On Saturday I went to an awesome loft party with Jess Downey, a dating blogger who has crazier dating stories than I do! Walking into the party, I felt good. I’d spent 2 hours in the gym, gotten a pedicure earlier that day and I was wearing my convertible dress from Igigi in the one-shoulder version.

As we stood at the bar waiting for our drinks, men began to approach us. It was then that I realized how long it had been since I’d been out in the bar scene without Robert. Men were flirting with Jess and me and for a few minutes, I forgot how to flirt in a bar. At first, I let Jess do most of the talking. She’s adorable, she’s got a great energy about her and she’s very approachable. Guys were coming over and saying silly/witty/funny/random things. We’d laugh and then Jess would retort with her own humorous comments.

But I felt weird because I was no longer fluent in flirty “bar-banter”. Bar banter, is that kind of funny/sarcastic way that strangers of the opposite sex interact at a bar. It’s often short sentences that are yelled into someones ear over the music. Once a punchline is reached, everyone laughs and then prays that awkward silence doesn’t follow. Here’s an example:

Guy: I can’t believe they only have one bartender here

Girl: Me either, he’s making some complicated drinks!

Guy: I know– I say, he pours us all shots and we call it a day!

Girl: I’m down!

(laughter) (maybe even a high-five)

These are the conversations that “we met at a bar” stories are made of. There’s no substance, no real understanding of who the other person is… but somehow people translate this into dating situations. A few drinks later my Bar-Banter skills came back after a few conversations and I was holding my own while playing wing-girl for Jess. But then I remembered that bar-banter never appealed to me, it actually used to drive me a little crazy.

As a single girl, Bar-Banter is technically awesome! Being approached by a guy, laughing at his dumb jokes maybe even letting a guy buy me a drink or dancing with him felt good and of course, I always wondered if it would lead to something more. Turning Bar-Banter into something more (i.e. a phone number or a date) is even more difficult and honestly, I forgot how stressful it all can be.

Are you fluent in “Bar-Banter”? Do you enjoy flirting with guys at bars?