“I really want to make things work with her,” a male acquaintance of mine said during a birthday dinner. “Part of me wonders if I’m determined to make things work because I worked so hard to get her. I mean, I really chased her in the beginning.” He took a sip of his drink and I waited patiently for him to continue.

Its not often that I get to listen to a straight guy analyze his relationship, so I was all ears! (I won’t detail this guys relationship issues, but he’s got some very legit reasons why he’s working things out with his girl.) Anyway, he explained to me that he used his best “game” to get his girlfriend years ago. He had wined her and dined her and won her over, so even though things weren’t perfect now, the memories of what he had done to get her when they first met helped him to hold on now.

Of course as he spoke, my mind drifted to my relationship with Robert.

Robert and I were “just friends” for a very long time. The elements of a romantic relationship were always there, but no lines were crossed, ever. Those of you who have been with me through the whole “Um… Are We Dating?” story on this blog have watched the progression of CeCe & Robert from coworkers, to friendship to dating unfold. You also know how other guys treated me and I think in those other relationships (particularly with Kevin and Adrian) there was a stronger “chase” element.

Hmmm… I thought to myself, Robert didn’t really “chase” me… we just spent time together, became friends and things developed over time. Should I have made him work harder to “get me”? Do guys really need “the chase” to be fully vested in a relationship?

My male acquaintance continued to talk through his relationship issues. “But you know,” he continued “Because I spent so much time chasing her, we never became friends. We’re trying to build a solid friendship now, but its hard to go backwards. If I had come at things differently from the start, learned about her… what she likes… what she doesn’t like… and then seen where things went- I think our relationship now would be much better now.”

Whoa, I couldn’t help but smile, what he described is pretty much how things unfolded with Robert and me. By the time Robert and I went on our first date, he knew so much about me. And the more time we spend together, the more he learns. There is a comfort level that we have that didn’t exist with the guys that chased me, but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

It might not be as overt as when guys run game, but I see Robert work to impress me and make me happy and I appreciate it. When it comes to courtship, I think that being friends first has its pros and cons. But in relationships I’m starting to think that the friendship foundation is key.

At the end of the day, the guys who “put in work to get me” aren’t around anymore… and Mr. “Friends First”, Robert is still here, so maybe that’s my answer… time will tell.

Do YOU believe in being friends first?

Its Christmas Eve, I hope you’re all doing well today! Please continue to pray for the families in Newton, CT. my heart is still heavy for them.

This is my second Christmas dating Robert. Because our pace is sooo slow, last year I wasn’t sure if we were doing gifts and we ended up having a “did you get me something? Oh! I didn’t know we were doing that…” moment (awkward.). This year the idea of Christmas gifts wasn’t even a question. Robert and I have been casually mentioning getting gifts for each other for a few weeks and because I’m staying in NYC this year (I have family coming to me ) we’re getting together later today to exchange presents. Those of you who follow me on twitter already know what his present is, but I’ll update everyone on his reaction later *fingers crossed*.

Anyway, for those of you in relationships how do you determine when to give a Christmas gift to someone you’re dating? Do you give a gift when you feel like it? or do you try and find out if they intend to get you something first?

I really messed up last year, so I’m curious to know how other people avoid that misstep.

P.S. This year I will be posting the New Years outfits of TBGB readers… get your pics to me any way you can. Email them, tweet them to me, tag me on facebook/instagram. I will post the pics I get and hopefully feature some of you on a fashion recap post.

As the new year approaches, it means only one thing-New Years resolutions. If you’re single and dating, one resolution might be at the top of your list-you want to make 2013 the year you find love. A great way to jump-start your dating life in 2013 is with online dating.

Despite it being more popular than ever, some people are still hesitant to sign up for an online dating site. Maybe it seems like too much work or they just aren’t sure where to start. But if you’re tired of the bar and club scene, and frustrated with your friends futile attempts at “matchmaking”, maybe it’s time to take the leap to online dating, We Love Dates is the perfect place to start.

When selecting an online dating site, choose one that fits your needs and what you’re looking for in a date and a relationship. There are online dating sites that cater to specific ethic backgrounds, professions, locations or interests. Search for vegetarian dating, BBW dating and even brunette dating-the sky really is the limit.

Now that you’ve signed up for online dating, make sure you’re doing everything you can to get the most out of it! Read dating advice blogs for online dating tips and tricks. Some people upload a blurry photo and a one word sentence and then complain that nobody emailed them and declare that online dating doesn’t work. Don’t be afraid to show off your personality. The more you share, the more chances you give someone reading your profile to connect with you. Not every first online date is going to be a love connection, but don’t let a few bad dates deter you from your goal of finding the one.

Lastly, maintain an open mind. Instead of going in with a pre-defined list of qualities a date absolutely must have, lose the list and follow your heart. It’s crucial to have high standards when it comes to the people you date, but it’s equally important to make sure you aren’t limiting yourself in your search for love. Take charge of your New Years resolutions and make this the year you find the love of your life, or at least have a blast trying!

This morning Robert noticed that the price tags on my brand new sweater were visible through the knit. Too lazy to take the sweater off, I turned my back to him “Can you just tear it off?” I asked. He reached down the back of my top, carefully ripped the price tag and extra button off and handed it to me.

It wasn’t until an hour later that I realized I’d given him access to my clothing size without a second thought. For some of you this might sound like nothing, but for me its a huge deal. Not only because I let him see what size I wore, but because I’ve always had a very strange relationship with clothing tags.

You see up until the past year or so, none of my clothes had tags on them. I’m not talking about the price tags, everyone takes those off. I’m talking about the tag with a number on it that identifies what size dress/pants/sweater you have. For as long as I can remember I would rush home after a shopping trip, grab the scissors and cut the sizes off of everything I bought. The numbers 18… 20 … or 24 had no place in my closet (even if they applied to me) so I cut the numbers off as a way of pretending that I wasn’t that size.

Silly, I know… but it’s what I did.

Denial feels really good sometimes.

So fast forward to this morning… with Robert removing my forgotten price tag. As I went to throw it away, I had to pause and acknowledge how far I’ve come in accepting myself as a Plus Size Princess. Not only did I purchase the sweater last night and skip my size cutting ritual, but I let the guy I’m dating remove the tag for me… letting him see the size that I am right now.

I’m proud of myself.

Do any of YOU do weird things with your clothes?

The other day on twitter someone asked if, with all the billions of people in the world we thought it was possible to find a soul mate. I answered “yes”, quickly… without hesitation then wondered if I was too corny or too much of a romantic.

A few days later, I got this video from Lovestruck.com and was reminded that being a corny, romantic isn’t the worst thing in the world

LoveStruck on Facebook

Cardio & Curvy Conversations was such a fun event! We did an intense workout with TruDog and then had enriching conversations on what its like to be a Plus Size Princess living a healthy lifestyle, dating and trying to make it all work.

Thanks to everyone who came out… I’ve got lots more planned for us in 2013. I’ve also uploaded the photos from the event on my personal facebook page so add me as a friend to see them and tag yourselves (CeCe Olisa).

I thought this video would be a great conversation starter for this weeks Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge Weigh-in. So, watch the video and chime in with your comments on any of the subjects (Whats the most you’ve spent to lose weight? Do you find it hard to date while on your fitness journey? Do you like dating bigger guys?). I’d love to hear your thoughts and I’ll be online all day responding to comments!

As far as my weight goes, I’m maintaining but holding on by a thread… the holidays are killing me, I cant wait till its all over and I can go back to my salads and grilled chicken- augh.

I haven’t felt comfortable tweeting/blogging about the events that happened in Connecticut last week, its pretty overwhelming and I have no words. I would like to share that an official fund for the families has been set up, you can donate here. Also if there is someone in your life whose mental health has you concerned, you can click here for resources. I’ll continue to pray and I hope you’ll do the same.

Even though we met in real life, Robert and I went on our first online date last week. HowAboutWe.com, a dating site for singles has launched HowAboutWe for Couples, a subscription service designed specifically for couples.

Each month, you and your boo-cakes receive a new “DateBook” filled with pre-planned, one-of-a-kind experiences in your city. If you’re stuck in a relationship rut of dinners and movies, this is a great way to shakes things up!

For our HowAboutWe for Couples date, Robert and I went to see a show called Restoration Comedy at The Flea. In general, I try not to make Robert go to the theater. We’ve seen broadway shows together and he’s always like *yawn*. But this show sounded different and fun (maybe because the tickets included an open bar) so I made a reservation.

We walked into the theater and were immediately greeted by live music and an interactive cast who made us laugh and asked us questions. While they chatted with us, they regularly brought us yummy cocktails which got the night off to a good start.

The show was funny, entertaining, the intermissions featured more live music and at the end of the show, the theater opened up for a dance party. It was awesome! Here are some of the cast members:

Of course, there are plenty of other options on the HowAboutWe couples site (4 course dinners, walking tours, cooking classes, etc.) and they’re all available for you depending on your city. So, its pretty easy to find something that you and your Honey would like to do.

A HowAboutWe for Couples membership is $22 per month and it gets you: FREE HowAboutWe Dates every month, Sold-out tickets and members-only events, Early booking on HowAboutWe Dates and Couples Rewards.

Dates on HowAboutWe for Couples can also be purchased as a non-Member, without the Member discount and other benefits. For more details, visit HowAboutWe for Couples:

In recent years there has been plenty of buzz about the popular trend of online dating. While it’s proven to be successful for thousands of happy couples around the country, if you’ve never used it before online dating can seem just as daunting as sitting alone at a bar. The good news is that dating sites are proving to be as easy to use as they are successful. Here is a look at 5 things to keep in mind when first entering the world of online dating.

Finding the right site for you There are plenty of different dating sites available to accommodate people’s varied interests, whether you’re looking for friendship, passion or anything in between. However the most in demand style of dating site are those that offer the opportunity to find loving and meaningful relationships.

If this is the sort of experience you’re searching for, dating site eHarmony and eHarmony Canada specialize in matching compatible singles who share similarities that would make a potentially fulfilling and serious relationship. It’s important to consider what sort of dating experience you’re looking for online in order to always feel within your comfort zone and find people with similar interests.

Logging on When you’ve decided on the right style of dating site for you, then it’s time to get online. Many sites will charge a fee, but there are plenty of quality sites like eHarmony that offer a range of free stages. The next stage is to create your dating profile. Be sure to use a clear and current photo of yourself and avoid using pictures with sunglasses or a hat, as they give the impression you have something to hide.

Many dating website ask that members complete a detailed personality questionnaire that’s used to formulate your online dating profile. Nearly all online dating success stories start with creating a fun and natural dating profile, and that allows you to simply be yourself. At the end of the day, an authentic picture of your personality and character is what people ought to find attractive.

Meeting people online Once you’re happy with your dating profile the next phase is to start meeting people. Different sites take different approaches to this stage of the online experience. Some companies prefer to match people based simply on their location, while other focus on the similar interests that people share. The best option is to opt for a site that combines both of these functions.

Communicating Once you have found matches, the next step is to get in touch and see if you share any chemistry. The best dating sites help you to get to know people without any stress or hassle. Icebreaker tools allow you to get in touch and start chatting, so be sure to make the most of them.

Meeting in person You’ve broken the ice, you’ve chatted online and you’ve decided there might be something more there. The next step is to meet in person. When arranging a first date location, opt for a laid back and fun destination, like your favourite local café or a picnic at a nearby park.