Okay, this really isn’t a RANT, its more like a random thought… here goes!

I was chatting with some of my (skinny) girlfriends over brunch the other day, “complaining” about how and when men choose to approach us. One of my girls brought up a situation where a trainer at her gym was bothering her each week, insisting on giving her free training sessions. A few of the other girls chimed in with similar stories.

As they went on and on about turning down personal training sessions, I realized that this was something I had never experienced.

Aside from a crazy stalker who almost followed me into the women’s locker room when I was a member of Bally’s, I have to admit that I have never been hit on at the gym. As I am pumping away on the treadmill or elliptical I often watch trainers in their bright colored T-shirts walk over to women and help them or talk to them. But I always assumed that they were clients. Listening to my friends made me realize that some trainers are scanning the gym floor and deciding who they should offer their services to based on looks.

Honestly, I can’t be mad at them. I know when I’m at work, I only flirt with guys I find attractive, but I’m just wondering from a financial perspective why it hasn’t hit these guys to branch out.

I could be wrong, but I thought the point of the free training session was not to get dates, but to grow your client list and ultimately, to make money. So, instead of approaching the svelte fitness model chick, who really doesn’t need your help to maintain her body. Wouldn’t it make more sense for these guys to approach the girl who obviously has some weight to loose and a greater need to purchase their services?

It was a brisk Friday night in the city and I was on a first date.

It had gone well; dinner, bowling and now Tyson was walking me home. Our chemistry wasn’t fireworks, but I saw potential and I needed someone (anyone!) to make me feel like letting go of Jeremy was a good choice.

I know I can be traditional (sometimes to a fault). Waiting for the man to call… to ask me out… to move things forward, etc. So I decided I would do my best not to hold Tyson to my normal high standards. I ignored it when he didnt rush to open doors for me. I was pleasantly surprised when he paid for everything and I hid my annoyance as we walked home and he let me walk on the outside (closest to the traffic).

When we got to my apartment, things went as they usually do after a first date. There was nervous chatter, a few awkward pauses and then I said “Well, I had fun!” That’s when Tyson did something unexpected. He looked at me for a moment and said “You did? Hmmm… You’re really hard to read.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are… most girls are pretty obvious when they like a guy.”

“I guess I’m not like most girls…”

He Nodded. “So, what do you think about this… about, us?”

I didnt know what to do, I had never been asked how I wanted to move forward before and I didnt like it. I would have prefered a simple hug/kiss and a goodnight, to wait a few days and voila! he’d call me… this was hard! It was then that I remembered my comitment to do things differently, to step away from my rules and traditions. My stomach tightened:

“I– I like you, I think, um, I think that this is good! I would like to see you again.” I wanted to frown, but remembered to smile.

“Great!” He replied and swept me up in a big long hug. He kissed me on the cheek, watched me as I entered my building. 30 minutes later I got a text message “I’m home”, I replied with “thanks again, I had fun”, to which he sent a “:-)”

This was over a month ago, and I never heard from Tyson again. This is why I hate putting myself out there. Why would he ask me what I thought if he knew he wasnt really that interested? It doesnt make any sense to me! Did he just want an ego stroke?

Of course it was easy to express myself to Tyson because I was indifferent about dating him. He was more of an excersize, but what about when a guy who I am seriously interested in asks me how I feel? This is just another reason I feel like it makes more sense to let the guy take the lead in matters of the heart.

Thoughts???

BBW parties arent something that you can find everywhere, so I thought I’d offer a glimpse into a night on The Scene. The different BBW parties, which I call “Divas”, “Rewind” and “Satellite” respectively all have a different crowds. On this particular night, I was at Rewind.

Its always nice to see PSP’s dressing to show off their curves, on any given night, you will see form fitting dresses, mini skirts and low cut tops.

The DJ is always good at “Rewind” (“Divas” is a different story, since their DJ is an older man who seems a bit out of touch). But at “Rewind” you will always find a place to groove either in the Hip-Hop or Reggae room.

The clubs on the scene are very accepting… there’s not a lot of pretentiousness like you’d find at other NYC clubs. Everyone is welcome…

…and I mean EVERYONE!

People come to have a good time and dance, but who knows, you may just find love in the club!

Good Morning Class!

I’m not sure how many guys read TBGB, but if you’re a male and attracted to PSP’s, then this lesson is for you.

Last night I was at a birthday party in the East Village. The place was tiny, the DJ was good and I looked cute in dark wash jeans and a yellow strapless top with a sweetheart neckline. I was dancing with friends when a guy gently grabbed my wrist. I let him pull me away from my friends for a dance. That’s when he pulled me close and quickly ruined the moment by whispering in my ear: “I loooove big girls”

I know I am big… I know it! There is no need for you to remind me of my size when you are hitting on me. I can bet that none of my skinny friends have had a man tell them “I loooove small women”. You are stating the obvious! I am smart enough to gather that if you are approaching me, you don’t have a problem with my size. So there is no need to say things like:

“I like a girl with meat on her bones”, “Big girls need love too” or to refer to how much smaller you are (i.e. “you don’t mind a skinny guy like me?”)

All of these things make me feel like a freak show, a fetish, a play thing. Now that I think about it… if you’re approaching me like that, maybe that’s how you actually see me.

But if you really want to get to know me, leave my size out of it. Trust me, if you give me the proper romantic attention I will understand your attraction to my body.

Class Dismissed.