Hey CeCe,
I would say it’s a mixture of both. There is someone I’m interested in having s*x with. I also feel like I’m at the maturity level to handle the repercussions of s*x. I’m more sure of myself as a person and can stand my ground - I speak up for myself and get what I want. I knew before that I couldn’t handle being s*xually active - school was first (I recently graduated) and I was working through some personal issues.
Hi PB,
Okay that makes sense, I’ll answer your questions the best I can. Yes, I definitely have anxiety/insecurity about my body when there’s a man in the room. While Plus Size Princesses might have more body image issues to sort through, from what I understand, those feelings are normal for women of all sizes (yes, even skinny girls).
A few things to think about:
-You’re using some very interesting words around this subject “anxiety” and “repercussions” stick out the most, very negative words. While we all have awkwardness about our bodies, I feel like when your focus is on sharing your body with another person, some of that lifts. If there is a deep bond/emotional connection, then the physical becomes an extension of that. That said, you’re saying that you’ve never had a relationship but there is someone you want to sleep with. So, I’m going to assume that this person you have in mind is not someone who is committed to you.
-I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again even though some girls reading this wont agree: As women we need to be very careful about who we share our bodies with. When we have intimate experiences, our biological nature is to attach to the person gave us pleasure. We release a hormone call
oxytocin that makes us want to bond. We also release this hormone when we have babies, it connects us strongly to people. Because of this I’d say think twice before just sleeping with someone to “get it over with”, because you might catch feelings and if they don’t feel the same towards you? It could be a frustrating/painful experience.
-You might be disappointed. Sleeping with someone can be so awesome… or so terrible. There are so many variables, so think about what your expectations are and talk them through with the person you want to sleep with. (if you’re not comfortable talking it through, they may not be the right person.
-Be safe, use protection, see a doctor and ask about birth control, HPV vaccines, etc.
-Lastly, my best friend Alex has an expression “if you have to ask….”. Meaning if you have to ask about something that means you already know the answer (i.e. if I have to ask if my skirt is too short, then it probably is). In the same like manner, if you’re looking outside of your twosome for guidance on your comfort level with intimacy, maybe that’s not the most comfortable twosome for you to be intimate in? Maybe there someone out there who is not just willing but ABLE to enjoy this milestone with you, hold your hand and make you feel good about yourself before/during/after… just a thought!
Okay my lovelies, help me out here… what advice do you have for PB? What do you wish someone had told you before you started sleeping with people? Chime in below!
