When a Man Gives You His Business Card (Exhibit A)

Filed Under: Dating

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and I was sitting at one of my favorite coffee shops with my laptop in front of me sipping a cup of chai tea.

Every time I looked up, I made eye contact with a man two tables over. He had shoulder-length hair, a khaki jacket and an ascot (yes, an ascot) poking through his white button down shirt. Although I could tell he was older, he had this European artsy style to him that was kind of cool, so when he passed my table and said “Hi” I smiled and said “Hello”.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he said. Then he gestured to the empty chair at my table, “May I?”

“You may,” I said, blushing.

He sat down, introduced himself and asked me a few casual questions. We bantered for a bit and then he asked, “what do you think of the photography here?”

“I love it,”

“I’m glad… its my work,” he said.

I looked that the tags on the bottom of each photo and it was the same name he’d used to introduce himself. Since my laptop was in front of me, I slyly Googled him, confirmed his identity and saw that in the photography world, he’s a really big deal (which is why I’m not using his name).

“Gosh you’re so beautiful,” he said as I quickly closed the Google tab in my browser. “I don’t want to keep you from whatever you’re doing, but here’s my card. I’d love to hear from you.”

I took his card, and mulled over the idea of emailing him.

As you may have noticed, I’m a very traditional girl. I like when the guy initiates phone calls, dates etc. so when a guy gives me his card it really throws me off. I feel like:

-He’s insecure.
-He’s willing to risk never hearing from me if I decide not to reach out.
-He’s not the type to take charge.

None of these things are good. In this situation, I might give the photographer a chance only because he did reference our age difference. If he’s insecure about my interest due to his age, then fine. I can reach out, establish that the age thing isn’t a big deal to me and then see if he takes charge from there.

But was I truly interested?

I put his business card in my wallet until I could decide.

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Published on Monday, April 12, 2010
17 Comments
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11535284054603002882 janelle

    if the only hesitation you have is him not taking charge by getting your number,
    then call that man!
    if your hesitation is more than that,
    then accept that encounter for what it is.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09827625567697800795 Monique

    I think you should give him call. He definitely seemed interested from that encounter. maybe he didn't want to press too much since you seemed engrossed in your laptop and he felt he was interupting. I think it may be worth a shot of stepping out of the box for me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08382030922676649070 Gina

    Actually, I think he was being rather gentlemanly and is certainly interested. I agree with janelle: he did take charge (approached you first(and politely, I might add – a sad rarity in this day and age!), complimented you, even noticed you were busy, attempted a conversation and his personal information along with an invitation to call); I'd definitely call unless you have other reservations.

    *sigh* you are making me wish I were young again and could move to a city just to have these types of opportunities!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06015401660522301009 FatGirlsOpinion

    Eh ill admit i would be kinda iffy about calling him. Why not though? Could be fun to see what happens.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10456228024529738574 ~Sarafina~

    DO IT! Call him! He is obviously interested! He seems very polite.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10944615463613105859 DiaryofWhy

    I'm going to add my two cents and say go for it! If only for your readers. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01233007341124315348 chocdrop

    I disagree with saying he is not one to take charge…..He came over and spoke to you. He let you make the decision without any pressure by giving you his card.

    This way you are not the one sitting around waiting on a phone call.

    Call him…there is nothing wrong with a lunch or something. You at least know he is interested vs. trying to figure it out.
    Let us know how it went.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15479980691366086356 Punky

    I know where you're coming from! I always HATED calling guys first! We're WOMEN! But there's exceptions to every rule right?

    But if he doesn't take charge after that, he's done =)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04754063206192385380 Melly

    If this guy can pull of an ascot, AND rocks the photography world AND picked you to talk to?

    CALL HIM.

    If you leave a message, put it in his court. If you get him directly, put it in his court.

    "Hi this is the girl with the gorgeous smile you introduced yourself to at the coffee house. I wanted to give you my phone number so you can call me for a date sometimes."

    Rawr! :)

  • Anonymous

    Call him.
    If all else fails, you've got a nice story to tell about a guy who wasnt a douchebag (yet to be seen)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08118166101258845293 Kemi

    I would give him a call and put the ball in his court!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04062744050350668104 Girl of True Heart

    Call him. I think he was being professional. I think he would have felt it uncouth to ask for your number. You never know, you could get your photograph taken by a real professional! Look at it as a "you never know" situation.

  • http://singlegirlblogging.wordpress.com/ singlegirlblogging

    I agree with most of the ladies here. He probably was just unsure of your interest so left the decision up to you. What have you got to lose? Go for it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13220339701774995467 MissMelisaMae

    I definitely think you should at least send him a quick email. He did, after all, make the initial contact by coming up to you and asking to sit down at your table. That has to count for something.

    What can it hurt? Give it a go!

  • http://www.kellyseal.com Kelly

    Please call him. Please?? I think he put the effort out there by approaching a total stranger. It would probably have been weird for him to get your number, so he left it in your hands. Let us know what happens!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12370680306582812114 Something She Dated

    Call him! Call him! (I realize this was awhile ago so this may have been decided already…can't wait to find out!) but I really hope you call him. It's one thing to ditch a guy who's always insecure/not take charge etc. but this dude sounds awesome/big deal and worth the risk at least once!

  • http://www.alltheweigh.com/ Kenlie

    This happened to me yesterday, and he was a bit older than I was as well. When he gave me his card the first thought that went through my mind was that he might be worried that he was older.

    If you called him and he didn’t take charge after that you’d know that he probably isn’t the type…That would be a problem for me too.

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