Tahoe Bill,

Though I cannot speak for Celeste… I can give you my opinion… I have used those exact words, when telling a guy what I wanted while we were in the "getting to know each other" process. I'm extremely careful with my semantics, because its been my experience (and those of many friends) that you can very easily scare off a guy by coming across as if you're looking for a walk down the aisle in two seconds.

Its also very easy to be seen as desperate, when in fact, all you want is an honest statement about where the guy wants this thing to go. I have been in relationships that I allowed to go on WAY too long without a label or even just a clear understanding about what I could expect in the future… all because I didn't want the guy to think I was fishing for a ring.

Now, I'm able to properly voice my wants, and to be clear about wanting a committed, exclusive relationship IF in fact the guy and I actually hit it off. This is important to me, because if he isn't looking for the same thing, or the same level of seriousness with ME, then we are both wasting our time.

CeCe, you dodged a bullet. I'm happy Thomas showed his true colors so quickly. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, just that I believe you should listen when people tell you who they are, the first time. That email spoke loud and clear.

Emails like those are the reason I'm on a dating hiatus right now. He knew exactly what you meant about being straightforward and honest, but decided to test his luck anyway. Some men do that, even though their mouths say otherwise.

I can however understand how from a male perspective it could be understood that you are down for whatever but that's not what said.

Good post, interesting story! Honestly, I think you said it best that when a guy says he's keeping it casual, there's not much more to say. Maybe because he's pretty much said it all.

Otherwise. Tahoe makes an interesting point…

See — this is why dating is a sport. It's a game with a lot of rules. But it's never dull.

I agree with Pinky and Bill, YOU were NOT as CLEAR as you think you were being.

Try saying what you mean instead of beating around the bush. Say yes I am looking for a serious relationship!!! And say No I'm not looking for casual dating!

But did you say that….nooooo.

The comments have been coming down on dude like he said drop your panties and nothing else.

This dude asked maybe if the possibility was there since he wasn't serious and you left the door open that you weren't serious.

Bigger point was that he said that it was cool either way but he just wanted to know what was on your mind.

Damn…the dude should have just lied to you.
When a guy is honest..you put him down like he's some perv.

Dude was 100% honest and up front and didn't try to waste your time.

But a guy that's creepy and a loof that wanted to waste time like that Plus size Prince gets kudos…come'on…WTF?

Dodged a bullet??? Y'all act like dude was not trying to be up front from the damn beginning! Like he was hiding the fact he didn't want to be serious. There wasn't a bullet to dodge.

This wazs a really interesting dialogue and made me rethink my dating approach (if there is such a thing). I was one of the people that didn't find the email offensive (though comical since it was clear he was trying to be careful but still clear about his desires). I'd rather have it out there.

He wants intimacy in the middle of the tunnel. That's pretty easy to figure out!

Oh my. I'm so excited I found your blog. Love it.

Boys…ha! This entry made me laugh. : ] I will be back.

Love,
B

i dunno…maybe i'm naive (ok, i know i am), but asking about middle ground sounds like some fun make-out, hang out action to me. not serious relationship, but not necessarily sex either. and isn't that how relationships can grow?
Plus, the guy who says on the first date, "I am looking for a serious relationship" is usually either stalker material or lying to get the drawers anyway. the normal guy who says that and means it is rarer than april snow.