I haven’t felt comfortable tweeting/blogging about the events that happened in Connecticut last week, its pretty overwhelming and I have no words. I would like to share that an official fund for the families has been set up, you can donate here. Also if there is someone in your life whose mental health has you concerned, you can click here for resources. I’ll continue to pray and I hope you’ll do the same.

Even though we met in real life, Robert and I went on our first online date last week. HowAboutWe.com, a dating site for singles has launched HowAboutWe for Couples, a subscription service designed specifically for couples.

Each month, you and your boo-cakes receive a new “DateBook” filled with pre-planned, one-of-a-kind experiences in your city. If you’re stuck in a relationship rut of dinners and movies, this is a great way to shakes things up!

For our HowAboutWe for Couples date, Robert and I went to see a show called Restoration Comedy at The Flea. In general, I try not to make Robert go to the theater. We’ve seen broadway shows together and he’s always like *yawn*. But this show sounded different and fun (maybe because the tickets included an open bar) so I made a reservation.

We walked into the theater and were immediately greeted by live music and an interactive cast who made us laugh and asked us questions. While they chatted with us, they regularly brought us yummy cocktails which got the night off to a good start.

The show was funny, entertaining, the intermissions featured more live music and at the end of the show, the theater opened up for a dance party. It was awesome! Here are some of the cast members:

Of course, there are plenty of other options on the HowAboutWe couples site (4 course dinners, walking tours, cooking classes, etc.) and they’re all available for you depending on your city. So, its pretty easy to find something that you and your Honey would like to do.

A HowAboutWe for Couples membership is $22 per month and it gets you: FREE HowAboutWe Dates every month, Sold-out tickets and members-only events, Early booking on HowAboutWe Dates and Couples Rewards.

Dates on HowAboutWe for Couples can also be purchased as a non-Member, without the Member discount and other benefits. For more details, visit HowAboutWe for Couples:

The first time I saw a Plus Size Princess in a tutu, I knew I had to have one. I spent hours searching online and everyone seemed to have sold out of them the minute they became available. But I was obsessed and refused to give up… somehow I discovered Ouma on Etsy and she made my dreams come true! I sent her my measurements and told her the color and length I wanted and she custom made me a tulle skirt and included a satin sash (although I prefer to wear mine with a more structured belt).

I’ve worn my tutu mostly for singing performances, but when I’m feeling extra princess-like I’ll wear it to a special event.

Tulle Skirt: Ouma, Sweater: Old Navy, Shoes Avenue, Bag: Vintage

Bronzer: Covergirl Queen Collection, Eye Shadow: Sonia Kashuk matte pallete, Blush: Tarte

Twistout Fro-hawk done with shea butter and bobby-pins

Photos by: Zanography

I was on the M60 bus last night and there was a girl who was on her way to La Guardia Airport. She had the tiniest suitcase with her and I thought to myself… wow, I think I could fit one pair of my jeans in that carry-on… if I rolled them super tight

Even if I’m going away for a weekend and am bringing three outfits, there is no way I could fit everything in one of those black square suitcases that people wheel around. My bras alone need their own duffel bag and if its winter and I’m packing bulky sweaters? Forget about it!

I never realized that I probably pack for trips differently because my clothes take up more space. Little tricks like putting four pairs of socks into my bra cups to save space probably don’t come up for everyone but as a Plus Size Princess, things like that are second nature when I’m preparing for a trip.

I’m not even going to mention the fact that I’m a high maintenance PSP because that means that I’ve got lots of creams, powders, tubes, trinkets and accessories that I have to pack when I travel, so my luggage will probably always need to be on the medium-large end even if I’m only going away for a few days. Its nothing to complain about really, I’m just fascinated that I didn’t realize this before.

There are so many random things that come along with being a Plus Size Princess; we’ve got to combat chub rub or handle the sweat between our boobies or worry about the seatbelts on the plane fitting us. Now I’m adding “required to have roomier luggage” to the list.

*shrugs*

Its been a while since I did an instagram roundup, so I thought I’d catch you guys up! I got back down 30 pounds right around thanksgiving. While was in Indiana with my family, I noticed that my skinny jeans were fitting a lot better, *whew*

I’ve been hitting the gym hard, and had an awkward moment when I had to yank my underwire out during my cardio class… I feel like my bras are always falling apart, augh!

I had brunch with my gays and someone decided to bring a brooch in the shape of a bird… I thought the brooch was hilarious!

That’s a general update…Friday is my office holiday party and the outfit that you guys helped me choose is really cute. I’ll have pictures from that soon too.

Have a good weekend!

Instagram: PlusSizePrincess

In recent years there has been plenty of buzz about the popular trend of online dating. While it’s proven to be successful for thousands of happy couples around the country, if you’ve never used it before online dating can seem just as daunting as sitting alone at a bar. The good news is that dating sites are proving to be as easy to use as they are successful. Here is a look at 5 things to keep in mind when first entering the world of online dating.

Finding the right site for you There are plenty of different dating sites available to accommodate people’s varied interests, whether you’re looking for friendship, passion or anything in between. However the most in demand style of dating site are those that offer the opportunity to find loving and meaningful relationships.

If this is the sort of experience you’re searching for, dating site eHarmony and eHarmony Canada specialize in matching compatible singles who share similarities that would make a potentially fulfilling and serious relationship. It’s important to consider what sort of dating experience you’re looking for online in order to always feel within your comfort zone and find people with similar interests.

Logging on When you’ve decided on the right style of dating site for you, then it’s time to get online. Many sites will charge a fee, but there are plenty of quality sites like eHarmony that offer a range of free stages. The next stage is to create your dating profile. Be sure to use a clear and current photo of yourself and avoid using pictures with sunglasses or a hat, as they give the impression you have something to hide.

Many dating website ask that members complete a detailed personality questionnaire that’s used to formulate your online dating profile. Nearly all online dating success stories start with creating a fun and natural dating profile, and that allows you to simply be yourself. At the end of the day, an authentic picture of your personality and character is what people ought to find attractive.

Meeting people online Once you’re happy with your dating profile the next phase is to start meeting people. Different sites take different approaches to this stage of the online experience. Some companies prefer to match people based simply on their location, while other focus on the similar interests that people share. The best option is to opt for a site that combines both of these functions.

Communicating Once you have found matches, the next step is to get in touch and see if you share any chemistry. The best dating sites help you to get to know people without any stress or hassle. Icebreaker tools allow you to get in touch and start chatting, so be sure to make the most of them.

Meeting in person You’ve broken the ice, you’ve chatted online and you’ve decided there might be something more there. The next step is to meet in person. When arranging a first date location, opt for a laid back and fun destination, like your favourite local café or a picnic at a nearby park.

I was scrolling through instagram photos tagged with #PSPfit, Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge and I came across a before/after shot that made my jaw drop. After seeing this photo I had to interview the girl who had clearly put in so much work and embodies what #PSPfit is all about. She tracks, she logs and she’s active on the #PSPfit twitter and instagram timelines. Best of all she inspires me and I hope she will inspire you too, Meet Kiya!

Disclaimer: Before starting any diet or weight loss program, consult a doctor or your personal physician. I am not an expert, a dietitian, a physical trainer, nor are any of the #PSPfit members featured here. What works for them may not be right for you, so CONSULT A PHYSICIAN BEFORE YOU BEGIN A LIFESTYLE CHANGE THAT INCLUDES A CHANGE IN DIET AND/OR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.

How much weight have you lost and how long did it take?
As of that picture, I had lost 75 lbs, and right now, I’m at 85lbs. I started messing around with losing weight in early March 2012, and got really serious with it in late April. I’m 5’4.5 (yes, that half inch matters!) and I started out at 240lbs. I was a 22/24 and now I’m a 10/12

Wow, that is so impressive… What’s your weight loss process?
In order to determine WHAT my calories are - I follow the Anything Goes Diet (by John Barban) - which basically means, I eat what I want. Anything I want. As long as it fits within my weekly calorie budget - I can have it. There is no such thing as a ‘forbidden’ food - merely high-calorie foods that I have to ‘budget’ for. It removes the pressure of ‘falling off the wagon’.

I’m finding that eating plans that don’t have ‘forbidden foods’ work best for me too… Do you use any apps?
My main support tools are two apps on my iPhone - LoseIt and FatWatch.

Do you have a workout plan?
You notice, I didn’t mention exercise. I didn’t exercise for most of my journey, and when I did, it was solely weightlifting (relatively heavy). I hate cardio with a deep and burning passion, and so I don’t do it. *lol* Besides, it makes more sense to me to NOT eat the additional calories in the first place.

OMG, so those before and after pictures are mostly from changing your eating habits? *faints* that puts things in perspective! Will you ever exercise?
I’ve started exercising now, because part of it was one of my rewards. I do many things including Krav Maga/yoga/weights and glaring at my treadmill once a week. *lol*

*wrygrin* I’ve either gotten compliments or silence - no real in-between reactions. Folks didn’t start noticing until I hit about the 60lb mark, and when I hit 70lbs the floodgates of comments opened. I’ve gotten a couple ‘don’t get too small’ comments, and my response has been ‘If I DO get too small, it’s REAL easy to get big again!’ which shuts them up nicely. My mama told me I could admit to her if I got gastric bypass done on the low. *lol* One of my good friends said that even though I was SO much smaller, my spirit still filled the room.

Awww that’s sweet! Has #PSPfit been helpful?
I just recently FOUND #PSPFit - and it’s definitely been encouraging! I love having a ‘reason’ to track various elements of my journey - even though now, a lot of them are ‘habits’ rather than ‘challenges’.

How has your weight-loss affected your fashion?
Oh, dear gods. *lol* It’s weird - I’ve radically shifted how I dress, because I can FIT the stuff I’ve always wanted to wear now. I’m really looking forward to reaching goal so that I can start investing in some really nice pieces.

How has weight-loss affected your dating life?
*laugh* It hasn’t - I don’t date. I was married for almost 10 years, got divorced in late 2010, and I’m so happily NOT dealing with the opposite sex (or any sex!) right now - it’s heavenly peaceful and restorative, and provides me with the time that I need to reshape myself - inside and out!

Gods, there’s so much! Urm. Don’t worry about breaking your metabolism - it’s virtually unbreakable. Skip listening to what ‘everyone’ knows (but yet works for so few people) and find/read the science behind a lot of the fitness tall tales that WILL keep you fat.

Treat yourself! My goal reward is a GORGEOUS sapphire ring I’ve had my eye on for years - it’s going to be my ‘championship’ ring of Victory.

Accept the fact that not everyone is going to support you. Some of the people who were silent - their reaction kinda hurt, but to be honest, it’s better than the people who started pushing food on me at every turn. *lol* It has nothing to do with YOU really - it’s just that you are changing, and you are being SUCCESSFUL at your change - and that makes them start to wonder if they should change, too. And most folks don’t like change.

And last but not least - You aren’t broken, you aren’t weak, you aren’t a failure - you’re human and part of the essence of humanity is imperfection. Accept that sometimes, we all stumble, but stand back up, and keep walking forward. Be more stubborn than yourself, and you’ll be able to reach the goals you desire.

Follow Kiya on twitter here

Wow, thanks for that Kiya… I’m so glad you’re a part of #PSPfit and I can’t wait to watch you hit more goals, I’m right behind you! lol (p.s. I lost 4 pounds this week )

How is everyone else doing? Also if you want to join the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge, leave your twitter handle in the comments section below and follow me on instagram “PlusSizePrincess”

I used to be terrified that wrap dresses would accentuate my “lumps” instead of my curves… I’m realizing that’s not the case. This dress is slate blue with a pink sash, and… pockets!

p.s. I took my braids out and I’m rocking my natural hair for the winter, I’m new to the natural hair game and this was my first updo!

Dress: c/o Igigi, available here. Bag: Jessica Simpson, old. Shoes: Avenue, old. Fishnets: Spanx/Lane Bryant available here.

Photos by: Zanography

Hello CeCe,

I’m having a really hard time of letting go of what should stay in the past. Ok let me fill you in, I met my Ex boyfriend from an online dating site at the end of 2006. This was my first real relationship, I believe due to the fact im a PSP. So to make a long story short we fell in love and spent the next almost 4 years together. 2 and a half years into to the relationship that’s when things started going down hill due to the fact I felt as though he was ashamed of me because of my weight. Some of the reasoning behind my feelings was that the only people I’ve met was one of his sisters and one friends. I mean it took me two whole years to realize this because he explained he wasn’t really that close to his family. By the time i finally met his mother and siblings it was “too little too late ” type of feeling I had going on so I felt my heart grow cold.

So with me feeling cold-hearted there was a disconnect in our relationship, I believe that’s the reason why he started turning to other women, like texting, calling and whatever else. I really don’t know if he have ever physically cheated and to this day he claims he never has. He even went as far as reaching out to his Ex girlfriend that he was with right before me.

Even after feeling the way I felt we still stayed together up until June 2011. It seems like as soon as I broke up with him he went back to his Ex like I thought he would, but he swears up and down that he haven’t been in touch with her for the last year or so. So it been close to a year and a half and we’re still in touch and he claims that he wants to be with me but I have my sources and I know he’s still going back a forth with his Ex.

CeCe I know you’re thinking like “didn’t you not want to be with him in the first place” yes I know but I still want him to be in my life even if it’s being just friends but he definitely wants more, But I think he wants his Ex too, so its apparent I don’t trust him at all, so I don’t know why I feel we can remain in each others lives. I even tried to sit down and ask him where does he place her in his life and if he ever loved her or love her now and he continues to say he never loved her and that I was his First love and so forth. So I say all this to ask you should I just let him go and if so what are the steps I can take to get him out of my system all over again? I know that this is all over the place but he is a good dude and he explained he never meant to do what he did and he was younger and now he knows what he wants. But the thing is I’m not quite sure of what I want yet. I just know I want honesty…

Sincerely,

Evans Ex

Hey Evans Ex,

Thanks for reaching out! Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. Hopefully, I can pull together some answers for you based on what you wrote here.

In general, this seems to be a drama filled situation, so I’d like to address that first. This dude always likes to have a girl (or two) waiting in the wings in case things with his current girlfriend go badly. He was unhappy with you, so he cheated instead of just breaking up with you- that seems like a cowardly move to me. This pattern has been done to you and with you, so we know its not a one time thing.

I think drama-filled relationships often keep us from finding people we’re more compatible with. While you’re spending time worrying about a guy who seeks the attention of other women, runs back to his ex as soon as he can and (in my opinion) plays head games… there’s a stand-up dude out there that you haven’t met yet. You to are not married, tell the kid to kick rocks and move forward with your life. I guess if it were that simple, you wouldn’t be writing to me though, so lets dig a little deeper, shall we?

You found the confidence to let him go… why entertain him again once he’s shown his true colors? I think the answer lies in your letter.

You mentioned that being a PSP (Plus Size Princess) was the root of two issues 1.) Not having a boyfriend in the past 2.) Him not introducing you to his family. I think those thoughts are pretty normal, I know I have similar thoughts… but I’m wondering if they’re breeding insecurities for you that go even further than that… are you nervous that you might not find someone else who will accept you at your size? Does the comfort level you have with your ex make it seem easier to deal with his nonsense than to find someone new? …just things to think about.

Now to the questions you asked at the end of your email “So I say all this to ask you should I just let him go and if so what are the steps I can take to get him out of my system all over again?”

Yes, you should just let him go.

The main step to get him out of your system is to accept that you cannot be “just friends” with him. Point blank, period. I know it sounds harsh and it will be hard to let go of him, but if you start to evaluate the questions I posed earlier hopefully you can start to figure out the real reasons you’re holding onto this relationship that as you said in the first line of your email “should stay in the past”.

I’m sure he’s a good guy, but I’m sure you can find an even better guy.

xoxo,

CeCe

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

Anyone else have advice for Evans Ex?