so annoyed:

Thursday: My girlfriend Kayla invited me to have drinks with a few girls from her grad school program. We met up at a hotel bar for happy hour and Kayla, who just moved to New York from California, was asking us about New York Men. As we all shared our thoughts on men in the city that never sleeps. Suddenly, one of her friends paused the conversation, “wait a minute… Kayla, what kind of guys are you attracted to?”

Kayla laughed, “well, that’s the problem! The guys that have been approaching me since I moved here are not my type!”

“What’s your type?” I asked.

“I really prefer a guy that’s kind of… round, like… chubby,” she took a breath “the guys in New York obviously spend a lot of time in the gym, which is great. But, I like a guy with love handles!”

“Oh,” her friend stammered, “that’s not at all what expected you to say! That’s weird… you like chubby guys even though you’re like HOT!” then her friend looked at me “I mean– not that hot people can’t be attracted to chubby people– but, I dont know that’s interesting!”

Fast Forward to Sunday: I was catching up on my DVR and lo and behold there was a plus size Millionairess on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker named Robin. If you didn’t see the episode, you should watch it. Robin is pretty clueless which makes for the kind of train wreck episode that you can’t stop watching. I’m not going to recap the entire episode but in a nutshell, Robin is only interested in dating someone that is super attractive. Common interests? A good heart? those things are not important to her. She just wants someone who looks like Matthew Mcconaughey.

When the “Matchmaker”, Patti, heard that Robin ( who’s easily a size 24) wanted to date someone who looked like Matthew Mcconaughey her reaction was to focus on how “superficial” Robin was and then to ask what made Robin think that she “deserved” a Matthew Mcconaughey look-alike.

*deep sigh*

After these two incidents, my mind has been swirling with “Why’s”. I’m going to try to organize them here, hopefully I make sense, here goes:

• Why can’t a Plus Size Princess “deserve” an attractive guy? I would love to know the equation to find out who “deserves” who as a mate. The word “deserves” implies that attractive people are worth more as human beings, which is absurd. People are soooo much more than their looks! I believe that I deserve a guy with a good heart, winning personality who cares about me and if that guy happens to look like a Calvin Klein model and I don’t, that doesn’t mean I deserve him any more/less than the next girl. If you end up watching the episode, you’ll see that the most attractive guy in the room was not a good person! So, no one really deserved to be with him.

• Why is it that the minute a plus size girl expresses ANY kind of physical desires in her mate, she’s considered superficial or shallow? I know that being overweight is considered by many to be the ultimate human offense, but… when a woman gains weight she doesn’t have to gain an “I’ll take what I can get” mentality. We all have things that turn us on/off and that’s okay. I’ll tell you what Plus Size Princesses do “deserve”: PSP’s deserve to be in a relationship where there is MUTUAL ATTRACTION. A fat girl with preferences is not “picky”, “shallow” or “superficial”.

• Why was the idea of my friend Kayla (who is gorgeous, with the perfect hour glass shape) liking a chubby guy so outrageous? She didn’t say she liked serial killers, she said she liked love handles! Give me a break.

• Why is it that even though I have strong opinions about this stuff… I’m still surprised when hot guys flirt with me at the gym?

Thoughts???

A few nights after my conversation with Robert, I had some girl friends over for wine and chocolate (one of my favorite combinations!) After catching up on work, apartment hunts and diets the subject turned to men and relationships. As we caught up on everyone’s current situation, we started talking about titles. Something I found interesting was that everyone has a different definition of the titles we associate with the opposite sex.

Here are mine:

Talking: I’m not sure if this is a California thing but for me, the “talking” phase is the time frame between meeting a guy that you’re interested in and actually going on a date with him. This is the time full of phone calls, texts, emails etc. but no face time.

Dating: When two people who are interested in each other begin to spend time together. Dating can include all the elements of Talking in addition to outings. One person dating multiple people at the same time is not considered cheating.

Relationship: When two people decide to only Date each other. Some call this Exclusivity. Being in a relationship with multiple people at the same time is considered cheating.

Courting: When two people are showing each other who they are and what they have to offer in the spirit of longevity. This is kind of an old fashion term, but I feel like if you’re on the track to marriage, courting is an important part of Talking, Dating and Relationships.

These are my brief definitions… did I miss anything? How do you define dating, relationships, etc.?

Living in New York City is such an inspiration. I love soaking up the fashion from around the city and adapting it to fit my own style. As the temperatures have been dropping, I’ve found myself trying to find flirty outfits that are still warm and cozy. I feel like some of the Lower East Side Hipster girls rock this look so effortlessly and although I don’t plan on running around in black skinny jeans, thankfully its becoming easier to find womens plus size clothing and I have found my own version of a hipster look with a dress from Lucie Lu

I ordered the Orla Dress from Lucie Lu in Vintage Grey because grey is an awesome neutral color. I guess you could say that “grey is the new black”.

I love the relaxed fit of this ruffled dress, the buttons down the front don’t pull and the belt that comes with it is a great length for bows in the front or back. This vintage style is great with tights, leggings, boots or heels and I can’t wait until the summer when I can wear it with bare arms and legs! Until the weather gets warm, this is how I’ve been wearing it. Hopefully this will give you some ideas too!

 

It was a rainy Tuesday night and Robert and I were huddled under his umbrella walking through midtown to one of our favorite restaurants. Our dinner that night was a last minute decision after work, but it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to get things off my chest.

We made small talk for a while as we waited for our food. I took a few small sips of wine and tried to remember the speech I’d been preparing but I couldn’t, so I took a deep breath and jumped right in, while praying that my words would make sense.

“So… I’ve been thinking– I date a LOT, but its hard for me to fully pursue things with other guys because of what I have with you.”

I took a breath and kept going, “I know you’re not like, my ‘boyfriend’, but I feel like we’re more than ‘friends’ and… we’re in this kind of… like, grey area… so I just figured I should bring it up, you know– so we could like, talk about it.”

(Yes, I say “like” a lot when I’m nervous.)

When I finished stumbling through my speech Robert just stared at me, stunned. He didn’t say anything for what felt like hours. “I think what you’re asking is completely fair,” he began. “I’ve been thinking that we should have this conversation too….”

“Okay,” I replied slowly.

“I like you… a lot, and lately I feel like my feelings for you have been getting stronger…” I nodded quietly as Robert continued.

“I’ve been holding off from starting a relationship since my last one ended because relationships are hard work, but you constantly make me reconsider that,” he said, looking me in my eyes.

“So, why have you held back?” I asked.

“Because relationships are hard work…”

My heart sank, “so you don’t want us to be in a relationship.”

“I do want us to be in a relationship, but I think our timing is important. We have something, I just want to make sure we don’t mess it up, so I think we should take some time and figure things out… together.”

As we began to talk through what we wanted and what we needed, I started to realize something about myself. Although I date constantly, an exclusive relationship isn’t something that I have a lot of experience with. I assumed a relationship meant that Robert and I would hang out, make out but basically keep things exactly as they were. Robert brought new things to my attention. He said that if he were in a relationship with me, he would begin to take me into consideration when making decisions and it wouldn’t only be about “him” and “me”, but it would be about “us”.

I hadn’t considered any of those things… to me that type of thinking comes more with living together or marriage, but if Robert takes relationships that seriously, I would need to asses myself and see if I was up to the task. When I broached the topic of a relationship with Robert, I thought it was something I was ready for, but now I wondered if I needed to slow down a little bit.

Luckily Robert was ready and willing to give me (I mean… us) time….

Happy New Year Lovelies! I have not been keeping you in suspense on purpose regarding the Robert situation. I got really sick and ended up in the hospital for days. I don’t really feel like going into detail right now, but I will be fine. I’m just thanking God that I’m still here. Anyway, I’m easing back into things here on TBGB so I will begin with an update from my California trip and we will pick back up with my dating escapades next week. Thanks for being so patient! xoxo

I’ve been a huge fan of Kiyonna for a long time and as a Plus Size Princess, I give them a lot of props for being a pioneer of stylish, sexy plus size fashion when no one was even thinking about young PSP’s (you can read Kiyonna’s history here).

So after spending two hours in LA traffic, I finally made my way to the Kiyonna flagship boutique in Anaheim, CA. I was really looking forward to spending time with Vanessa, who a lot of you might know from the Kiyonna videos on Facebook. Surprisingly the entire Kiyonna team is lovely and full of energy.

Before I talk about the two dresses I fell in love with, let me say that I don’t consider myself “curvy” or “plump”, I am a big girl! So I never expect plus size dresses to look the same on me as they do when the plus size models are wearing them. But there is something about the way that the Kiyonna dresses are made… they are sized to perfection, so that when a girl like me who has a belly and big boobs tries them on the dresses hit me the same way as they do in the photos on the

models its so refreshing! So for those of you who worry about making an online purchase, if you know your sizes, you will be fine!

I immediately gravitated toward the “Flaunt Cocktail Dress” and the “Monaco Maxi Dress” and trust me, it was hard to choose just one.

But when I tried on the Monaco Maxi, I knew that I had to have it! This is the most flattering maxi dress that I have EVER worn. I’m 5’10 and I can’t stand when a maxi dress barely reaches my ankles… the Monaco Maxi is loooong and comfortable. The other awesome thing about it is that it has sleeves which makes it versatile for summer or winter.

I’ve worn this dress twice now, both times paired with knee high boots (flat or stiletto boots work) I put my hair up and kept the accessories simple with big silver hoop earrings. It was a nice winter BoHo look and I felt like a goddess!

Vanessa said the dress would make me feel like I was wearing pajamas and she was right. Slimming, adorable pajamas that are work or date appropriate… I love it!