I hopped on the scale this morning and it didn’t budge. I’m still down 2 pounds from last week, but I didn’t lose anymore… boo!

I only got in 2 workout sessions this week because I haven’t been feeling well and my eating could have been better, but I did wake up at 6am on Monday to get another session of running in which was good.

Anyway, I’m kinda bummed about not losing weight this week, but I’m going swimming tonight after work. I have to stay motivated even though I didn’t do so well this week…

I hope you guys did better than me!

This Weeks Work Outs: 2
Pounds Lost: 2 out of 20
Weekly Goal: lose 3-4 pounds to offset this weeks slump.

Hello Lovelies,

I was talking to some bloggers the other day and one of them mentioned to me that I should think of my blog as a home where people come to visit. I loved that analogy, until I realized that my “home” was a mess could really use some renovations!

I just wanted to give you all a heads up about the changes

xoxo,
CeCe

P.S. I was interviewed for the Single Edition website last week… you can read the article here!

As I walked into my apartment on Monday, the last thing I wanted to do was work out. I dropped my bag on my bed and collapsed next to it. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling and after taking a few minutes to breathe, I jumped up and got dressed to work out (I couldn’t skip a workout in the first week of Work Out Wednesdays!).

I made my way to my neighborhood park. The air was crisp, but not cold and being outside on a September evening started to feel really good. I walked as quickly as I could and I could feel my body wanting more, so I pumped my arms above my head to increase my heart rate. This was my third workout of the week and instead of feeling drained my body seemed to be wanting something more intense.

That’s when I remembered a comment on last weeks post from “G/W” who said:

CeCe, seriously. I mean this with all my heart- start running.I never thought I’d ever be able to run, it was one of the things “athletic” people do. But it’s one of those workouts that always challenges you because there’s always a goal to hit: running at X speed, running for X minutes, at X incline or beating X laps or X miles. And the weight just melts off.

So I ran. Well, I jogged… for like three minutes! It was the push my body needed My heart rate soared (in a good way) and I felt like I was pushing myself. I’m going to continue with this jogging/running idea, but I feel like I need to do some research on how to do it safely and correctly.

Anyway, this week was a good start. I got three work outs in instead of four, but I’ve really been watching my eating. So as of this morning, here’s where I am with my goals:

Work Outs: 3
Pounds Lost: 2
Next Weeks Goal: Jog and take a Yoga class

How did everyone else do?

I knew I wasn’t excited about my date on Saturday when I grabbed flats instead of heels.

Franklin had been calling and texting for the past week, (as he tends to do two or three times a year). I had been ignoring his calls answering his texts with vague answers like “maybe” and “I don’t know” thinking he would get the hint, but he was persistent and somehow I agreed to meet him for a movie in Times Square.

I met Franklin online three years ago. On paper we should be a match but… we’re just not. He’s very nice, I’m just not interested in him for a myriad of reasons like 1.) He talks about money 99% of the time and 2.) I’m not attracted to him.

Normally, I would blow Franklin off with a simple, “I’m busy” but Franklin caught me in a moment of weakness on Saturday. I had spent the day cleaning my apartment and letting the reality that Adrian was probably not going to resurface sink in. When Franklin called I convinced myself that attention from a man, any man, was better than no attention at all. So, I grabbed a chunky sweater, threw on some pearls and shoved my feet into a pair of flats.

The minute I walked into the movie theater, I knew it was a mistake. Franklin stood waiting for me with two tickets in hand and I was already annoyed. “CeCe, hey!” he wore a green polyester shirt with white swirls, brown pants and brown shoes with no socks. We were a little early for the movie, so while we sat in the dark theater he caught me up on things, “So, I have a new client and the guy who referred me to them said they could afford to pay double, so I marked up my fees and now I’m making so much money!”

I nodded, smiled and waited for the lights to go down, so I wouldn’t have to hear about how much money he was making. While the previews played I began to chastise myself CeCe, you’ve never been able to fake the funk, why are you trying now?!

I have never been able to date someone I wasn’t truly interested in, that’s why a second or third date is such a big deal for me. If I wanted a man in my life I could have one, there are plenty of interested parties, but I have to feel something in order to date someone.

I can’t fake the funk.

Hanging out with Franklin helped me realize that I’d rather be at home scrubbing my bathtub than out with a guy I have no interested in.

Side Note: For my NYC readers, I’ve got a giveaway going for an awesome event tomorrow night. If you’re interested, click here!

I’ve got a giveaway for my NYC Single Ladies…

I know its last minute, but I have a free ticket to the Live the Life You Love event on Tuesday, September 21st, co-sponsored by Single Edition and Hurry-Date at the Samsung Experience.

This is the first of a 3-part series, with presentations by Lisa Steadman, Yolanda Shoshana and Jeffrey Asher.

To enter this giveaway, leave a comment on this post (you can say anything . One woman will be chosen at random on September 20th

Good Luck!

Last Saturday I was talking to one of my (skinny)friends about my struggles with PCOS. “The best way to ensure I don’t have any of the extreme issues like diabetes or infertility is to keep my weight down,” I explained.

“Have you been working out lately?” she asked.

“Not as much as I should… I’d really like to lose 20 pounds before the year is up.”

“Okay,” she replied. “So what are you going to do about it?”

It was such a simple question, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

What am I going to do about my weight?

I’ve started to embrace my body and the fact that I will never be a size 2 (I probably wont even be a size 12) but I can make the most of what I have. I can get down to my ideal size, even if its still plus size. The most successful I’ve been was in programs (i.e. Weight Watchers) and I think the accountability was the thing that kept me in the gym, eating well etc.

So… I’m going to start Work Out Wednesday’s here on TBGB. I’m not sure exactly what it will look like as time goes on, but I will be logging my weekly progress on this weight loss thing. So, here goes:

This Weeks Work Outs: 1 (last night)
Pounds Lost: None (but next week will be different
Weekly Goal: 3 more work outs before next Wednesday!

I know I’m not alone, so I invite you to log your progress here too. I usually don’t respond in the comments section, but for this segment I will…

Maybe we can encourage each other?

When I was 12, boys would ball up napkins and toss them down my cleavage from across the lunch table.

When I was 14, a girl referred to my bra as an “over the shoulder boulder holder” in front of my entire acting class.

When I was 16, my friend pulled my bra out of my suitcase during an overnight trip and challenged my other classmates to guess what size I wore.

Why do people think that large breasts are something to be openly gawked at?

I know this isn’t just a plus size issue, since Dolly Parton has been a punchline since as long as I can remember and she’s definitely not a PSP.

A fellow blogger reminded me that as a petite person, she gets crazy comments about how small she is and its just as insulting as the comments I get about my size. Maybe its just having an extreme body that makes people think they can voice their opinions… but if I had an extra eyeball or something, would people be so open with their comments to me? Doubtful.

These days my bra label has enough “d’s” to spell words like “dedicated” and honestly, I love it. My “Twins” are probably the biggest perk of being a plus size princess. Boobs make your waist look smaller, make tops and dresses cuter and… they’re just fun! But sometimes I feel like my boobs are just a punchline.

Does anyone else struggle with this?

I often find myself jumping feet first into the ocean of love.

I don’t think to ask how deep the waters are or how swift the under tow is. I don’t even bother to grab a life jacket. I just take a leap of faith, with a false confidence that I will ride the waves unscathed. And yet, somehow, I end up drowning. My lungs expand with the pressure of promises unkept. I feel the sting of returned calls and questions are left unanswered, and I’m left to sink to the bottom… wondering.

Some people in my position would swear off swimming completely, but not me. I will continue to leap, but I have to look first. I can’t jump into relationships as recklessly as I have in the past because I’m not sure how many more false starts I can take.

Before Adrian left for a month, he tried to bring up the idea of exclusivity and I brushed it off. Some of you encouraged me to take a hard look at what I want, others reminded me that a month was not that long of a separation. Both are points that I’ve taken to heart and because of that I refuse to set Adrian and I up for disaster.

What I want is to be in a relationship with him, but instead of agreeing to exclusivity prematurely, I am going to take a moment and put on my love life jacket. I’m going to take things slow because, as many of you reminded me, “its just a month!”. Lets be honest; Adrian is going to the rural Forest to save an endangered species, I don’t think he’s going to have time or opportunity to date anyone else and I’m not particularly looking for anyone else at this point, so unless I run into Andy Roddick at the US Open or something… I will be ready to pick up where Adrian and I left off upon his return.

I left Adrian hanging on the whole exclusive thing because I didn’t want to set us up for disaster. Because of where he is, I wasn’t 100% sure that his promises to stay in touch could be fulfilled because I wasn’t sure what his Internet access would be. We were up until the early morning on his last night here, he called me right before his plane took off to tell me that he “missed me already” and that he’d email once he got settled.

Its been 2 weeks since he left and I haven’t heard from him. Not once.

Can you imagine what a wreck I would be if I had agreed to be his girlfriend and then didn’t hear from him for two weeks?!

Of course, I’m disappointed that he hasn’t kept in touch the way he said he would, but I have no idea what his circumstances are. So I just have to be patient and hope that there’s a good excuse for what is/isn’t going on.

In the meantime, self preservation is key for me. With Adrian I made sure to look before I took that leap and when I saw that it wasn’t the right time, I stayed where I was. When Adrian comes back, I’ll be more than happy to jump into things feet first.

But right now, I have to play it safe and I’m happy with my choices.