Tales of a Plus Size Bridesmaid: Should I Bring a Date?

Filed Under: Dating

My best friend Adam is marrying his boyfriend.

Adam and I grew up together in California and now we both live in New York. At this point he’s more than a friend, he’s family. He’s asked me to be his Best Girl/Person of Honor (or whatever you want to call it) and I’m beyond excited.

As we’ve been planning the wedding and getting details together, Adam keeps asking me the same question: Are you bringing Robert?

I avoided the question for as long as possible because I’m not quite sure how I feel about bringing dates to weddings. But eventually Adam got me to open up about how conflicted I was. I feel like it could put a lot of unnecessary pressure on a couple who isn’t themselves preparing to walk down the aisle. If I cry, will he think I’m a wedding obsessed bridezilla in training? If I’m aloof will he think I’m too cynical when it comes to marriage? On the other hand, Robert and I always have a blast together and having a date to a dance party wedding reception would make it all the more fun. Why would I rob myself of that?

I went round and round with him on the pros and cons and eventually, Adam helped me to see that maybe I was over-thinking things. Adams thoughts on the matter were that if I wanted Robert at the wedding, I should ask him to come… so I did. The weddings in a few days and I’m excited that Robert will come. I’ve already told him that he has to dress up and I’m excited for him to see me in the sexy cocktail dress that I’m wearing.

In the back of my mind I’m still nervous, but I’m mostly excited.

How do you guys feel about bringing dates to weddings?

Published on Tuesday, September 6, 2011

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15 Comments

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http://bigwordslittlematters.blogspot.com/ Charlotte

Personally, I’d be really nervous to take a guy in case we later broke up and I had to see my ex in my friend’s wedding photos. Having said that, I’d probably still do it because going solo to a wedding always makes me feel just a tiny bit sad. Definitely enjoy having Robert there with you!
http://skinnyemmie.com Emmie

Just have fun, celebrate the couple, and enjoy Robert’s company! I know some brides are weird about having their bridal party bring dates, but as long as they’re okay with hit (and he is), then just celebrate the awesome union with Robert in tow.
Kristin

Hmmmm…..I was one of the people who thought maybe you and robert shouldnt date. Now, I am feeling the same. How long have you been dating now? And you still don’t know where you stand with him (which is obvious by the fact that you are nrvous to ask him to a wedding)? Seems weird to me…… :/
http://singlikesassy.blogspot.com SingLikeSassy

Yeah, you were WAY over thinking it. It’s a date. Just go, be pretty and have a great time.
http://glowithlove.blogspot.com Gloria

I definitely think you were over thinking it. It’s always nice to have someone to bring to a wedding. I totally understand why you would be worried about what Robert might think it would mean because weddings to bring up the topic of marriage. If you’re that worried about you guys could have a little talk about where you stand at this moment. But it doesn’t seem necessary from all that you’ve said. I think you two will have a ball!
DanielleB

I think…that if he was actually afraid of going to a simple little wedding with you then that would put thoughts in your mind. Does he not ever want to get married (which we all think about eventually when dating someone). And I’m sure he’s not thinking the same things as you were He’s a guy…they don’t think that complex
Robert

I don’t see anything wrong with it! Have fun! It’s a wedding….
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Sue

I’m sure you’re overthinking the case. But that’s what we girls often do… Have fun at the party, CeCe!
Kristin

Hi! I recently was in a similar situation- not sure what to do with my sort-of boyfriend when going to my friends wedding. I ended up going alone..BUT I met my friends brother and we hit it off instantly! Sort-of boyfriend gone…hellooo friend’s brother! haha Have fun at the wedding with Robert!
Caramel

I always take a date to weddings. I like having a dance partner at the event. It has never once crossed my mind that a date would read into the invitation or how I reacted while there.
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http://quarterforherthoughts.com IntrigueMe

Any time I’ve asked a guy to come to a wedding, I could practically see the fear in his eyes. So no, unless I’m in a very serious relationship, I probably would take a friend or go solo if I knew lots of people there. Plus, I took a man-friend to a wedding in August and since I knew lots of people there and he didn’t, he was really bored and ditched me early.