You've done an excellent job summing up the side of the argument your critics haven't considered. It's not about your opinions of short men, it's about your desire-and equal right-to feel feminine.

I didn't spring up quite as quickly as you did, though I watched a friend of mine hit 5'10" in fourth grade and be mistaken for our mother while we were hanging out. Still, in the end, I reached the same height, and most of my female friends were around 5'3". And I knew it didn't feel right, and didn't feel good, to tower over them, like I didn't belong.

I turned down one of the sweetest boys who was ever interested in me because I had about four inches advantage. He was fun, he was cute, but I felt like so awkward looming over him. And that was barefoot. Heels didn't even enter the equation until I got to college, because I was so afraid of making myself even taller.

The only men I've dated have all been 6'1" or taller. I took your requirements a little further and also found men who were significantly stronger than I am. I felt the most little and cute, and therefore most feminine, with one who clocked in at 6'4" and 300 lbs.

I guess it's the ingrained perception that we have that to be feminine is to be cute and (I use this word carefully) protectable. I'm tired of always looking like the protector.

(Oops… I wrote a whole blog-length reply!)

I have a hard time dating guys who are only 1 or 2 inches taller than me…I like my heels as well. While I'm only 5'7, it's kind of difficult to find guys who can accommodate my height, and my full figure. I feel the same way about feeling feminine and it's definitely harder to do when you're towering over a guy-no matter how cute, funny, sweet, etc he is…I'm not one to slouch, but the one time I went out with a guy a tad shorter than me, I felt ALL kinds of self-conscious. Height is a definitely a deal breaker in my book!

CeCe you make some really good points, but here is what I have come to realize. It's all preference. Height is your deal breaker, because that is what you prefer, and in my opinion you should make NO apologies for what you prefer. I am so sick of the mentality that bigger girl cannot be picky. Like hell we can't.

I too prefer taller men, mostly because I have an insane love for 4 inch heels that puts me at 5'10 when I wear them. However, if a guy is not exactly tall, then I just adjust, and save my knees for awhile.

I don't know that I have an deal breakers in the looks department. I have my preferences, and lean toward my preferences. As does anyone!

Im 5'7 and while its not crazy tall I can relate because I've pretty much been that tall since 5th grade… but I ended up with someone who is the same height as me … so when I put on heels I automatically know I am going to be taller than him …but he has a way of carrying himself even if I were 10 feet tall I would feel like his woman small and compact and just right for him … so while I understand where you are coming from … I also got tired of the tall handsome being the ones to do me the worst as well… in the end we all just wanna be loved and well if I have to sacrifice a few inches … and wear more flats… I dont mind!

GREAT POST! I've actually dated men who were both shorter and smaller than me, but I realize that it's not just about wanting to feel "protected" and whatnot, it's probably more about the hyperawareness of my own size. I never think I'm that big…until I'm next to someone tiny. I would date someone smaller but they would have to be AMAZING. Actually I think that some "friends" have made me feel worse about my size than any man. CONSTANT piggyback rides, asking me to be the "man" for any costumes, being everyone's pillow, and even moving heavy crap around! I AM NOT A MULE - is what I wanted to say, but instead I just cut those friends off for some REAL friends who aren't users/abusers. I still LOVE to walk into a club and be the tallest girl there lol. And watching the fear that comes into the eyes of girls who bump into me LOL i'm not a bully i swear!!!

oh gosh this is so meaningful to me. In high school I liked short boys bc there weren't that many tall boys. Since then no one under 6 feet! My husband is 6 food 3 inches and even though he weighs almost 100 pounds less than me I still feel smaller.

They say men are shallow!!!!!
Having a height "requirement" is the shallowest thing you can be because that is something nobody can help.

What if you totally fell in love with someone and want to devote yourself to them and do anything for them but they answer: "Sorry, the minimum requirement is xyz and you're below that. Bye!"
All of your feelings and your entire being have been reduced to a number and deemed unsuitable.

Yes, of course you can have what requirements you like but don't ever criticize men for being shallow or visual - you all win first prize at that.

@ Rebekah
You're mistaking preference with requirement.
Of course I have preferences but that doesn't mean I would turn down anyone who doesn't tick all my boxes.

The people here are talking about a REQUIREMENT - and leave no room for exceptions at all. That is reducing human beings to objects or products.
It is a sad way to think about people.

@Rebekah

Its like me and mushrooms… I know they have nutritional value and they might do me good in many ways. But no matter the variety, how big, small, diced, sauteed etc. When I eat mushrooms I want to gag! This has happened since I was six… at some point I just have to accept it.

As someone who is a very specific physical type I understand how it feels not to be considered by men because of how I look.

But as a human being, I recognize that it takes a rare/special kind of person male OR female to just date "the person inside" and not take outside appearances into consideration.

There are men who wont date me because I'm fat. There are men I wont date because they are short.

Are we missing out? Duh!

But I dont want to sacrafice physical attraction and the passion that comes with it just so I can say I'm not shallow.

xoxo

P.S. I'm loving this dialoge… I think its great! There are some more "Deal Breakers" on the way in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!

I agree and understand 100%! I am a big girl and tend to like bigger/taller guys. In fact, I have a rule: If I can't fit into his t-shirt, I wont go out with him.

Shorter men make me feel even bigger than I am. My height or maybe one inch shorter, but not more than that. Sadly it isn't about them, it is about me.

I am a short man, but fully respect your point of view. My wife is few inches taller than me, and she always says that she would have never thought she would date or marry a shorter man. But we met, I was persistent and she finally went on a date with me, and we have been together for 18 years. So you never know.