Today at 4pm EST, I’ll be doing a live #curvyconvo chat on about PCOS on twitter and facebook. PCOS stands for Polyciystic Ovarian Syndrome and a LOT of Plus Size Princesses have it, whether they know it or not.

I have PCOS and I think its important to discuss it from time to time because there is often a connection between the syndrome and weight. My initial post on PCOS can be found here and a small debate about PCOS and weight can be found here, you can also click on the PCOS tag on the blog to see everything we’ve discussed so far.

The conversation will continue this afternoon at 4pm, hopefully you’ll log on and share/ask questions.

Now onto our Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge! You guys are inspiring me by hitting the ground running this week, here are a few of the girls who are rocking this challenge by eating well, working out 4 times a week and logging their efforts on twitter/instagram:

We are off to a great start! #PSPfit

I kept the fact that I was not doing well pretty quiet because I didn’t want to ruin my families time together (I can be prideful/stubborn sometimes… its something I’m working on). When my Mom asked for an update, I repeated what my doctor had said and told her I’d be following up with a cardiologist when I got back.

After a few relaxing days together, it was time for me to head back to the city. My sister Denise decided that she would fly back to New York with me at the last minute so we were doing the six hour flight together.

While waiting for our plane to board, something inside me compelled me to confess to my sister how awful I had been feeling. “Denise, for the past few days I’ve been really short of breath. I’m fine and when we get back to the city I’m going to see a cardiologist, but I just… thought I should tell you.”

Denise, looked at me with concern. “Okay,” she said slowly “can I do anything for you?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

I slept most of the flight, it was winter so I had knee-high boots that I had taken off in order to be more comfortable. As people filed out of the plane, I wanted to put my shoes back on but I couldn’t move. I was too weak to bend down, pull my legs up or any of the subtle movements that putting on a pair of shoes requires.

“Denise,” I whispered. “I can’t put on my shoes, can you help me?”

The look in my sisters eyes was a mix of fear and concern that mirrored what I felt inside… something was terribly wrong. My sister crouched down and put my boots on for me, she pulled my suitcase from the overhead compartment and prepared all of our things. At this point we were the last people on the plane. I wanted everything to be okay, so I said that it was. I stood up and began to push my suitcase down the aisle behind my sister.

By the time we made the short walk to first class, I felt like I had no energy or strength left. “Denise, give me a minute,” I said sitting in a first class seat.

Then I fainted.

After being rushed to the ER in an ambulance and given multiple tests, it turns out that I had blood clots in my lungs, a pulmonary embolism. If you know anything about blood clots, you know that flying is the absolute worst thing you can do if you have them. This is why my situation came to a head after the long flight from California to New York.

Writing this story, there were plenty of times that I could have made different choices. Choices that would not have landed me in an airplane seat unconscious. If you read part one, you’ll remember that I basically told my doctor that I felt like I had a blood clot. My self-diagnosis was spot on, but I chose to follow what a doctor said even though it didn’t feel right. I could have gotten a second opinion, but I let a doctor minimize my symptoms and push me off onto a specialist even though I had a gut feeling about what was wrong with me.

I knew… my body told me what was wrong, but I didn’t listen.

I spent 10 days in the hospital, underwent surgery and once I got out of the hospital I had to give myself injections daily for weeks.

I’m fine now, fully recovered and the doctors have no idea why I clotted again since I wasn’t taking birth control or anything and all the tests that they run come back completely normal. I can’t thank God enough that my sister Denise was with me and I didn’t have to go through this alone. This experience is what made me fully commit to losing weight, its the only variable in my health that needs attention.

According to the APS foundation, each year, more than 600,000 people in the United States have a pulmonary embolism, and more than 60,000 of them die. Most of those who die do so within 30 to 60 minutes after symptoms start.

My symptoms went on for close to two weeks, including two 6 hour flights so I thank God constantly that I lived through a PE.

Listen to Your Body.

The following post is an elaboration on something I mentioned briefly at the beginning of this post in 2011. Very few of you caught what I mentioned, but those who did wished me well and that meant so much to me. I was pretty much traumatized by what happened and haven’t been able to blog about it until now. I shared this story briefly during Love Songs & Curvy Conversations on Saturday and so I will go into detail here for those of you who missed it. -CeCe

Climbing a short flight of stairs at work, I was winded. Like, really winded… my heart was racing and I couldn’t catch my breath. Once I got to the top of the stairs, I slowly walked to my desk to rest. Yes, one flight of stairs caused me to sit down and rest at my desk.

I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what.

I had been taking vigorous classes at the gym that lasted an hour and had no problems getting through them, so why was a single flight of stairs suddenly a problem for me?

Later that evening, the walk from the train to my house was also very difficult. I was trying to walk at my usual brisk pace, but it felt like I was running a marathon. The more I thought about it, the only time I’d ever felt like this was in 2006 when I was taking birth control to regulate my period. As most of you know, I have PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. Birth control/metformin is a common prescription combination upon PCOS diagnosis. While taking birth control, I developed a blood clot in my leg (you know those fast warnings they list at the end of prescription drug commercials? yeah, those things actually happen). Anyway, we caught the clot early and after taking blood thinners for six months, I was given a clean bill of health and instructions to NEVER take birth control again, which I adhered to.

When I got home I called my Mom. I was due to fly home to California a few days later and I was scared I’d have to cancel my trip.

“Something’s wrong with me,” I said, then I gave her the rundown of what I’d been experiencing.

“CeCe, that doesn’t sound good at all. Can you get an appointment with your doctor tomorrow?”

“I can, but I don’t want to,” I replied.

“…why?” my Mother asked.

“If I go to the doctor and tell her that I’m out of breath when I go up a flight of stairs, she’s just going to tell me to lose weight.”

My Mom sighed deeply, “She might say that, but that’s not a reason to not go. You have to make an appointment tomorrow” I heard in her voice that this was non-negotiable, so I agreed and hung up with her.

My experience with doctors is that “lose weight” is their advice for anything I bring up to them. Even though I never had “fat person” health issues… no high blood pressure or cholesterol, etc. I felt like doctors never dug deeper when it came to my health, they just looked at me and the number that came up on the scale and felt that they saw the root all of my problems.

The next day, I went to see my doctor as promised. I told her what was happening to me, she took all of the initial reads of blood pressure, heart rate and temperature.

“I’m getting winded really easily and that’s not normal for me,” I said, “the only other time I’ve felt like this is when I had a blood clot in my calf from taking birth control.”

She asked me to take off my shoes and climb back onto the doctor bed in the room. The simple energy it took to follow her instructions made my heart race. “See, even doing something as simple as taking off my shoes makes me feel winded,” I told her. She took a look at my legs, “you seem fine… no swelling or tenderness, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, its probably your thyroid,” the doctor said, pumping hand sanitizer into her hands.

“My thyroid?” I said. I’d never been told I had thyroid issues before although I had an inkling that thyroid problems were considered a fat girl health issue, but I wasn’t sure. The doctor didn’t seem to think I was dying, even though the thought had crossed my mind.

“Do you think I’m okay to fly to California tomorrow?”

“You’ll be fine. When you get back, lets make an appointment with a cardiologist too, just to be safe. Of course, if you feel really terrible go to the ER.”

I feel really terrible now I thought to myself, but I didn’t fight her to do more. She was the doctor right? Even though my body was talking to me, the doctors voice rang louder. To be completely honest, I didn’t want anything to be wrong with me, which is probably why I accepted the doctors casual diagnosis. A girl in her 20′s shouldn’t be having crazy health issues and I’ve always been healthy and active despite my weight. I was fine… just my thyroid… I’d deal with everything after I flew to California and back.

“Okay,” I said and left her office.

Do any of you feel like your doctor can’t see past your weight?

(You ca read part two here…)

Last month, I was tweeting about how my period always catches me by surprise. I’ll find myself on the verge of tears for no reason or super frustrated with a friend and then in a moment of clarity, I’ll check my period tracker on my iPhone and see that Aunt Flow is due t arrive any moment… then my craziness all makes sense!

Unfortunately, my emotions aren’t the only thing that shifts drastically once a month…

I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and BOOM I had gained three pounds… literally over night! I racked my brain for any hidden calories in my meals over the past few days and I had been pretty good in my eating. I had been working out too, so there was no reason for me to be up three pounds.

A few hours later while I was at work, “Aunt Flow” arrived with my monthly gift.

Of course!!!

Every month along with emotional instability, my menstrual cycle brings weight gain… and lots of it. Sometimes its two pounds, sometimes as much as nine! But for someone who is watching her weight like a hawk, seeing those numbers and feeling bloated can be really upsetting.

The first few times time it happened, I let it get me down. I didn’t work out as often and I indulged in everything that I had a craving for. It took two weeks for my weight to come back down even though my cycle only lasts for one.

After that, I started to changed my game plan when Aunt Flow was in town. Now on the first day of my period, I pop some asprin for cramps and I allow myself to eat Nutella out of the jar with a spoon (don’t judge me!). Then after that, I rock my “Period Plan” to make sure that I’m doing the right thing for my weight loss every day even though I know the scale wont move.

I work out, I eat right and I drink lots and lots of water. Usually when I do this, by the time my cycles over I’ve lost the menstrual weigh and a little more.

I know everyone’s cycle is different and some girls don’t have the energy to carry on a normal work-out routine, I feel like I don’t have a choice. With my PCOS, I’m lucky that I’m even having monthly periods so I do my best to keep my weight down. Plus, I always feel much better when I’m active instead of sitting around in sweats and a tank top!

Does anyone else have a “Period Plan”?

Hello Cece,

I have been reading your blog for about 6 months and very much enjoy your writing and perspective … but I am always bothered when you bring up the topic of PCOS for a number of reasons. Mostly because I have severe PCOS. I am on metformin (insulin support), spironolactone (testosterone inhibitor), and birth control. One of my ovaries was completely destroyed by scar tissue before I was even diagnosed. If my condition gets any worse, my endocrinologist has suggested that I go on a special-mix hormone injection on a bi-weekly basis as I’m pretty much maxed out on the pills. So please do not think that this email is coming from a lack of understanding. Trust me. I understand.

But PCOS does not make you over-weight. In fact, being over-weight can actually TRIGGER the symptoms of PCOS, i.e. many people’s symptoms lessen or completely disappear if they lose weight. Now I am not going to claim that losing weight isn’t more difficult when you have PCOS - most doctors now (finally) agree that it is. However, it is not impossible - and I think that it’s important that the public voices of the PCOS community are quite clear on that point. Many of your readers could be one of the lucky ones that can get real symptom relief upon losing weight.

Before I realized I had PCOS, I was a sugar addict (which obviously is the key driver for gaining weight with PCOS). Upon diagnosis, I was 175 pounds, i.e. over the healthy BMI zone - I’m 5’6 btw. I then started taking my medication, working out, closely monitoring my calorie intake, and working with my endocrinologist to set up a PCOS-friendly diet (i.e. no sugar, no white starch). I lost 40 pounds and am now back into a healthy range on the BMI scale though by no means rail thin. So I STILL have severe PCOS … but I’m no longer overweight.

I am not writing this to judge those women who want to lose weight and have a hard time doing so. I understand what it feels like to not be happy with your body and have to struggle twice as hard as others for every pound lost. But a message of hopelessness to PCOS women is not a responsible one and I encourage you to confirm my email with a doctor and adjust the messaging on your blog (and monitor commenters accordingly, who are sometimes misinformed on PCOS to an extreme level). You owe it to your very loyal readers to share the truth about their situation.

I don’t mind if you post this letter, though I’m guessing that you won’t.

Take care,
Jess

Hey Jess,

I’m surprised that you think I wouldn’t post your letter, I think you make an interesting point.

Every persons weight/weight loss story is different and every PCOS story is different. I love that you’re bringing up another side of PCOS. I also appreciate that you’re willing to share your personal story.

My understanding of the connection between PCOS & Weigh Gain is that one can trigger the other, but there are mixed opinions about which does what. Its like the old adage “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” but that’s just scratching the surface of what triggers PCOS. I’ve met people with PCOS who are super skinny, so there’s not a 100% proven cause. But at the end of the day I am not a doctor, so I’m not qualified to debate PCOS. I can only talk about my history and experiences.

When I share my stories on TBGB, I never have the desire to send a “message of hopelessness” as you say. I’m kind of sad that you’ve interpreted my writing that way because I live my life just the opposite. The spirit of this blog is that being over weight is not the end of the world. For me, having PCOS is not the end of the world either.

Every Wednesday I talk about my weight loss and work outs… and when I gain weight I never blame PCOS. Weight loss with PCOS is possible, sometimes it just takes a little more dedication… its all about choices.

Hopefully your letter will shine some light on another experience and influence different thoughts, but I don’t plan on monitoring my readers comments. I like when people to speak their minds (as you did in your letter) and I also think its important for my fellow PSP’s to feel comfortable on TheBigGirlBlog… this is a safe space.

Anyway, congrats on your weight loss 40 pounds is a huge accomplishment!

-CeCe

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

I saw a Plus Size Princess on the 3 train yesterday. She carried her weight in her stomach/midsection, her skin was a little shiny and I could see the bumps under her chin where she’d shaved away her facial hair. I would be willing to bet money that she had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Sadly, I couldn’t be so sure that she knew that she had it.

I have PCOS, and while knowing about it doesn’t solve my all of my problems, it does help me understand my body. I think those of you who have been diagnosed will agree that knowing what this issue is changes everything. With PCOS in the picture you dont feel like a total freak because you’re a girl who has to constantly shave random parts of her body. You start to learn what you can/can’t eat and why you have to work extra hard to lose weight.

The unfortunate thing is that many women live with PCOS for years before a doctor bothers to tell them what’s going on. These women are without the expert knowledge of information that comes from doctors being educated. (Even the most basic health science degree program, could prevent women from never being diagnosed with what hurts them).

I can remember being 17 (I was diagnosed in high school) and listening to my 28 year old cousin complain about having to get her face waxed. I took a deep breath and asked her a few personal questions: Do you have irregular periods? Do you feel like your skin is oil/acne prone? She answered “yes” to both. The irregular periods, facial hair and the fact that she was plus size made me pretty confident that she had PCOS. I told her what it was and suggested that she talk to her doctor about it. A week later she called me to say that her doctor confirmed what I said.

I’ve heard stories of women who find out they have PCOS because of fertility issues or women who have to see three or more doctors before someone can explain why that never have their period and cant lose weight. Of course, once PCOS is identified there’s so much that can be done, (the cousin who I diagnosed struggled with infertility, but she gave birth to her first child last year after getting herself to a healthy weight.)

The problem is that women can’t get healthy if they dont know what’s going on in their bodies. Education and knowledge is so important, which is why I wish I could stop every girl I see with traits of PCOS and make sure they know what they might be dealing with. Its just frustrating that as someone living with PCOS, I can spot it a mile away, but so many doctors can’t do the same.

Have any of you had to educate someone about PCOS?

It was a rainy Spring day as I sat in Dr. L’s office. Dr. L was an endocrinologist at the largest Upper East Side medical facility in New York.

After she went over my results, she glanced down at my feet. “Cute boots,” she said.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

They were bright orange rubber rain boots with cute little white flowers. A drag queen had given them to me the year before. Usually I would jump right into the random “only in New York” story behind the shoes, but I couldn’t. I was too busy trying to maintain composure despite the lump in my throat. This was a new doctor, but these weren’t new results….

She had run so many tests, drawn so much blood, and there was still no explanation. I am 100% healthy, no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no nothing. Everything about my body is perfect… except that I am overweight.

She went into the age old suggestions: Exercise… Portion Control… Fruits and Veggies…”

I sat there nodding mechanically. Tears began stinging my eyes. I felt an eruption of emotion and I’m not sure if I was speaking to myself or her but I heard myself saying “I do those things, and… it’s not working!”

I couldn’t make eye contact, I found myself fixated on my boots. Last week Dr. L saw me wearing nothing but a blue paper jacket, but in the statement I just made, I felt truly naked.

Dr. L took a pause and looked at me, her eyes softening. She sat down on the edge of her desk, “Well,” she began “we need to explore other options.”

Then Dr. L mentioned something that had never crossed my mind, “weight loss surgery”.

My mind began to race… Wasn’t weight loss surgery for people on the Discovery channel who were confined to their beds for years at a time?? I was a young, fashionable, active girl who still took dance classes weekly (and rocked it), I easily trot up the stairs when exiting the subway and I walk just as briskly as the next New Yorker… do I really need surgery to reach my goals?

“Absolutely not.” I replied, “No.”

Dr. L smiled “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear. I really think you can do this, now- we have a program that I think may work for you. Its been very successful…”

She wouldn’t tell me much about the program, just that it would drastically change my eating habits and calorie intake. She signed me up for an informational meeting the next week.

Though it was still raining, I left her office in a sunny mood. I tucked my jeans into my rain boots and walked through Central Park on my way home. Might as well get a head start on (yet another) weight loss journey.