“She is plush, soft and gorgeous and I’m quite happy to take her to bed every night,” Bruce said of his Plus Size girlfriend, Jess.

VH1 has a new show called “I’m married to a…” where they profile “unconventional couples“. The premier episode featured a “BBW and FA” relationship. For those who don’t know, BBW = Big Beautiful Woman, FA = Fat Admirer. (side note: I gave my TV the longest *blank stare* over the fact that dating a big girl is considered shocking enough to be on this show). Anyway, as they profiled Bruce and Jess, I noticed something. Bruce could not keep his hands off of Jess. There was footage of him pinching her face, kissing her constantly, chasing her around the house and spanking her and wiggling his eye brows as he spoke about sleeping with her and explaining to the camera and his male friends that ”Fat sex is… its nirvana!” he also said ”I could look at Jess from any angle and get a chill up my spine and say ‘yeahhhhh that’s all mine’!”

I am always irked when men act like sleeping with Plus Size Princesses is the only reasons they give us the time of day. You’ve heard this talk before… ”More Cushion for the Pushing”, ”I don’t want to feel like I’m breaking a girl when we’re in bed, big girls can handle it!”, ”They’re give you shade in the summer and warmth in the winter”, the list goes on and on. Even though Bruce seems to have good intentions he is poster child for someone who is dating a personification of their fetish instead of dating a person.

Is there anything wrong with him feeling this way about Jess? Nope! But Bruce said nothing about the personality traits Jess has, instead he focused on constantly detailing their sex life. As far as I can tell, if he writes his own vows when he marries her (as he plans to do) he will stand on the altar and make a passionate speech about how good it feels to sleep with her. Awk!

We need to take a very close look at the types of women we’re quick to sexualize and the types of women we shield from that type of talk. Here are some questions I have:

-Do we ever hear men talk about their skinny girlfriends this way? I’ve never seen a guy on TV ranting about the amazing way his skinny lovers body feels. I also don’t see men with skinny girlfriends going on and on about how great it feels to sleep with a small girl. I feel like if being with your girlfriend is “nirvana” that’s information for you and her to share and taking it upon yourself to publicize her intimate qualities is disrespectful.

-Why do men lead with the sex as the reason they date big women? I understand that there’s a bit of overcompensating happening in these situations, especially if men are getting a hard time from their friends about being with a Plus Size Princess, but I see no reason to convince the world that what you’re doing is pleasurable. If you like her, date her and keep it moving. If you’ve got something to prove, don’t use me/my body to do it.

-How much is too much? All men have things that they’re attracted to. I’m currently dating a “boob man” and I don’t mind that he might mention his attraction to The Twins in public. I had to ask myself why something like that is okay, but the comments Bruce made about Jess are not. I think there is a big difference between openly discussing your attraction to someone and openly discussing the sex you have with that person.

Just like I hate when men flirt with me by saying “I love big girls!”, I don’t think leading with my size is ever appropriate or cute.  No matter what size I am, if someone asks why you’re with me and all you can talk about is our physical chemistry? We’ve got a huge problem.

I will never be interested in the fact that you love big women, I will only ever care about if you love me. On the other hand, if these men are continually talking like this, that means there are some women out there who enjoy it, so how does this sit with you? …thoughts???

Every summer I get invited to a white party and realize I don’t own a white dress.

I think avoiding white is a remnant of the “black is slimming” mentality that so many of us are conditioned to as Plus Size Princesses. Welp, as I continue to chuck fashion “rules” out the window, I’m trying to embrace white outfits more (*fingers crossed* that I don’t spill anything)! I got a jump on finding a summer white ensemble early with this cool one shoulder frock from Lane Bryant.

I’ve also entered this look in the LB Style competition, vote for me here!

Shop the look below:

A few days ago, I attended a dinner to celebrate the launch of GabiFresh’s Fatkini Line for SwimsuitsForAll.com, these gorgeous, high waist two pieces are designed to make a Plus Size Princess feel confident to show off her curves and the suits come in a variety of colors and prints, so much fun!

To be honest, I’m not quite ready to rock a fatkini, but I’ve been scanning through the plus size bathing suit options on the Swimsuitsforall.com site and lots of options that I love including some great suits for when I swim laps.

The AquaBell Chlorine Resistant line, has a few great plus size crossback swimsuit that I ordered in black. This swimsuit is AWESOME for my pool workouts, because it has a crossback that supports “The Twins” and its made from fabric designed to hold up against the harsh chemicals in pool water, so it will last longer.

Because we’re in the middle of #PSPfit bootcamp, I want to giveaway some swimsuits from the AquaBelle collection so that maybe some of you will take up swimming this summer too. These suits go from size 8-34, so there’s something for everyone!

I’ve got five suits to give away, want to win? Check out the info below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Confession: I’m a Weight Watchers drop out.

My first 30 pounds came off in one year with Weight Watchers, but then… I began to cheat the system… staying “under my points” but still not eating well (did you know that a Skinny Cow ice-cream bar is only three points? Which means I could have two for dinner and only use six points!) Yeah, it was bad. I gained 10 pounds back. And then… I told myself I couldn’t show my face at a meeting to get weighed in until I had lost the 10 pounds. Which meant I was paying for a membership I wasn’t using, so I canceled it.

A few months after canceling my weight watchers membership, I began to work with my nutritionist and embrace clean eating (bye, bye skinny cow ice-cream bars!) I quickly lost the 10 pounds I had gained, plus eight more and I’m currently hovering over the 40 pound mark. I’m happy with the work I’m putting in, I’m happy with what we’re learning in #PSPfit bootcamp.

Then last week something happened; I ran into my old weight watchers leader and suddenly felt like I wasn’t far enough along, I hadn’t lost enough weight and I was a complete failure.

Did my WW leader ask about my weight? Nope! She asked me how I was doing and we caught up like normal people, but in my head she was looking at me and judging my progress.

Do you have people in your life that you want to see once you’re different in some way? Maybe you fantasize, “the next time I see them I’m going to be ________ ” It could be anything… “next time I’m going to look fabulous/have a great job/be in a fulfilling relationship” …whatever. I think my WW leader is one of those people for me. I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I decided that I the next time I saw her I was going to be significantly smaller… but she made her cameo in my life early and I wasn’t prepared!

I can laugh about it now, but in the moment I was emotional. Seeing her when I wasn’t at my “best” really made me feel like I hadn’t lost ANY weight, which of course is not true and if it was someone else saying this to me, I be telling them they were crazy for having a meltdown. But its different when its me.

Anyway, today I can be more objective– I can say that I am smaller/healthier/fitter than I was at my last WW meeting. I can say that I haven’t reached all of my fitness goals, but I’m closer. I’m eating better and working harder and I’m *this* close to having lost 40 pounds… and just because I’m not where I wanted to be by now, doesn’t mean I’m not farther along than I was before.

*sigh*

We are we so hard on ourselves?

When it comes to shopping online, sometimes its hard to tell what will look good on you. With shipping fees, I really want to make sure I get it right the first time. I enjoy shopping and trying things on, I’ll put on dresses in different cuts/styles to learn what I like and what I don’t. Overtime I’ve developed a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to looking at an outfit and determining 1.) How it will look on me and 2.) What size I should get. Here are two of my most recent online purchases, below you can see how they look on the model and how they look on me.

I’m loving all of the floral prints coming out this season. This is my Cinco de Mayo outfit (it was *just* warm enough to pull this off with Gladiator Sandals) I spotted this floral/polka dot dress on the Torrid.com site and got it in what I thought was my size. It fit, but I wish I would have ordered it a size down, the flowy waist area allows for more room in the tummy area, but I felt like the bust could have been tighter. Oh, and for those of you wondering how I manage to go bare legged without chaffing issues, I swipe Gold Bond Anti Chafe Balm on my inner thighs and I’m good to go!

This dress I found on the Macy’s site, I ordered it in both pink and black because its such a classic cut, they’re now selling it in tangerine and turquoise too! I read the reviews on this dress and ordered it a size down, I’m really  glad I did. It fit perfectly… the only tweaking I had to do was in the bust, the cross body effect left wayyyy too much room for The Twins to pop out, so I took a needle and thread and tacked it. The model has a smaller chest than I do though, so if you’re built like her you shouldn’t have a problem. 

Shop the looks below!

First things first: Want to be a part of the next Plus Size Princess Fitness (#PSPfit) Bootcamp? Sign up here to be the first to know about Round II!

This weeks giveaway is a $100 giftcard to #PSPfit workout video sponsor LolaGetts (aka Lola Getts Active) they have high end plus size gym clothes and activewear that is so adorable. Want to win a $100 giftcard to LolaGetts? You’ve got two options:

1.) Watch the two minute review (below) of their best workout tops and tell me what your favorite item is in the comments section

2.) Tweet the following: Want to win a $100 giftcard? 1.) Follow @thebiggirlblog 2.) Follow @lolagettsactive 3.) RT this! http://ow.ly/kOqpQ #plussize

3.) Do both and your chances to win are doubled!

If you see something on the LolaGetts site that you like, they’re offering TBGB readers 50% off when you use coupon code PSPFIT50 at LolaGetts.com

Video by Linda (aka, @Ell_LO)

I’ve been having an email conversation with a PSP about intimacy. I feel a lot more solid in my dating advice than my advice on physical stuff, so take a look at our conversation below and if you have advice/thoughts for her you can chime in. I don’t think “s*x” is a bad word, but I’m going to censor it so that this site doesn’t get flagged/blocked by your office networks. (Shout out to those of you reading at work!) We’ll start off with her first email to me:

CeCe, 

Once again we’ve had a fabulous sponsor come through to make our #PSPfit bootcamp workout videos accessible for everyone.

This weeks #PSPfit workout video is sponsored by +size activewear line, LolaGetts.com, we LOVED working out in Lola Getts and have a full review (and giveaway) of their luxe line coming on Wednesday, in the meantime… let’s get moving!

Subscribe to the PlusSizePrincessNYC youtube channel so that you can get your cardio on anytime/anyplace!

Also, I just got an email with a video of Australian +size blogger DaniMezza doing a #PSPfit workout via my YouTube channel… its the cutest thing ever! If you do the workout and record yourself, PLEASE let me know so that I can share it with everyone… big girls DO workout Read Dani’s post on her #PSPfit experience here.