I’m so excited to host my first meet up in NYC!

“Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” will be a fun evening of live music (provided by me) and an in-person chat about dating, dressing and losing weight as a Plus Size Princesses.

Have questions you’ve always wanted to ask me? Want to meet other TBGB readers? This is the place to be!

…Oh, and there will be giveaways

Sign up for the event by clicking the button below:

See you there!

P.S. Everyone is welcome to attend, so bring your skinny friends too!

2012 is turning out to be a whirlwind year. I’ve modeled in a fashion show, been featured in ELLE magazine and… lost 30 pounds! The fashion show and magazine feature were completely unexpected, but the weight loss journey is something I’ve wanted to conquer for a very long time. Oddly enough, finding the strength to step out of my comfort zone and onto a runway is having a positive affect on my workouts. I’m being more adventurous, taking boot camps and learning about lifting weights… all of these are things I’ve thought about in the past but shied away from. But every time I take a chance and try something new, I find out I’m a little stronger than I thought I was.

I’ve also been testing Degree Women^® Clinical Protection as a deodorant and its lasting me through the day and into my evening workouts. So, when Degree asked me to spread the word about their new Women Unapologetically Strong campaign, I was happy to do it. I find inspiration everyday from women online who are telling their stories via blogs, facebook and twitter, so I’d love to see one of you win their $5,000 prize.

Degree Women^® is looking to provide inspiration to women as we work to achieve our goals in fitness, work and life in general! Starting today (Wednesday, September 12^th) With a contest being hosted on the Degree Women^® Facebook page inviting women to share their own unique and inspiring Unapologetically Strong stories and goals. By sharing their own stories of their own personal challenges, fans will be entered for a chance to win giveaways from Degree Women^® to help on their Unapologetically Strong journey. One winner will also have the opportunity to win the grand prize of $5,000 to spend on achieving their goal.

If you want to be a part of what they’re doing, “like” their facebook page and watch their youtube video to see how it all came together.

Good Luck!

First of all, I’ll be doing another live #CurvyConvo chat on Twitter AND facebook tomorrow at 2pm. We had a great time last week, so lets do it again… follow @thebiggirlblog or “like” TBGB on facebook to participate. Okay, now on to my week:

I spent Fashion Week skipping shows and attending parties and events instead. Here’s what I did and what I wore! (follow me on instagram “PlusSizePrincess”)

I started the week with a Brazilian themed cruise around Manhattan with Robert, Adam from CutToTheFront and Suezette from Tales of a Southern Broad.The company is called Affairs Afloat and they do party cruises throughout the week. The boat is three levels with different types of music and its fully covered, so they can sail rain or shine. We had a great time dancing and enjoying the views of Manhattan. I would definitely do it again and its something good to do when you have friends in town!

The next night was Fashion’s Night Out, I wore a denim shirt from Foxcroft, a leather belt from Torrid and a pencil skirt from Lane Bryant (I got the belt and skirt ages ago). I spent that evening sipping champagne and looking at the upgraded Crocs collection. The event was held at the SoHo store and was hosted by Ms. Kathryn Finney. I’m really impressed with how Crocs are branching out into more trendy styles of boots and ballet flats. I wear an 11W and they fit my feet, so check them out!

Friday Night I had a quiet dinner with Patrice from Afrobella and Ms. Kathryn Finney at Red Rooster in Harlem. The food was good (I had a shrimp & Walnut salad) and the crowd was perfect for a Friday night. The night turned interesting when I guy who complimented me when we walked into the restaurant, found me at our table and handed me a poem that he wrote for me on the spot! He said I “inspired” him… that was definitely a first!

Then on Saturday I attended Cocktails & Couture, hosted by Liane Farbes and Afrobella… I had a great time and hopefully the pictures from that event will come out soon, in the meantime… here’s what I wore! This is a vintage Lane Bryant dress (from the style and fabric, I’m guessing from the 1960′s) I got it at a thrift store for $5!! Necklace from H&M (old), clutch was a gift from a friend.

Anyway, that was my week! Hope yours is off to a good start…

xoxo

“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

All of us can be characterized by a stereotype, it may be based on our race, class, gender, sexual identity, or even the where we grew up. We’ve talked about some of the stereotypes that Plus Size Princesses are faced with in posts like “Superficial Fat Chicks” and “Can a Big Girl Date a Hot Guy?“. After writing those posts, I was beginning to assume that the stereotypes surrounding overweight women were usually connected to men and/or sex. Big girls are desperate for sex… Big girls will do anything sexually to keep a man… Big girls can’t get a “good man” so they take what they can get….

Just when I thought I had wrapped my head around what people might assume to be true about me as a PSP, I was on twitter a while back and saw that a guy tweeted to the beautiful @CorporateBarbie, telling her that she had a “fat girl personality”.

This was a new one for me, I mean… what exactly is a “fat girl personality”?

I did a little bit of googling and found that we as Plus Size Princesses have yet another set of mass assumptions to deal with. From what I gathered via google, big girls are thought to have amazing personalities to make up for what we lack aesthetically.

At first I wanted to be offended, but then I had to be honest with myself, this actually isn’t a new stereotype. This is something I’ve been exposed to my entire life, I mean how many movies have we seen with a “token chubby girl” character for comic relief. You know, the girl who isn’t viewed as desirable, but everyone loves having her around because she delivers the perfect punchline and makes us all laugh… or is super maternal and gives good advice to everyone.

Fat girl personality, hmmm? I must admit, it stings a little but mostly because (…dramatic pause…) I think I have one! I can relate to being more comfortable helping my girlfriends through their boy problems than putting myself out there and finding a boy to have my own drama with. I can relate to being put in the “friend zone” so often that my personality, charm and wit had ample chance to be cultivated.

When I saw someone tell a beautiful woman with a great body that she had a “fat girl personality” I was frustrated. Frustrated for fat girls like me and for skinny girls like her. It’s not fair that Plus Size Princesses are assumed to overcompensate with winning character and it’s not fair that skinny girls are assumed to coast by on their looks alone.

But what I’m realizing is that the unfairness is in making one-dimensional assumptions about multidimensional people. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says, it’s the single story that creates stereotypes. And she’s right, stereotypes aren’t necessarily untrue… but they’re incomplete and that’s where the problems lie.

If you follow @CorporateBarbie on twitter, you know that yes, she’s stunning. You also know that she’s worked super hard and has by no means coasted (I think she was in college at age 16 or something). Do I have a “Fat Girl Personality”? Absolutely! But there have been times that I used my looks, body and femininity to gain an edge. I’ve flirted to get things that I want. Yes, I’m a big girl but there have been times I’ve gotten ahead because people liked the way I looked and I’m not the only big girl with that experience.

We have to work hard not to let one single characteristic define us. If we listen to what society says we can do/be based on whatever stereotype applies to us we’ll live small and limited lives… and that is not what we’re here for.

…Thoughts???

P.S. I’m doing an in-person “Love Songs & Curvy Conversations” meet-up on September 29th, in NYC! Sign up for your free tickets by clicking the button below…

I’m looking forward to doing a live Curvy Convo chat today (9/5) at 2pm EST. Today’s CurvyConvo will be based on yesterdays post and the chat/giveaway will be held on both Twitter AND Facebook! As part of the 1 hour live chat, I will be giving away beautifully tailored shirts from Foxcroft. Here’s how to participate and win.

Facebook Followers:

1.) “Like” The Big Girl Blog on facebook

2.) “Like” Foxcroft on facebook

3.) Join the Curvy Convo by commenting on each status update that I post from 2-3pm. Tag Foxcroft in each of your comments in order to win!

Twitter Followers:

1.) “Like” Foxcroft on facebook (facebook is mandatory to win for this one )

2.) Follow @thebiggirlblog on twitter

3.) Use the #CurvyConvo hashtag for EVERY tweet so that we can all follow along. Add #Foxcroftshirts to any tweet and you’re entered to win!

I’d like to thank the Foxcroft Collection for being a part of this. I’ve always been afraid of button down shirts, I felt like they’d make me look boxy and there was always the fear that my boobs would pop a button off. I now own two foxcroft shirts (you can buy them here) and I am happily weaving their button downs into my wardrobe.

Foxcroft Collection Shirts are perfect for work, going out at night or chilling on the weekends… this is how I’m rocking mine:

It was a May in California… Summer was getting into full swing and as far as I was concerned, life was pretty close to perfect. I was 12 going on 13, it was the last week of 8th grade and I was heading to a performing arts high school in the fall. To top it all off, Donnie (my crush since 7th grade) and I were finally making progress… and by “progress” I mean making out behind the band room.

I was the only girl in our class who really had a thing for Donnie, in fact my best friend Jennifer would tease me about him, telling me that she couldn’t believe I liked him so much because “he looks like a rat!”. But I didn’t care, with his buzzed haircut, olive skin and excessive Tommy Hilfiger cologne, I thought he was the hot.

Monday morning of the last week of school, Elena, my other best friend, came over and sat next to me on the bus. We recapped our weekends including a last-minute end of the year party at our friend Rosalind’s house. I had to miss the party because my family had plans, but Elena had all the details.

“It was fun,” she said, “we went swimming, ate pizza… Katie had on the same bikini as I did” she said with an eye roll. Then she paused, “Donnie was there too.”

“Oh, cool,” I said, feeling a slight pang of regret that I missed a chance to hang out with him.

“Yeah,” she continued, then she paused again. “I’m your best friend, right?”

“Of course… you and Jennifer” I replied.

“Well, I think you should know that Jennifer was making out with Donnie at the party.”

I was stunned silent, my face was burning with a mix of anger and embarrassment. I was only 12, but I knew that what Jennifer had done was wrong. Or was it? Donnie wasn’t my boyfriend, per se so I guess I didn’t have any real claim to him. But Jennifer had listened to me talk about how cute he was for 2 years and she knew about our make-out sessions after school. And wait- didn’t she think that Donnie looked like a rat?

Elena touched my leg gently, “are you okay?” she asked.

I told her I was… what else could I say? We got to school and I did all the things a token pre-teen girl would do when she found out her best friend had made out with her crush. I gave Jennifer the silent treatment all morning… when she asked me what was wrong I said “nothing”… then at lunch, with Elena by my side, I told her in the most aloof/dramatic way possible that I knew what she had done with Donnie and I thought it was gross and she was a bad friend. It was a great moment… Watching those reruns of 90210 really paid off!

Being with childhood friends at a wedding the other weekend brought back lots of memories and the CeCe/Jennifer/Donnie situation was definitely one of them!

Looking back on the situation, I remember feeling helpless. I was a young Plus Size Princess and Jennifer was skinny, so in my head there was no way Donnie would choose me over her. But the more I go over that situation, I see how much my 12 year old insecurities morphed the lens through which I looked at the situation.

The way I saw it back then, Donnie was into me until a skinnier option came along. The truth of the matter is, Donnie was a hormonal boy taking every chance he got to make out with girls (of any size!). Donnie didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend, but he didn’t ask Jennifer to be his girlfriend either. I thought Jennifer had this huge advantage over me because she was skinny, but in the end Donnie treated us both the same.

As they say, “hindsight is 20/20″, we see things with much more clarity as we look back. The helpful thing for someone with body image issues, like me, is that as I look back and see how silly I was as a kid- I can also see how silly I am as a pseudo-adult! Yes, I’m older, wiser and have dated more but I still carry my body image issues around with me. Often times the advice I want to give to my younger PSP self is advice that I still need today… which gives me an idea:

Tomorrow (September 5, 2012) on facebook and twitter, I’d like to host a live Curvy Conversations chat where we talk about what we wish we could have told ourselves as young Plus Size Princesses. Follow me on facebook and/or twitter and we’ll do it at 2pm EST (11am PST). I’ll even do some instant giveaways during the chat for those of you who participate. I’ll post the full details for the live chat early tomorrow morning, but in the meantime think about what you wish you had known as a young Plus Size Princess.

Full Details on the chat can be found here!

Are you down?

One of the cool things about not being anonymous anymore is that I can share ALL the aspects of my NYC life with you guys. If you’ve read TBGB for a while, you’ve heard me mention singing performances here and there. Music is a super important part of my life and a lot of my friends I know from performing.

When I was in Los Angeles last week, I spent a few days with my good friend Jonathon Grant (aka @YourCoverBoy). Jonathon and I met studying Musical Theater in NYC. Now he’s doing well on the west coast acting and doing acousitc covers. Get two singers together for a few days and something creative is bound to happen… we started messing around with some of our favorite songs and did an impromptu mash-up/cover… here it is, hope you like it!

xoxo