Ever notice how songs always promote the same story?

“I spotted you from across the bar… took your hand and led you to the dance floor … and as we danced we fell in love.”

I’ve been getting a lot of emails asking me about the BBW Club scene in New York City and before I tell people where they can go, I always feel the need to tell them not to expect anything. Maybe I’m trying to save them from the rude awakening I had….

Moving to NYC, where the night life is pretty major, I could not wait to start going to clubs so that I could fall in love. When my friends and I scored fake ID’s I knew that it would be a matter of time until I found love in the club. (Gosh, I was so naive!)

After a few weekends partying with the 21+ crowds in Manhattan, reality hit as I watched my skinny girl friends get picked up over and over by different guys while I stood awkwardly watching and trying not to feel uncomfortable. I was so jealous when guys would ask for their numbers. In my mind, they were living the music video dream! Meeting guys in clubs and bars…

I can remember going with Kenzie to a country bar where the girls were encouraged to dance on the bar for free shots. Kenzie and I were moving our hips to “you can leave your hat on” when a gorgeous blue-eyed, curly haired man raised his glass to me from down on the floor. When I jumped down and took my shot, he bought me a drink. Then we danced to country songs and I let him kiss me in the middle of the dance floor. Soon we weren’t even dancing… we were just making out in the middle of the dance floor. “You’re so beautiful”, “I’m so glad I met you,” he would whisper in between kisses. He asked for my number and I stared at my phone for weeks waiting for Heath (that was his name) to call, but he never did.

Two months later, Kenzie and I went back and Heath was there, he barely remembered me and I felt like an idiot.

Fast forward to my time at the BBW clubs. Once I started hitting up the places where my size didn’t matter, I was sure that I would start living my own music video dream. Guys would spot me from across the room… pull me onto the dance floor… I would start to think “this is it”… I would feel the guys warm breath on my neck as he held me close. I would wonder if this would be the moment we would start to feel something for each other, but the only thing I would “feel” would be in the guys pants. Awkward!

The guys who did ask for my number rarely wanted anything more than to “come to my apartment and hang out”. Or to text me randomly at 2am. The guys I met in the club weren’t looking for love, they were looking to fulfill their lust.

Eventually I grew up a little, I stopped looking at bars and clubs as a place to meet men and started seeing them as a place to let loose and have fun. I have a few friends that met their boyfriends/husbands in bars, but from what I can see those girls are the exception, not the rule.

All of the substantial men I’ve dated have been from the internet, at work or through friends… not at clubs. But that’s me!

Have YOU ever found love in the club?

A girlfriend of mine warned me that there’s something magical about weddings. She gave me a heads up that weddings create a very romantic mood.

I had no idea what she was talking about… Until my best friend married his boyfriend. Watching two people commit to each other is so powerful that that love and romance behind it is almost contagious.

I was honored to stand next to Adam, a boy I had grown up with, as his Best Girl. I surprised myself by crying through the entire ceremony but it was such a moving event, I couldn’t help it!

After a pow-wow with the wedding party in the pastors office (with more tears of joy and the signing of the marriage certificate) we made our way into the churches garden where the reception was being held. I couldn’t stop smiling while watching Adams family and friends applaud him and his new husband. Amid the sea of happy faces, my eyes met Roberts, he smiled and opened his arms as I walked towards him.

“You look so pretty,” he said, kissing me on the cheek.

Immediately all of the doubt and anxiety I had about inviting him to the wedding melted away. I was glad he was there. Maybe it was the magic of the wedding, but I could feel happiness radiating from my body.

Over the course of the night my friends pulled me to the side with comments like, “you guys are sooo cute together, oh my God!” and “CeCe, you’re next!” I laughed them off and just kept dancing.

At one point Robert and I struck up a conversation with one of the wedding guests. A young guy who didn’t seem to be there with anyone. We’d all had a few drinks, but I was still surprised when the random guest looked at us and said “so, are you two… together?”

I paused.

“Yeah- we are,” Robert said without hesitation. Then he gave my hand a little squeeze.

I casually took a sip of champagne to toast the moment (and hide the smile that was spreading across my face). There’s something about hearing a guy tell another guy that you’re with him. It just feels good.

The random guest raised his glass, “good for you man… she’s a beautiful girl.” (I didn’t know who this guy was, but I really liked him.)

Later, when I saw some of the photos of us on facebook I could see it- we were both grinning, laughing, dancing, cuddling each other, holding hands and you could see the happiness that I was feeling that night in each photo. It was radiating from both of us.

Maybe that’s the magic of weddings!

Normally I don’t post about a clothing line until I’ve had the chance to see how it feels and most importantly… how it fits! But I’m going to break that rule today to talk about Eloquii by The Limited.

As Plus Size Princesses we’re always begging mainstream stores to extend into plus sizes and we’re in a constant search for plus size clothes that are on trend with what is designed for our skinny girlfriends.

Well, it looks as if The Limited might be answering those needs with Eloquii.

According to their Press Release, “eloquii by The Limited carries women’s clothing which ranges from professional chic to fashionable flair, featuring looks that fit your body and your sense of style. From clothes that make you look sharp at the office, to dresses that take you to any occasion, this is fashion designed for you and inspired by you.”

I would love to see this line in their brick and mortar stores and not just online, but this is a huge step in the right direction and I’m hoping other brands will follow suit!

Welcome to the Plus Size Fashion world Eloquii… I can’t wait to try you on!

“Hello, can I have a tall soy pumpkin spice latte?” I asked, giving myself a pat on the back for ordering a tall instead of a grande.

“Sure thing,” the barista replied with a friendly grin “whipped cream?”

“ummm,” I hesitated calculating if the extra calories were worth it. Normally, I’d be having a plain coffee, but today I was treating myself to one of my favorite autumn drinks and I didn’t want to over-do it. “No, thanks.”

The barista, was working alone and I was his only customer. Somehow while he made my drink, we began chatting and I could sense a mild flirtation from his end. He reached over to hand me my drink and to my surprise it was a grande cup. “oh- I ordered a tall,” I said, handing it back. “Don’t worry about it,” he replied with a wink.

A few months ago I was getting deli sliced meat from the grocery store near my house. I ordered half a pound of thin sliced turkey. The guy sliced way more than half a pound, but only charged me for a half. “The rest is on me,” he whispered so his manager wouldn’t hear.

Guys giving me large portions or freebies isn’t anything new. Its also not something that’s exclusive to me as a Plus Size Princess. But as I do my best to eat better and slim down, I find myself looking at how much food is integrated into the way I communicate with the opposite sex and it goes both ways, we grow up hearing that “the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach”. I think back to when Robert and I first started spending time together and it was all centered around food.

When we first started talking in the office, we would snag cupcakes for each other after an office meeting. It was cute, innocent and began when I wasn’t watching my weight like I am now. So when I began to get serious about weight loss, he would come by my desk with a sweet treat and a proud smile on his face, and although it was still adorable- I would almost wince thinking about the calories. Eventually, I had to ask him to not bring me so many sweets and instead, I’ll bring over sliced apples to his desk.

But Robert is someone I have a relationship with so those conversations are easy. There’s no way for me to tell the barista at Starbucks that his friendly/flirtatious gesture was throwing my diet off track. I also know myself and if I have a grande soy pumpkin spice latte… I am going to finish it!

Of course there are worse things in the world than getting free food from guys who think I’m pretty, but as I try to lose weight these things stand out more in my mind.

I guess I’ll just get 15 more minutes of cardio in, to balance it out!