There I was, minding my own business in the grocery store on 116th street, when a woman approached me. “Excuse me, do you know about TendSkin?” I looked at her with a confused look on my face, which she took as a cue to continue. “TendSkin, it will help with those bumps,” she said with a kind smile and walked away.

“Those bumps” were the ingrown hairs that I was battling as a result of managing the hirsutism (excess hair) that comes with having PCOS. As much as I hate that I have to deal with hirsutism, I’m thankful that I don’t have hair growing on my face/cheeks as other PCOS women do, that’s got to be really frustrating. Anyway, I thought my hairy situation was under control, but the side effects to my regular hair removal was giving me ingrown hair bumps which also isn’t cute. I mean, if a lady in the grocery store noticed it… I needed to do better.

Fast forward a few months and I started getting brazilian waxes (yup, plus size brazilians are no big deal, I love them). The aesthetician encouraged me to exfoliate my “little CeCe” with a sugar scrub and moisturize her with an oil (not baby oil, it clogs pores down there and causes… in-growns!). I mentioned to a girlfriend that I was trying different scrubs to prevent in-growns after waxing and she told me that apricot scrub works really well for her.

Thus, my ingrown hair/shaving bump prevention routine was born! I use the following steps anywhere that hair grows, bikini area, underarms and my “PCOS hot spots” and it keeps me bump free!

Here’s my process:

Step 1: When I shave, I use a 5 blade razor so that I don’t have to go over the area too much. I’ve tried cheap 5 blade razors, but I find that Schick is the best brand.

Step 2: In between shaving/waxes, I scrub all areas with Apricot scrub. I think the acne fighting agents are what makes this work better for me than a plain sugar scrub.

Step 3: I moisturize any area that has been waxed or shaved with coconut oil. Coconut oil is great to use all over your body and in your hair!

Step 4: Tend Skin, this is basically a miracle product. Even if I’m traveling and skip the steps above for a while, Tend Skin keeps a girl bump/ingrown free until I’m back home with all of my supplies. I’ve started with the roll-on container, now I buy big bottles and refill as needed.

Do you get shaving bumps/in-growns? How do you manage them?

My phone chimed with a text message…

-I want to see you

It was Brian, the 6’4, chocolate-brown hottie I had given my number to in a random moment of super self-confidence.

It had been a week since our steamy first date, and we’d been talking on the phone and texting every day. I knew I had to be careful with Brian because our attraction was so intense. The chemistry we had in just our eye contact was enough to pull me out of my comfort zone and make me give him my number. The chemistry we had on the dance floor was enough to make me break my rules about first date kissing. I knew it was a slippery slope with him because I wanted him physically but I was looking for something more than just mutual attraction. I was ready for a relationship and I needed to make sure I got to know more about Brian before things went any further. I sent him a text back

-I’m free tonight, where do you want to go?

(Side Note: When I text a guy “what do you want to do?” 99% of the time it sends their mind straight to the gutter and I get a sexual response, but asking “where do you want to go?” lets them know that I’m looking for a get to know you/dating situation). He texted back:

-Lets go to the movies

-Cool, when do you want to pick me up?

-How about we just meet at the theater. 9pm?

I frowned a bit at him not wanting to pick me up properly, especially since he’d be passing my apartment in order to get to the theater downtown. But I brushed off my annoyance and agreed to meet him at 9pm.

Around 7:30, as I was getting out of the shower, I got a phone call, but it was “Private”. Normally I ignore blocked numbers but every once in a while curiosity gets the best of me,

“Hello?”

“Yeah, who’s number is this?” a woman’s voice answered.

“Excuse me?”

“Who’s number have I reached? What’s your name?” she pressed.

“You called my phone, so maybe you should let me know who you are…” I said slowly.

There was a pause.

“Do you know someone named Brian?” the voice said.

My heart dropped.

“No, sorry… I don’t,” I sighed.

“Are you sure?” she said, I could hear the exasperation in her voice. “I’m his girlfriend and I found this number in his phone.”

“I don’t know him,” I said. Which was the truth… two weeks of talking on the phone, a date and a make-out session clearly doesn’t mean you know a person.

There was no way I was going to act out some Brandy and Monica “The Boy is Mine” drama with this girl over Brian. She could have him. I hung up the phone, threw on my fuzzy robe, poured a glass of wine and curled up on my couch.

At 9:15 Brian started calling to see where I was, I ignored his calls. At 9:30, he sent a text.

-Hey gorgeous, are you close?

-Your girlfriend called me, good luck with that.

This weekend I hung out with Match.com and took a look at their Singles in America study with data from Dr. Helen Fisher. There was a lot of interesting information about how single people operate these days. Here are some of the facts that surprised me:

• 45% of people had a friends with benefits relationship turn into a long-term partnership Dr. Helen Fisher says that “Friends with Benefits” is emerging as the new pre-relationship status. Maybe that’s the true definition of  ”Its Complicated” on facebook! I’m not a big promoter of the whole FWB situation if you really want more from the person than the physical, but apparently its working for someone!
• 40% of people have fallen in love with someone they weren’t initially attracted to I found this to be fascinating as a Plus Size Princess because it might explain all the guys I’ve dated who never dated a PSP before. Some men are drawn to big women exclusively, some men would “never date a fat chick”… then there are those men who are attracted to all different types of women, depending on chemistry. We spend so much time as PSPs worrying that our looks take us out of the game, maybe it doesn’t matter as much as we think.
• 42% of men have shared the sext they received from a partner with others think twice before you hit send, there’s a good chance his friends will end up seeing your goodies!

What about you guys:

Ever had a friend with benefits turn into a boyfriend?

Ever fallen for someone who wasn’t ”your type”?

(and if you care to share) Ever had a sext end up in the wrong hands?

For more on the Match.com study, watch the video below!

I hope you guys are having a fabulous Valentines Day!

Mine is off to a great start, flowers from my Dad arrived yesterday (he’s my #1 Valentine) and Robert is doing a good job coming in second

I’m always a fan of a day devoted to love. I always take this day to remind myself that my relationship status has no bearing on my value as a person. I wrote a post called “I Haven’t Changed” a few Vdays ago where I reminded myself that having a boy in my life doesn’t change/validate me and it still rings true. I will continue to work on loving myself and keep my fingers that the people around me will do the same.

Now for today’s fashion! Don’t forget that I’m giving away FIVE prizes for the Plus Size Princess Style challenge (#PSPstyle). For details on how to enter/win click here!

Here’s my #PSPstyle outfit from last night and todays Valentines day festivities (you can’t tell but I’m wearing fishnets with a seam and cute little bows up the back… and an awesome bra/panty set from Lane Bryant):

Paisley Pink Dress by Igigi, everything else is available below!

Its Ash Wednesday!

I’m protestant, but Lent is something I’ve participated in seriously for a few years now.

The most intense sacrifice I’ve done so far was when I gave up bread. Going 40 Days without bread was eye-opening because it showed me how strong the PCOS hold is on my body. Not eating bread for 40 days made me a crazy person, but I’m glad I did it.

As I read about fasting as a spiritual practice, I’ve learned that weight loss might be a side effect, but it’s not the goal. The goal is to deny ourselves in an effort to get closer to God. For example, praying with every hunger pain during an absolute fast would increase my prayer life a WHOLLLLE bunch.

Because I have such a weird relationship with food, I find that my Lent sacrifices often center around what I consume. Denying myself certain foods/drinks works for me, but I have to remind myself that it’s not about the food/weight… on the other hand, some people practice Lent in order to lose weight.

So, a few questions:

-For those of you who do the Lent thing, do you choose things that will help you lose weight?

-For those of you who aren’t religious, do you join in on Lent in order to lose weight?

-What are you giving up this year?

p.s. I lost two more pounds this week… getting back on track!

I LOVE love, so naturally Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I have fun on Valentines Day even when I’m not dating anyone and a big part of that is dressing up.

To make Vday fun for all of my PSP’s, I’d like to kickstart something new: The Plus Size Princess Style Challenge (#PSPstyle). Think of #PSPStyle as the sister hashtag to #PSPfit, the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge. We’ve been taking pictures of ourselves all sweaty at the gym, now lets document when we’re looking our curvaceous best!

Here’s how to get your pics to me:

Facebook: Tag TBGB’s facebook page and once I get the notification, I’ll share your fabulous pic.

Twitter: Tweet your outfit pic to @thebiggirlblog #PSPstyle and I’ll RT

Instagram: Tag PlusSizePrincess #PSPstyle

#PSPstyle isn’t just for Valentines Day. From now on, whenever you post a cute pic on instagram or twitter be sure to tag #PSPstyle so that I can ReTweet/Repost your fun fashion style photos and award prizes when I can.

For the Valentines #PSPstyle challenge I’ve got FIVE prizes to give away: A $100 gift card to Igigi, a $50 gift card to Lane Bryant and 3 red satin bras from Just My Size.

The contest is open from 2/11-2/18 for those of you who celebrate Vday early or late. Enter as many times as you want, if you love your outifts every day tag them with #PSPstyle and send them on over! Here’s how to enter:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

As I walked across Eldridge street I had butterflies in my stomach. I’d been talking to Brian, the guy I gave my number to for a week and this was our first date. Brian had suggested that we go dancing at bOb, a hole in the wall dance club on the Lower East Side that plays hip hop and reggae until the wee hours of the morning.

As I approached the club, I saw a broad, 6’4 cutie waiting for me on the corner.

“Hi,” I smiled.

“Hi,” he pulled me in for a hug and I closed my eyes as he gave me a little squeeze. He took a step back, “you look good”.

“Thanks,” I felt good in a black and white mini dress and knee-high boots. My braids were pulled back into a ponytail and my face was done with bronzer, a smokey eye and clear lip gloss.

I was excited. The electricity I felt from across the counter in Urban Outfitters was even more intense as Brian took my hand and lead me into the crowded club. Without saying much, Brian took me into the middle of the dance floor and we started to move. The music at bOb, a tiny sweat box of a club, created a sultry mood. We danced all night, with Brian taking time out to buy me drinks from time to time.

The chemistry I had with Brian was great and as first dates went, this one was going very well. As the night went on I could feel my soft 5’10 inch frame melting into his solid 6’4 inch frame. His hands moved from my waist to my hips and back again as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Then I felt his hands push my ponytail to the side to make room for his lips on my neck.

You know that old school Mya song? The one when she sings “your lips are telling me yes when they’re kissing on my neck… should I stay? should I go? I don’t know!” I was basically having the real life experience of that song with Brian on the dance floor at bOb.

I was melting in his hands and it felt great, but I wanted more than something physical and I felt like if we got any closer, our chances of dating in the traditional sense would be ruined. It was getting late, so I told him I was ready to go home. I was hoping that by pumping the breaks, Brian and I could get to know each other more and take our time. He seemed cool about it, he hailed me a cab, handed the driver $40 to get me home and then leaned down into the back seat, his face hovering in front of mine.

“I had fun,” he whispered.

“Me too,” I said.

Then he kissed me.

Part Three, next week….